This blog provides you with a comprehensive overview of the femdom places in SL. You can get a quick overview or read the in depth descriptions that go as far as summarizing the history as far as it is known. We are not associated with any of the femdom places on SL aside being casual visitor.
We made a list of all the active femdom sims/places we could find in Second Life. You can see the list here on the right. Click to read the information of every femdom and feel free to comment (truthful positive or negative comments are welcome)
Just like in any other guide your story is important to get to know your favorite place.We value your opinion highly. None of the comments will be deleted unless they are off topic. We appreciate if you include your SL name in your comment, but we understand if you want to stay anonymous.

If you own a place that is listed here and you want the description or picture changed and/or added, please send me an email with what you want changed.
We wont remove any femdom place or any comments made on your listing, feel free to clarify any story by commenting yourself.
If you own a femdom place and it is not listed here, send me an email and we will get you in the list asap.

New Femdom Finds are new femdom places in the Search list, I don't add them to the Places list unless they exist more than 4 months and have more than 100 members.
I don't post ghost findommes that are basicly empty places with tip jars. If your fetish is being a piggy/atm, go to TDE, valid long-term findomme, sane and non-abusive)

We hope that more submissive men find their way to Second Life and through this blog to all the nice places, the smaller and the bigger ones.
Thanks for your help! ...

The Mistress Manual

The Mistress Manual
The Good Girl's Guide to Female Dominance
Part One
Becoming a Mistress
The Mistress Manual by: Mistress Lorelei

1

WHY BECOME A MISTRESS?:
Some Unexpected Pleasures
"When we are flat on our backs there is no way to look but up." - Roger W Babson

"For my readers who have already tasted the heady wine of total control over a submissive
male, this question may seem absurd. The answer is so obvious: being a Mistress is fun.
Female Dominance offers the Mistress a cornucopia of delights. (The submissive male enjoys
it too, although there are moments in scene when he may not seem to do so.)
But why should a woman enjoy forcing her beloved husband into a humiliating costume of
corset, high heels, and ruffled sissy panties? What would make a man, often a powerful, highly
paid professional, gladly submit to a severe spanking while so attired? What is so much fun
about playing power games?
The reasons generally fall into three categories. First, the joy of escape into a fantasy world.
Second, the sheer sensual delight of the costumes, the risk, and the physical stimulation.
Third, the bliss of sharing the deepest possible intimacy
and trust with another human being.
The Joy of Fantasy. No matter how pleasant and fulfilling your daily life is, sometimes you
need to escape from your role as responsible adult, dutiful worker, or dedicated family
member. The more stressful that role is, the further it is from your own deepest impulses, the
more you need an, escape from the limitations of everyday life. Some people use alcohol,
drugs, or gambling to transcend their ordinary lives, but these activities generally prove to be
both destructive and unsatisfying. But the escape provided by a rich fantasy life can be
constructive and extraordinarily fulfilling. Instead of destroying true intimacy, shared fantasy
increases it. Instead of harming the body, sexual release helps it. Instead of stifling the needs
of your true self, fantasy allows you to express and realize your deepest needs - and in the
process, fantasy brings forth a new, stronger reality.
A New and Powerful Self. The practice of Female Domination allows the Mistress to express
her power, the tough and controlling part of herself that may be unacceptable at work or in the
community. When you assume the role of
Mistress, with its attendant garb, behavior, speech, and rituals, you may feel like you are
becoming someone else. In the process, you will find yourself allowed to say and do things
strictly forbidden in ordinary life. Paradoxically, that someone else is yourself - just a part of
yourself that you don't ordinarily allow to speak.
The transformation is uniquely liberating. Letting your wicked and powerful inner self out to
play is more than a sure cure for stress. In Jungian terms, it is a way of integrating your
Shadow, the hidden and rejected self
Becoming a Dominatrix may at first seem schizophrenic, especially if you are still a nice girl.
Later you will find the Mistress's powers infiltrating your daily life. For example, you may
become more assertive in ordinary situations. If you can imagine commanding your leering
male boss to lick your shoes for daring to take a liberty with you, you may react with the proper
icy disdain (plus lawsuit) when he sexually harasses you, instead of asking yourself what you
did to invite his unspeakable caresses. Eventually your Dominatrix self will be, not the opposite
of your usual self, but a playful intensification of it.
As a Mistress, you will be able to command the respect you may not otherwise receive,
because on many levels, our culture devalues the female and exalts the male. Every day
women suffer the onslaughts of power-maddened males, from rowdy construction workers to
condescending bankers. (Congress alone should turn any self-respecting woman into a
Dominatrix.) It is a positive pleasure to come home from an encounter with a stupid, crude, or
demeaning male to a sissy maid who worships and adores your divine femaleness. A properly
trained male submissive will respect all the attributes of the female, from our pedicured feet to
our delicate panties to our beautiful hair. And yes - our power as well.
Moreover, you will enjoy the thrill of rebelling against all the deluded creatures (male and
female) who taught you that men must be placated, appeased, and served. As a Mistress, you
will order a male to placate, appease, and serve you, a welcome change.

There is also the simple excitement of power, which has been called the greatest aphrodisiac.
Having your commands obeyed, your womanhood worshipped, and your lightest wishes
treated as urgent commands is extremely arousing. You will learn to revel in the wicked thrills
of power: forcing a man into helpless bondage, ordering him to act as your maid, demanding
hours of oral service from his willing mouth and tongue. The infliction of play punishment
becomes a thrilling experience, for your blows (which he deserves and desires) will not only
produce gratifying evidence of your power in the form of tears, cries, and reddened nether
cheeks, they will also produce a change in your partner's behavior. Most of us wish to have an
effect in this world, and being a Mistress produces quite entertaining and immediate effects.

A practical pleasure, but one not to be scorned, is the maid service a wise Mistress can extract
from her submissive. Most women must beg, nag, and scold their men into doing housework,
to no avail. Whether doing housework is part of your submissive's fantasy - an it may well not
be - negotiating power play can make negotiating other roles much easier. If you have a sissy
maid, your housecleaning days may well be over, for he takes pleasure in serving. Cooking,
housecleaning, laundry (especially delicate hand laundry) can all become part of his sexual
satisfaction and evidence of your growing power.

A New and Powerless Self. But what pleasure does the male find in his embarrassing and
frequently painful role? He too has a Shadow, a self he cannot acknowledge or express in
ordinary life. Boys mustn't cry, or wear frilly clothes, or be passive; they have to be strong,
silent, macho men. His role as sissy maid or well-spanked schoolboy or diapered baby permits
him to express forbidden emotions and wear taboo clothing. If he simply wants, openly and
sincerely, to surrender his will to a woman, that need, as intense and undeniable as thirst, can
finally be slaked in scene.

Given society's constant demands on men to be masculine, to take charge, to succeed, to get
it up and keep it up, to do instead of be, it is no wonder that some of the strongest, brightest,
and most successful males seek contact with their hidden selves through submission to a
woman's firm but kindly rule.

The pleasures of the submissive are the polar opposites of (and therefore closely akin to) the
pleasures of the Mistress. It is a truism that all polarities express the opposite ends of a single
principle or idea. Like yin and yang, darkness and light, submissive male and dominant female
need one another to be complete.

Moreover, the two are not simply opposites. Even the most severe Mistress takes pleasure not
only in compelling her slave's submission, but also in fulfilling his fantasies. Likewise, the most
subservient slave enjoys not only surrendering to his Mistress's power, but also gratifying his
own hidden desires. In short, however absolute the lady's command may seem, it is always
tempered with a concern for her submissive's satisfaction and well-'being. And likewise,
however abject a slave may appear, he is in some sense in control of the situation, for if he
refused to respond, the Dominatrix would no longer be in charge. The two roles are symbiotic.
Moreover, a submissive never starts out powerless. He must have power in order to hand it
over to his Mistress, who holds it in a blind trust until he needs it back. That may be at the end
of a scene, after renegotiation, or even at the end of a lifestyle relationship.

Nothing Could Be More Natural. The first power we all know is female. Although not all
women are interested in exercising that power as a Mistress, both men and women find a
certain innate fitness in female Dominance. It is a return to childhood and the loving rule of our
mothers, who might punish but who always forgave.
Although all women start life as daughters, not mothers, they must someday move forward
from being a powerless child to being a woman in authority. Becoming a Dominatrix is one way
to celebrate your innate female strength. Indeed, every woman, whether she becomes a
mother or chooses not to . bear children, must experience the transformation into a female
authority in order to become an adult and truly her own Mistress. (This is true even of female
sub missives, who find their greatest joy in surrender; choosing to surrender, choosing their
own Dominant, understanding and fulfilling their own sexuality, is a position of genuine power -
power surrendered, but nevertheless consciously known, used, felt.)

This transformation was considerably simpler in the days when Goddess worship was the rule.
Without taking a stand on any specific form of modern Goddess worship, I must say that when
the Feminine face of the Deity is neglected, things go sadly wrong. (See Chapter 2 for more
information.) Even without a solid religious structure to help a young girl deal with her passage
into womanhood, she must learn to accept and use her innate female power.
Sensual Enjoyments. Aside from the psychological satisfactions outlined above, there are
physical pleasures unique to Dominance/submission, relationships. The role of Mistress is both
demanding and sexually satisfying. The role of submissive - whether maid, slave, schoolboy -
can stretch a male to his limits bur ends in true, deep release.

Intense Stimulation. The submissive male enjoys female Domination . because it feels good.
His major reward is erotic pleasure of an exceptionally
intense and prolonged nature. Some of the components of that pleasure may not seem too
enjoyable - spankings, enemas or diapering, foot worship, cock-and-baIl torture - but they are
pleasurable, partly because they are so intense, partly because they promote a psychological
letting-go that enables a male to achieve a splendid orgasm (if his Mistress permits).

Perhaps the prime sensual enjoyment is the one least explicable to those who have never
played the game. Intense stimulation may seem like pain, but it is not (primarily) pain. The
deep muscle stimulation of a spanking or paddling; the sense of compression inside a tightly
laced corset or a locked male chastity device; the overwhelming feeling of being possessed
that comes from anal penetration; the smaller but still intense sensations from the plucking of
pubic hairs, the pinching of nipples, or the pricking of the male's glans: all these are intense
stimulations. Under their influence, the male forgets himself and his worries, becoming no
more than a sexual toy for an all-powerful female tyrant. His mind cannot drift toward work or
money or any other mundane consideration. He is bombarded by sensations - some painful,
some pleasurable, some mixed, all intense.

Within the world of the fantasy, all these feelings are not only permitted but encouraged. And
they are enjoyed at the will of an imperious and often capricious Mistress, so the additional
psychological stimulation of suspense is added to the already overpowering physical
sensations. Best of all, he is not permitted to spoil the stimulation by reaching orgasm.
The sensation of being simultaneously urged forward and held back, both whipped and curbed,
is the great defining experience of male submission. The result is stimulation added to
stimulation, multiplied, reduplicated, intensified almost to screaming point. Then the sudden
release of orgasm.

Restraint, even forced restraint, increases male sexual satisfaction. Too many men, seeking
immediate release, rush through foreplay and intercourse, frustrating their partners and
shortchanging themselves. Under the tuition of a Mistress, such males learn that their sexual
satisfaction must be delayed until the lady has had her fill of pleasure. A skilled Dominatrix will
prolong the male's sexual arousal, simultaneously forbidding and encouraging it, and thereby
give him the great gift of true release.

The Dominatrix enjoys prolonged stimulation as well. Both the demonstration of her power and
the subduing of her slave are quite arousing, but she often (if she is wise) has another form of
pleasure available to her. (And it's good for her partner as well) I refer to the ancient and
sacred practice of cunnilingus. Few women can get enough of this luscious activity, while
submissive males find it the ultimate act of worship. It fulfills the twin criteria of intensity and
restraint, for the male submissive kneeling before his lady's Shrine is overpowered by his
nearness to her most intimate secrets. Nevertheless, he cannot mar the experience by
climaxing too rapidly, especially if the Mistress has had the forethought to fasten him into a
secure chastity device. (See Chapter 8 for an illuminating discussion of ways to maintain
control of your submissive male while you are close to swooning with your fifth orgasm.)

The Freedom to Feel. Paradoxically, many people find Dominance and submission fantasies
liberating. Under the feigned duress lies real permission to go and enjoy acts, clothes, or
sensations that are otherwise strictly forbidden. Moreover, the submissive need feel no guilt for
enjoying these things; not only did his cruel Mistress force him into those ruffled panties or that
demeaning position of servitude, she also "punished" him for his transgression. The scenario
of misbehavior, punishment, and forgiveness is a classic Aristotelian plot that often both actors
their traditional catharsis.

The submissive's release often includes tears. During Dominance play, many sub missives
resolve other tensions in their lives. Some males cannot cry except in the context of the game.
Others need to express other taboo emotions: fear, anger, rebellion, contrition, or
helplessness. After his forbidden outburst, the Mistress punishes him and then offers forgiveness and consolation.
Submissive males, especially those in positions of extraordinary responsibility, also seek
respite from the stress of constant decision-making. It's a relief to be told precisely what to do
and how to do it, to have the penalties for mistakes so clear-cut and so immediate. A session
of schoolboy discipline, for example, may be painful but it is also sure to have a happy ending.
Real life is never so well choreographed or so satisfying.

Forbidden Silk and Lace and Leather. Yet another attraction of female Domination is the
chance to wear different clothes. Costumes, like uniforms, transform and identify their wearers.
For the submissive male, who must wear tailored suits and strangling neckties to work, a
maid's uniform or a small boy's clothing represent a break with the grind of daily life and an
escape into the freedom of a new self.

Many male submissives enjoy dressing in women's clothing. Female garb is the ultimate break
with society's standards for manhood: deeply shaming, for every male is raised to despise the
sissy, yet also compellingly erotic. Women's clothing, with its soft textures, its lovely colors, its
delicate construction, is designed to be sensual. Furthermore, it has the attraction of the utterly
taboo. A man in female dress is far beyond the bounds of the acceptable and is therefore free.
Lastly, it is associated with women and their mysteries and the sexual bliss they may grant the
male. Many males believe (wrongly, God knows) that, women's lives are far easier than men's.
Is it any wonder that they seek an escape in the clothing and accessories of the blessed
female?

Sharing Intimacy and Trust. Without trust, a healthy Dominance/ submission relationship is
impossible. Only trust allows partners to discuss their fantasies in the first place, much less act
them out in great detail. Especially if the fantasy entails servitude, bondage, humiliation, or
pain (and what submissive's fantasies do not?), the deepest possible trust is necessary to
make the relationship work in the long term. Though some people find it easier to share their
sexual secrets with strangers, many others find such trust takes time to build. For them, onenight
stands are out of the question. It is impossible to pick a man up, learn his needs, fulfill
them and yourself, and then disappear, all within the space of a few hours.

By giving over his body to his Mistress, a submissive male is saying, "I trust you completely."
But what does that trust entail?
First, the Mistress is responsible to know and respect her partner's limits. If she stays too far
within his bounds, he may feel frustrated, disappointed, and unsatisfied. If she crosses the lint:
too far, he could be hurt, emotionally or physically. Learning how to push a man to his limits -
and not beyond - is a complex process, and it takes time.
Nevertheless, once that trust has been established, it is one of the great sources of joy in a
relationship. My submissive husband trusts me with his body and knows I will not hurt him
more than he needs; he also knows that I am responsive and loving to his more conventional
needs, and that he can trust me with his life as well as with a razor, some soap, and his
testicles.
Perhaps most important, sharing fantasies deepens the bonds between partners. A submissive
man who knows his wife or lover understands his deepest sexual needs (needs he may have
always been too ashamed of and too frightened to share) will be contented, faithful, and
affectionate. A Dominant Woman who understands her husband's fantasies well enough to
construct a satisfying scene for him will also understand other things about him, and she will
be strong enough to demand her rights should he attempt to grow domineering in their daily
relationship. Marriages in which the Wife is Dominant are often the most egalitarian and the
most truly satisfying. Furthermore, the Dominance/submission relationship is often played out
as a switch: one time he takes control, the next he does. Such trust and intimacy are bound to
help make a very happy marriage.
If you are interested in the step-by-step creation of such intimacy, skip Chapter 2 and go on to
Chapter 3. If you still have doubts, read Chapter 2 before you go on.

2

THE RELUCTANT MISTRESS:
Learning to Love Command

How shall I rule over others, that hath not full power and command of myself? - Francois

Despite the catalogue of the pleasures of Female Domination given in Chapter 1, you have
turned to this chapter. Therefore I deduce that you are suffering some conflict over your role as
Mistress. You may feel guilty or ashamed about your fantasies of Dominating men, or you may
be in love with a man who has submissive fantasies and wants you to act them out with him.
(He probably gave this book to you, unless, in a valiant effort to learn, you purchased it for
yourself.) And you, wishing to please him but unwilling or unable to Rule him, feel lonely,
confused, unhappy, repelled, or utterly inadequate. Possibly you yourself are a submissive,
and despair at the thought of ever assuming authority.

Is it possible for you to learn to love command? Can you become a happy, effective, and
satisfied Mistress? YES! Not every Female Tyrant started life with fantasies of punishing and
controlling helpless males. Many learned first how to go through the motions of Dominance
play and only later came to enjoy the experience.

Not only will this book teach you how to become a Mistress but also how to have fun doing so.
It is scarcely my intention to oppress Women with yet another duty owed to males. If, after
listening to my suggestions and giving the fantasy a reasonable trial, you find that you do not
enjoy Female Domination, don’t do it! If your male still insists, dump him. No one has the right
to force you into sexual acts that make you feel uncomfortable. However, you do owe yourself
a chance to try to understand and enjoy this new realm of experience. You may find that you
enjoy it very much indeed.

If you have long-standing fears or conflicts over sexual issues, do yourself the greatest
possible kindness and see a therapist. The process may be painful, bu. (given a decent
therapist and your own willingness to work) it can change your life.

The Repressed Dominatrix

Is it possible to be a Domme and not know it? Absolutely. That's why it's always worth trying.
Remember, if you hate it, you don't have to keep doing it.
I've known several wonderful Dommes who managed to go through twenty. thirty, forty years
without noticing their own deep need for sexual control. Then something changed - a friend
suggested it to them, or they heard or heard a story that unleashed their needs: Then all the
repressed Dommeliness flowed back into their lives, energizing them sexually and giving new
depth and pleasure to their relationships. -

Because our families and society don't offer much support or many positive role models for
Women who need sexual control, it can be easy for us to pack away our dangerous desires
until it's safe to bring them into the light. For years after I became an active Domme, I kept
stumbling into memories of old fantasies and old activities that now, in hindsight, seemed
unmistakably Domme. The hours and hours I spent on the phone with my best friend when we
were fourteen, planning to kidnap a male friend of ours, were a definite clue; the elaborate and
dark kidnapping fantasies I had then had been totally repressed and forgotten until a friend
asked me for suggestions on doing a consensual kidnapping scene. I'd also forgotten the
dungeon fantasies I had dating from my earliest years in school. The games I played with my
first lover - making him sit up and beg, roll over, even bark - were so Dommely that I laughed
aloud when I remembered them. I was sixteen then, but I had completely forgotten doing it.
Being a Domme wasn't emotionally safe for me then, so I saved it for the time when I was
strong enough to do it right.

The Guilty Dominatrix

Perhaps you haven't repressed your needs. All your life you have fantasized about Dominating
a helpless male. Your dreams may range from (relatively) conventional spanking scenes to
fantasies of keeping a male as a sex slave to torment, tease, and control. But you have never
gone forth to find a submissive male. Why not? Here are some possible reasons:

1. You can't respect a man who wants to be Dominated.
2. You don't believe any men actually want to be Dominated.
3. You're afraid the real experience won't measure up to your fantasies.
4. You're afraid that you would or could seriously hurt the submissive male.
5. You don't believe that it's morally right for Women to Dominate men.
6. Your man (past or current) tried it and hated it. There's no point in trying again.

I shall deal with these problems one by one, in numbered order.

1. You can't respect a man who wants to be dominated. Somewhere inside, you secretly
cherish the image of the macho male so celebrated by our patriarchal culture. I could simply
dismiss this as an individual aberration (if you haven't noticed that Rambo is a homicidal
maniac and an asshole to boot, you're hopeless), except that this widespread attitude must be
demolished. Otherwise, strong and healthy Women may find themselves wondering uneasily if
their submissive males aren't, well, a little unmanly. Nothing could be further from the truth!

First, let's take a look -at the Rambo model of masculinity. (I could evince a dozen other actors
who have made this disgusting creature their specialty, but why advertise them?) His best
points are physical strength and willingness to defend his family or his honor (usually the
latter). His worst points are a deranged predilection for violence, unveiled hatred and contempt
for Women, unwillingness to listen to reason, and total emotional isolation except for an
occasional Female bedmate (who is killed off by the end of the film) and his male buddy (and
God knows they scarcely share much real feeling, unless committing mass murder together
can be called a sharing experience). He doesn't think, read, feel, or talk. He kills. His only
emotion is rage, and all too often that rage is turned against Women, who in these films are
always either pure good passive Females (almost invariably victims) or slaughterer bitches.
Is that real manliness? Do you want your sons growing up to behave like that?

A submissive male, on the other hand, serves, honors, and respects Women. He can feel; the
whole point of the fantasy is often to provide an outlet for emotions our society has defined as
forbidden to men. His deep emotional connection to his Mistress enables them to share the
fantasy.
But is he strong? Absolutely. He would lay down his life for his Mistress. And he's likely,
statistically speaking, to be a high-earning professional, an intellectual, a powerful man with a
responsible job. A man who needs the release of letting someone else decide and choose for
once; a man who understands that his Feminine side, crushed by the ceaseless demands of
his work, must find some expression in his life.

The modern ideal of manhood is based on the machine. No, not just any machine, a machine
gun. The submissive male's ideal of manhood is the medieval ideal, a man sworn to serve and
protect an all-powerful Lady; he is proud to wear her favor, to show the world the Woman to
whom he owes allegiance, love, and service. Though he can fight, he can also love. He is not
ashamed of his emotions or his spirituality. He is both a poet and a knight; a complete human
being. And he longs with all his heart to serve his Mistress.
Which man is more worth your respect?

2. You don't believe any men actually want to be dominated. Just look in the classifieds of any
alternative newspaper. They're begging for it A man may be too shy to tell you his fantasies on
the first date, but just you suggest it and see how fast he'll jump at the chance.

3. You're afraid the real experience won't measure up to your fantasies. Possibly it won't at
first. Developing a shared fantasy takes time and trust. Follow the detailed instructions given in
subsequent chapters, and you'll have both a healthy relationship and a satisfying role as
Mistress. After you've grown used to actually commanding a male, mere fantasy Rule will
forever seem flat and pallid to you.

4. You're afraid that you would or could seriously hurt your submissive male. There are really
two issues here: Could you hurt him? and Would you hurt him? Could you hurt him? It is
possible, but get given detailed instructions (for example, the ones in this book) and a
reasonable amount of care, serious harm is exceedingly unlikely. Ever a severe spanking won't
kill him. But you may have a deep, hidden fear of the harm a Girl can do to a boy. Did your
parents ever warn you against harming men? Try to bring these issues to the surface and deal
with them before you set up your first scene.
Would you hurt him? That's another question entirely. Look inside yourself. If you do wish to
hurt a man, please see a therapist and get rid of your rage before you try to act out your
fantasies. I am not answerable for the consequences if you don't listen to this warning.

5. You don't believe that it's morally right for women to dominate men. Your moral beliefs are
between you and God. But if you are open to argument, please read the section of this chapter
entitled "A Defense of Female Domination."

6. Your man (past or current) tried it and hated it. There's no point in trying again. Yes, there is.
Especially if the man who hated it is no longer your partner. If your current man tried and
disliked the experience, try talking with him about it. What was the problem? Was he
uncomfortable with the intensity of his emotions? Did it evoke childhood feelings of
helplessness or pain? Did he feel rushed into too deep a servitude? Did he feel uncomfortable
using the safe-word? Was there a specific act that bothered him? Would something else work
better?

If discussions go nowhere (he won't talk or won't say more than that he hated it), maybe you
do have to choose between acting out your fantasies or staying with your current partner. But
more often, you'll find that he liked it, but it went on too long, or something you said reminded
him of his mother (a sure passion-killer), or he simply felt silly wearing high heels and would
have preferred to be tied up.
With time, a guilty Dominatrix can relax and enjoy enacting her most secret fantasies. You
already possess the most important quality needed for a Mistress: the willingness to rule. Once
you actually take charge, you (and the submissive males in your life) will have a wonderful time.

The Unwilling Dominatrix

The truly unwilling Dominatrix has no fantasies of controlling males. She may just be
uninterested in playing games with the balance of power in her relationships; she herself may
be submissive; or she may be revolted by the idea of hurting someone.

These three types - the Bored, the Submissive, and the Terrified - all deserve individual
consideration.

-The Bored. If you are not interested in Female Domination, and several attempts have failed
to arouse any spark of desire, try reading the rest of the
book. You may simply never have found the right scenario. If nothing here appeals t9 you, it's
probably safe to say that you are not and will never be a Mistress. No matter how fascinating
others find the subject, you cannot be talked into Female Domination. Try another fantasy. You
can be a sexually powerful, loving, strong woman without doing FemDomme.

-The Submissive. If you are a submissive yourself, you understand the joys of being
Dominated, punished, and consoled. Consequently you may feel that the place over the knee
is rightfully (and delightfully) yours. However, some of the best Dommes I know started out as
submissives who widened their repertoire. Best of all, you don't have to give up the joys of
submission in order to enjoy Dominance. As a switch, you automatically double your chances
for a date at any play party, and you get the best of both worlds.
It's worth trying the Dominant role a few times to see if you enjoy it. You may prefer to have
different partners for each role - one person to Domme you, another to sub to you - or you may
enjoy switching with your primary partner.
If you yourself cannot do it, but the idea intrigues you, make up a wicked sister and step into
her Dominant personality. Use your imagination to create a world in which you are the cruel
Mistress and your partner is me infinitely punishable bad boy or sissy maid or whatever his
specific fantasy is. If he is at all fair (and he should be), your mate will reciprocate with an
evening of whatever kinky activities you crave.
Of course, you may find that you are a hard-wired submissive with no Dominant tendencies -
but at least you've tried.

-The Terrified. If you are terrified or revolted at the thought of Female Domination, you may be
facing one of two problems. (Maybe both.) Perhaps you believe that any Dominance play is
sick, that it leads to the devaluation of Women or to real rape, mayhem, and murder, and that
anyone who tries it is well on the way to becoming America's next serial killer. Or you may hold
more tolerant opinions of Dominance play in general, but the idea of your taking part deeply
distresses you. These two attitudes might be called the Political and the Personal.

Political Terror. Dominance play can be a difficult problem for a committed Feminist. (As a
committed feminist myself, I should know.) I refuse to toss around sneering terms like "political
correctness"; I respect your stand, though I disagree with it. But I would like to point out that
power is ineradicable in people's lives, and that playing conscious games with it is far healthier
than allowing it to remain potent and unexamined, causing problems behind the scenes. Aside
from the usefulness of Women trying on the role of Tyrant, all consensual Dominance play
teaches the shared, symbiotic use of power. Consent works both ways. Just as not all
intercourse is rape, not all power games are evil manipulations.

Your objection could be more psychological: you may reject Dominance play because you are
disgusted and frightened by the horrors of non-consensual sadomasochism. You are right to
fear the psychotic few. Bur the link between consensual fantasy and violent crime doesn't hold.
People who engage in Dominance play or even in Dominance fantasy rarely commit sex
crimes; most of them refuse even to hit their children, an act strongly endorsed by traditional
culture. The two types of Dominance are totally different, not just in degree but in kind. I like to
drive fast, but I'm no carjacker. I break the driving laws when I go over 65 mph, and so does
carjacker when he steals a Mercedes at gunpoint, but I don't think the two acts are
comparable, or that driving too fast in my elderly station wagon will make me steal somebody's
sports car. Or, to put it in other terms, somebody who enjoys a rare steak isn't necessarily a
cannibal.

Doesn't consensual Dominance play lead to harder stuff? (Shades of Reefer Madness.) No. In
fact, if Jung is to be trusted, people who are aware and accepting of their forbidden desires
(the Shadow) are far less likely to have them erupt in a way that could devastate themselves
and everyone around them. Anyone mentally healthy and aware enough to deal with
Dominance fantasies in a consensual relationship is exceedingly unlikely to go on to
non-consensual activities.
There is a further logic problem to assuming that Dominance games lead to dreadful results.
Don't fall into the trap of Krafft-Ebing, the Victorian psychologist who wrote the seminal work on
sexual deviance, Psychopathia Sexualis. His case histories (which range from necrophiliacs to
a man who had sex with a chicken) all gleefully note that, without exception, these perverts
had been known to masturbate. Therefore masturbation caused their sick behavior.
Unfortunately for the good doctor, almost everybody else masturbates, too, and few of us have
been known to ravish domestic fowl, much less dig up graves. That's like saying that breathing
air causes death, because all people who die have breathed air.

Personal Terror. If you are seriously distressed at the thought of Female Domination, you may
be dealing with deeper issues than who gets tied up tonight. I will gently explore these issues,
and then, as always, I will recommend that you discuss them with a competent therapist.
Perhaps that sounds comic, but I mean it seriously. If you are absolutely psychologically
unable to take charge sexually, whether during intercourse or only in fantasy play, you have
unnecessarily limited your range of expression. A therapist can help you find out why and help
you free yourself from your fears and inhibitions.

The intense distress you feel at being asked to Dominate a man may even be cognitive
dissonance: the clash of conflicting identities. Reared to be passive and accommodating to
males, you are faced with an impossible situation: to accommodate the man you love, you
must cease to be passive. This is a classic double bind; you cannot with any comfort or peace
choose either alternative. Consequently, you are miserable. When you realize that he is
miserable too, you may feel even worse. How can you make a fuss over such a small thing?
It is not a small thing, I assure you. The ordinary sex-stereotyping of our society is destructive
enough; it makes Women who are strong or fat or smart or otherwise "different" feel like filthy,
unlovable monsters, crimes against nature. (I will say that the Female Dominance culture is
generally very accepting of such departures from the weak, thin, dumb blond who is
apparently the belle ideal of our culture.) Adding Female Dominance to the list may make you
feel like a total freak.

Worse yet, you may have suffered additional experiences that sensitized you to the problem.
For example, if you were reared with a violent father, as I was, ordering a man to do your
bidding may be completely beyond you. You've learned to lie low, lest your abusive father
destroy you. Any attempt to repress your feelings and force your way through the situation may
result in serious psychological harm. Yes, at some point you must confront your terror and
realize that your taking command, even in play, will not result in your instant destruction, but I
beg that you will do so only in the care of a qualified counselor. This took me years of therapy,
but the pain was well worth it, because I was able to reclaim my power not just in the sexual
arena but in all the other areas of life where I had been hiding from my own strength.

Some Women reared in such dreadful family situations may not be passive, but may espouse
egalitarianism with a zeal that makes Female Dominance - or any Dominance - psychologically
impossible. If you are one of them, you will not serve, but you will not Rule, either. Power
belongs to the cruel parent, and with a fierce-pride you refuse to touch it. Your own carefully
built self-image would shatter if you did, for you would be forced to see that you are like the
monster who made your early life a misery.

Neither of these attitudes is especially healthy, though God knows they are understandable.
Power in itself is not evil, and the playful exchange of power between consenting adults is a far
cry from the thuggish brutality of an abusive adult terrorizing a helpless child. With professional
help you can reclaim the strength in yourself that your mate sees and desires, and learn to
exercise the Rule you were born for.

3

FINDING (OR CREATING)
A Submissive Male

"Attempt the end, and never stand to doubt; Nothings so hard but that search will find it out. " -
Robert Herrick, "Seek and Find"

Inaugurating a lifetime of blissful Female Domination may be as simple as taking command
one night in bed. Or it could be as time-consuming as placing a classified ad in the local
alternative newspaper, screening your respondents, and choosing one for the honor of being
your sissy maid. In ordinary circumstances, however, the process is laughably easy, once
you've accepted your Dominant nature. (This chapter may be skipped by Mistresses who
already possess a submissive male. You should proceed to Chapter 4, even if you've already
begun to Rule him.)

Retraining Your Partner

The easiest way to find a male to Rule is to look in your own bed. As Dorothy so sagely
observed, the best place to search for what you want is usually your own back yard. If you
have Dominant stirrings, your partner has probably already responded to them, albeit
unconsciously. In fact, he may have been attracted to-you precisely because you are a
Dominatrix.

In the days before I was conscious of my own Dominant desires, I was puzzled and amazed by
the numbers of males who hinted to me that they sought to submit themselves completely to a
Woman. I didn't even pick up all the hints at the time; many became clear only after I became a
practicing Mistress. Yet I was giving off all the signals proper to Dominant Women: I was
strong, sexual, confident, and perfectly willing to rub a male's nose in the dirt, at least during
intellectual debates.

But even I, who was glad to demolish a male's intellectual pretensions with a single scorching
phrase, needed to overcome a certain learned passiveness. Sexually and intellectually I was a
tigress, but all too often during relationships I became a kitten, which was disappointing to
males and damaging to me. Despite my natural sexual aggressiveness, taking that next step
was a huge hurdle. Let me make it easier for you, dear Reader. I will tell you exactly how to
teach your partner to accept Female Domination. (I presume you have already accepted it in
yourself. If not, go back to Chapter 2.)

Easing Him Into It. You may wish to start him out gently, if you've been a passive partner so
far. Start by taking command in bed. Don't just lie there and wait for him to touch you. Touch
him. Pinch his nipples: most submissive males respond strongly to this, though some hate it (in
which case it makes an excellent punishment). Stroke and knead his buttocks. Ask him to go
down on you. Then, when you are ready for intercourse, get on top of him.
If he responds badly to all this energy on your part, you may have a problem. Possibly he is a
Dom, in which case you need to talk. Or perhaps he is not a Dom, but just a jerk. Is he
domineering and inflexible in other aspects of your life together? Is he intensely jealous and
possessive of you? Does he take offense at your independence or your opinions? is he touchy
about his male pride? Maybe you should get a new man. Even if you're willing to keep Female
Dominance no more than a private fantasy, consider dumping this guy. He could be
dangerous. Even if he isn't, life is too short to waste on a macho jerk.

Most males, on the other hand, are thrilled when a Woman takes the sexual initiative. While
sharing the afterglow, tell him how much you enjoyed taking charge. Ask him if he's ever
fantasized about being dominated by a Lady. If he says yes or maybe, you are home free.
Propose a fantasy session in the near future and skip to Chapters 5 and 6 to get full
instructions on preparing the scenario.
Even if he doesn't admit to fantasizing about serving a harsh Mistress, he may be intrigued by
the idea. Find out what his sexual fantasies are and try to blend them into a Dominance
scenario.

For example, if he loves cunnilingus and can't get enough of it, suggest a scene in which
worshiping at your Shrine is a reward for obeying you for an hour. Start him out on light
obedience: hand-washing your panties, perhaps giving you a bath and then rubbing you all
over with warmed lotion. If that idea arouses him (and if he's human, it should), act out the
scene, remembering always to stay in command! You might slap his buttocks lightly for a
fancied mishandling of your panties, but don't do a full-fledged spanking if he doesn't respond
Then allow him to offer you the oral servitude that is his reward. Once you've had as many
orgasms as you please, allow him to come by masturbating with a pair of your panties, the
silkier the better. Resist the temptation to push the scenario too far into heavy obedience or
serious punishment. If he enjoys a pleasant first time, he will be hooked, and you will be well
on your way to total control of a male.

If he isn't willing to try even such a simple scenario, you must not give up hope. Steer him
toward catalogs, stores, and fiction that emphasize Female Rule. Only when he has made it
clear that he isn't interested and never will be should you abandon hope.
The Deep End. If you've always been sexually aggressive with your partner, or if you've
already tried out various fantasies together, your best bet might be to spring Female Rule on
him. Plan the first scenario (using the instructions in Chapter 5 and 6) for a weekend when you
both have time for lengthy sex play.

This technique is more likely to fail when your male is under serious stress, so a weekend or
vacation is the best time.
Then send him out for the newspaper and, when he returns, take over. You should already
know him well enough to guess whether he would be more responsive to a Victorian
Governess-scolding him for disobedience and promising him a thorough caning, or a leather clad
Amazon threatening to tie him to the bed add use him sexually, or an imperious Queen
demanding instant maid service. Tell him the safe-word and then enjoy.
Afterward, discuss the details of the experience, your reactions, and his reactions, and make
plans for another session. You're on your way to a zesty and satisfying life as a Female Tyrant.

Finding a Submissive Male

If you're currently between men, or you've decided to ditch your uncooperative partner, there
are several ways to find a submissive. These suggestions also work well if you prefer not to be
involved in a romantic relationship with your submissive, but simply want male maid service or
submission.

Wanted: Sissy Maid for Dominant Vixen. One place to look for a partner in Dominance / submission games is the classified ads of your local alternative newspaper.
Free weeklies such as the City Paper (published in Chicago, Philadelphia, Baltimore, and other
cities) or unconventional newspapers such as the Village Voice offer reasonable ad rates;
many have special sections for people looking for unusual sexual activities. Most even offer
voice mail.

If you live in an area that doesn't support an alternative newspaper, you may still be able to
use a classified ad. The specialized publications that cater to Dominant Women and their
partners offer classified ad sections with national distribution. Sometimes Women's ads are
published for free in these publications, as long as you include a photograph of yourself. Many
of the picture ads in these magazines are those of professional Mistresses, however. If you are
an amateur Dominatrix seeking a continuing relationship, your ad may be misread. It's
probably advisable to stick with the newsletters that feature word-only descriptions; they are
aimed at a different audience.

You may choose to answer a man's ad, place your own, or do both. If you answer the ad of a
submissive male, make sure your reply is not a supplication but a firm, even stern statement of
your needs and desires. Do not permit him to to boss you; many submissives test the
prospective Mistress to see if she is really in charge. Stay in command!
Your own ad should be clear and authoritative, as befits a Dominatrix. Make it clear what you
expect from the submissive: service only, a romantic relationship with full-time Dominance, or
a romantic relationship with occasional sessions of discipline or maid service.
Many males ask to see a photograph with your reply, since they too often judge Women with
their eyes only. You may choose to provide a standard photo or have a friend take specialized
pictures of you in Mistress garb. (Use a Polaroid or digital camera, and black out your
identifying features at first.) Or you may, quite rightly, refuse to provide any picture at all until
you've established a rapport with the submissive. Remember, you are in charge. He is
supplicating you for your favors. There are many more submissive males than Dominant
Females, and they have to compete for our attention. (A great change from the meat-market
singles-bar scene!)

If you do advertise or answer ads, follow some elementary safety tips when you respond to
letters or messages. Correspond with the man or men for a while before you meet. Get to
know more about the submissive than his fantasies. Is he someone you would be interested in
dating, -even if you weren't going to Dominate him? Does he sound sincere? Does he have
any weird or dangerous ideas? What is his romantic history? His job history? Is he married?
When you do decide to set up a meeting, don't try to start off with a scene.

Meet him for lunch in a public place to see if he is clean, attractive, tolerable. Tell a friend where you will be and with whom, and have a safe call set up, so she will call the cops unless
you contact her at a specified time. Let him know he is on probation; you have other males
applying for the position of sissy maid (or naughty schoolboy, or whatever), and you must
interview all of them before you choose whom to honor with your Rule. Resist any pressure to
go off with him right away; waiting sharpens desire. (Anyway, you are in charge, not him.) And
get HIV tests before you even consider swapping any bodily fluids. Yes, I realize that you must
wait six months for a clean test, but you don't want to die for a fantasy, do you?

Furthermore, sharing a satisfying Dominance scene absolutely requires knowledge of each
other, knowledge not easily or quickly gained. You have to develop a rapport, a trust in one
another. Two strangers trying to play out a fantasy together is just too pitiful and too
unsatisfying for you, a Mistress, to endure. The one-night stand is for lesser Women who have
not yet realized that they control their own sexual destiny, who fear (poor deluded Girls) that
the male will vanish like smoke if he isn't instantly sated. As a Dominatrix, you know better than
that.

Clubs and Social Groups. Another way to meet submissive males is through specialized
social groups and clubs. If you wanted to meet a stamp collector, you would join the local
philatelic society. If you want to meet a submissive male, join a group like PEP (People
Exchanging Power), the Connecticut Leatherfolk, The Eulenspiegel Society, Black Rose, the
Society of Janus, or your local group. They advertise in alternative papers and in the national
newsletters for Dominant Women.
Although many groups accept only couples and single Women, usually the members know
unattached submissive males who are clean, presentable, and disease-free. A personal
recommendation is often the best way to meet a submissive. Furthermore, these groups can
give you fresh ideas, emotional support, and an active social life. Even if you already possess
a submissive, you might want to look them up.

Meeting Online. There are now so many websites, chat rooms, IRC channels, and forums
devoted to various forms of BDSM that I cannot possibly list them all. My favorite is still and
always the Adult Sexuality forum of CompuServe (GO HSX200), which offers a special section
just for power exchange. The local style is definitely reflective and intellectual, rather than
fantasy-based, but I know of more than a dozen marriages and five times that many serious,-
lasting relationships that started in HSX.

There are several potential pitfalls to meeting online. First, you may not know if your potential
partner is telling the truth about his age, sex, marital status, looks, interests, level of experience, intentions, or anything else. If you do become interested in someone online, insist
on taking plenty of time to get to know each other, talk on the phone as well as online, and ask
for references from other people who have met him in 3D.

Second, online communication can be so intimate that it moves much faster than other forms
of romance. It's easy to fall in love with someone who seems to echo your every thought, but
that, in fact, is a clue that he's necessarily telling the truth. Even if he is everything he claims to
be, miscommunication and unspoken assumptions can wreck a romance. When all see of
one another is bare sentences, it's easy to fill in the background with what you want most,
rather than dull old reality. Talk about everything that's important to you, not just your own
developing passion. That's the way to keep things in perspective.

Third, he may be interested in hot chat or phone sex but not in a 3D relationship, or vice versa.
Figure out what you want and make that clear up front.. It's a waste of time and emotional
energy to try cyber Dommeing someone in hopes that you will someday meet, when he has no
desire or expectation of taking the relationship past the screen. Likewise, if he wants a
marriage to a Domme, and you want a stable of cybersubs to share hot fantasies, he's going to
feel used and exploited if you don't make your intentions clear.

I've been burned myself in romance and friendship online by people who were insincere or
exploitive. If he insists on-keeping your relationship a secret, there is a reason. He may be
sweet-talking you in one window while he woos the next victim in another.
I don't want to quench your enthusiasm for cyber, but it's a fast car on a very curvy road, and it
needs a lot of skill and attention to control. Cyberscenes can be incredibly hot, and most of my
best friends were met online. The information, support, friendship, and yes, romantic
possibilities offered by online communication mean that everyone can have access to great
kinky ideas - not just the lucky few who live in San Francisco or New York City.

4

MAINTAINING YOUR RELATIONSHIP:
Balancing Fantasy and Reality

"Marriage is a noble daring. " - Dryden

The better your relationship before you try Female Dominance, the less likely you are to
encounter problems after you first exercise your right to Rule. Nevertheless, any change in a
relationship requires a period of adjustment, and beginning to play out sexual fantasies is no
exception. This chapter will help you and your partner to adapt to the changes, avoid the
pitfalls, and savor the benefits of a Feminine Regime.

Personality Changes and Potential Bad Reactions

Female Dominance may change you - and him - in unexpected ways.
Although most of the changes will probably be positive, you could also encounter a problem or
two.
It may seem that undue stress has been put on various psychological problems in the pages
that follow; these warnings are not a sign that every couple who tries Female Domination is a
pair of potential crazies, or that everyone who plays with power is secretly mad. However,
Dominance play may remind people of various cultural or personal problems, and I would be
irresponsible if I didn't address those issues. Most of you will experience minor problems, if any
at all.

Your New Power. After you learn to demand, to command, and to control in your fantasy
sessions, you may find yourself becoming more assertive in other situations as well. Especially
if you were timid instead of confident, Girlish instead of Womanly, you may undergo a deep
transformation. Such an increase in power is normal and natural. You have found a new
forcefulness, a new will, in yourself, and you are eager to exercise it. More power to you; the
world needs strong Women. However, your mate, your friends, and your colleagues may have
a hard time dealing with your newly assertive ways. And you may even go a bit overboard at
first, enjoying your new strength without considering how it affects others.

Where you once meekly let others interrupt you, you now speak up. Where you once offered
ideas tentatively, as a question, you now offer decisive pinions backed up by shrewd
arguments. You may hear comments about how much more energetic you seem, how much
more confidence you have. You could attribute your new power to therapy or assertiveness
training, if you like, or you could tell a few chosen friends about your adventures in the art of
Female Dominance. Why not share the pleasure?

However, if you find yourself constantly interrupting others, scorning their ideas, or demanding
service as a right from your colleagues, you may have gone too far. At home you may be
Queen of all you survey, but at work and with friends, you should be a Woman of balance:
strong, thoughtful, considerate, and firm. A Woman inhabits her own space fully but doesn't
seek to conquer others space, any more than she allows others to impose upon her. She
competes passionately - with her eyes on the goal, not with dirty tricks or cheap shots. And
when she wins, she is gracious to those who haven't won.

If you have stepped a trifle beyond the line in your first transports of pleasure, do not blame
yourself unduly. Time and awareness of others will help you grow accustomed to your
Queendom. The giddy sensation of dawning power should settle into a calm self-confidence.
Bad Reactions - His. A man who has always longed to surrender his will to a Dominant
Woman may find himself facing various ambivalent emotions the day after he has actually
done so. Perhaps the session was disappointing. Or he disappointed himself by being able to
endure less pain than he thought he could. Or he thoroughly enjoyed it but now feels less than
manly. Or the session brought up frightening memories or emotions that He must grapple with
or try desperately to repress.

-The Disappointing Session. 

This is probably the most common problem. Especially after years
of fantasy, a real-life scenario can hardly live up to the fabulous intensity of the submissive's
dreams. His fantasies may have ' involved deep humiliation, severe punishment, and slavish
service, but he wanted all those things, done in that precise order and in that exact way. As
abject and helpless as he seemed in those fantasies, they were carefully choreographed to
suit his tastes.

Even the best-planned scenario may not measure up to fantasy. Few sessions are perfect, and
some submissives may feel the whole scene is ruined by a single flaw.
Furthermore, there is an unavoidable distance between fantasy as it is dreamed and fantasy
as it is enacted; they are never the same. In fantasies submissives bear intense pain bravely
while totally under the command of an impossibly Dominant Female. The reality of a sore
bottom and a slightly unsure Mistress - or even one who is confident but simply different than
his dreams - may be a crashing disappointment to him. That gap between dream and reality
can mar even a skilled Mistress's best efforts, especially the first time. This reaction is less and
less common as you go on with Female Domination, as you understand each other's fantasies,
grow accustomed to your new roles, and learn to relax and enjoy the mental dimension of the fantasy as much as the physical intensity.

Reactions to the imperfect session differ, depending on your submissive's temperament. He
may become depressed, feeling he will never find the perfect Mistress. He may blame you for
not living up to his standards, or he may merely feel that your Dominance style doesn't mesh
well with his needs. If he accepts that the first time is never the best, that patience, practice,
and communication can build a very satisfying fantasy fulfillment, then he may be mildly
disappointed but more excited that he has actually enjoyed what he so long desired.
The ideal way for both of you to respond to the disappointing session is to discuss what went
wrong and why. The more you know about one another, the more openly you can discuss the
action and the fantasy, what worked and what didn't, the better suited to one another you will
become.

-The Disappointed Submissive. 
Sometimes the scene will go smoothly, but the submissive will
be disappointed anyway - not in the session but in himself. He may have dreamed of taking
heavy spankings and then found himself hurting and distinctly unaroused. Instead of gaining a
sexual thrill from serving you, he found himself a little bored as he scrubbed out the toilet.
Clearly he hasn't lived up to his own fantasies, or so he thinks.
The real problem here is that the two of you aren't engaging the fantasy intensely enough.
Merely performing the actions appropriate to Dominatrix and slave aren't enough; you must
spice them with fantasy. An inexperienced submissive cannot bear much pain, so you must
make him believe that a very mild castigation is the most intense punishment possible. In the
context of the fantasy, it is. See Chapter 5 for specific recommendations.

-Post-Submission Anxiety. 
You've gone through a very successful session, in which you kept
the whip hand the whole time, forcing him into the submission he longed for, and giving him
(and of course yourself) a spectacular release. Afterwards, he tells you that was the best,
better a thousand times than any fantasy. So why is he anxious, hostile, apologetic, or
depressed the next day?

Post-submission anxiety generally occurs in a man who is secretly ashamed of his submissive
tendencies. He may feel that he has lost or betrayed his manhood by submitting to you. He
may feel sorry that he has "forced" you into doing something he finds shameful, selfish, or low.
He may be feeling a sense of self-disgust that he ever indulged in such practices. He might
even be disgusted with you for participating, or angry, or contemptuous. To some extent, you can soothe his anxieties by encouraging him to discuss them and listening calmly while he does. Offer reassurances appropriate to the situation and his feelings.

Understand that mixed feelings are common about any sexual experience, much less one as
heavily tabooed and emotionally charged as fantasy Dominance play.
Many people involved in power-exchange play have ambivalent feelings about their fantasies
and needs. Our society doesn't offer healthy models of that kind of sexuality. Instead it gives
us the image of the Marquis de Sade or Jeffrey Dahmer for male dominance, and every
crushed. bleeding battered wife ("see, they really enjoy it or they wouldn't stay") for female
submission. And these are considered the natural gender roles!

For those who defy the culture's prescribed gender roles, the situation is even bleaker. We
have no image at all of Female Dominance, unless you count the desexualizing and vicious
attacks on strong women in public life (they're always referred to as ballbusting bitches, and
the remedy for their power is rape; their sexuality is supposed to be expressed entirely by
castrating males). If a man wants to be submissive, he is a pussy-whipped Caspar Milquetoast
and no real man at all. (Real men dominate Women, not submit to them.)

During the heat of fantasy, it's easy to let the inner desire drown the voices of the censorious.
But the next day, the cultural models may come back to haunt you - or him. If your submissive
male feels ambivalent on the morning after, it's only natural. However, if he tries to reassert his
maleness by (literally or metaphorically) pushing you around, stop him immediately. You
cannot get into that kind of game. If necessary, stop playing out your fantasies while you work
out the problem. You may want to see a couples counselor or seek individual therapy to help
you deal with - the anxieties.

- Flashbacks and Bad Memories. 
If anxieties persist, or serious depression results from fantasy play, your submissive may be reliving certain painful memories. Many 'people who are involved in power exchange play had healthy, normal childhoods but became fascinated with the idea of Dominance and submission. 
Others had the kind of nightmare experiences usually
associated with daytime talk-show guests. I am not prepared to discuss whether all Dominance/
submission play is a displacement activity or a Freudian taboo-turn ed-ritual or a working-out of
cultural roles or even a product of reincarnation; we just don't know enough to theorize
effectively, and anyway I am concerned with practice here, not origins. All I can say is that
some people who have Dominance/submission fantasies also have other serious power
issues, and that acting out the fantasies can awaken those issues.

What do you do if-he starts having nightmares, or becomes seriously depressed, or starts
having flashbacks? Stop playing and see a competent therapist. Immediately!
Serious Warning Signs. If he (or you) starts to show any of the signs of serious emotional
disturbance, get help and get it fast. If one of you becomes violent, depressed, or
inappropriately filled with rage; can't stop crying or can't get up to do anything at all; starts
thinking or talking of suicide, get help now. (Although very, very few players ever have such
bad reactions, you have to know what to watch for, just in case.)

Bad Reactions - Yours
Your reactions may be similar to his. You could be disappointed in
the scene or in yourself, or feel anxious over defying the cultural norm. You too could suffer
from flashbacks or other intense emotional reactions.

- The Disappointing Scene and the Disappointed Mistress. 
These two problems go together,
because your identity as a good Mistress is presumably bound up in how well the scene goes.
If it doesn't work out perfectly, you may feel totally responsible. After all, you are in charge. You
planned it, you were the Dominant one, and if you fumbled, or your submissive seemed
disappointed, you may feel like a failure.

If you do, reread the section on his disappointment. Few first (or second, third, twentieth)
scenes go perfectly smoothly. Remember losing your virginity? That too was probably
awkward, painful, embarrassing, or flawed, but that (I hope) didn't stop you from trying again. A
fulfilled sexuality, despite MTV and the advertising industry, isn't readily purchased whole, like
(or in) a tube of toothpaste. You have to work at it. (Pleasant work, but it does take effort,
intimacy, and commitment.) So it isn't necessarily your fault, and you shouldn't give up just
because you forgot how to fasten his bonds or neglected to give him something he wanted.
(And if he never told you he wanted it, that's his fault, not yours.) Keep discussing fantasies,
find out what worked and what didn't, and go on.

What about your own satisfaction? This is, after all, Female Dominance, and if you aren't
getting what you want from a scene, you need to re-evaluate your technique. It helps at first to
have an idea of what you do want from any scene: a sense of freedom and power, or lots of
stroking and orgasms, or a perfect pedicure. I've done plenty of scenes where I didn't see any
orgasms, but I don't always want them. Sometimes I want Domme-gasms - that wonderful rush
of power from being able to express the deepest parts of myself with a willing submissive.

-Post-Dominance Anxiety. 
Whatever your personal situation, you were raised in a culture that
demands that Girls be nice. Dominance isn't nice. Fun, yes. Fulfilling, absolutely. But not nice.
The next day, you may feel apologetic for hurting him or bossing him around. Worse, you may
feel that you've violated who you are. (You may want to reread Chapter 2.) The glimpse of
power you had may be frightening; you could be watching a whole new self coming to birth.
Talk about it. Write a journal about it. Don't just sit and stew, worrying that you're becoming a
monster. In all likelihood, you aren't. But if you have no one to talk to - your submissive may
not want to discuss it, your friends would be horrified - find a support group. You are rebelling
against all sorts of cultural imperatives by becoming a Dominatrix, and you need the support
and help of your Sisters.

Many cities have a chapter of PEP (People Exchanging Power) or local support groups (Black
Rose in Washington, DC, the Society of Janus in San Francisco, and the Eulenspiegel Society
in New York, for example). You may need to travel to find playgroups and support groups; it's
not uncommon for people to drive four or five hours to attend a gathering. I live in an intensely
rural area, but I only have to drive for two hours north or south to find support.
Look for other Mistresses' ads in the local free weekly (professionals' may not be helpful) or
put an ad in yourself, suggesting that you create a Dommes' group for discussion, support,
friendship, and the exchange of evil ideas.

Online forums can give even the most isolated Mistress a chance to make friends with
Dommes from around the world, as well as to meet GuyDoms (who can be incredibly helpful
friends) and subs of both conventional genders. GuyDoms also have to overcome early
training ("Don't hit girls!") and can become solid buddies, even if they do turn green and cross
their legs when you talk about CBT. Subs of whatever gender and orientation can help
convince you that yes, they really do like this! That can be a big help if your sub is not
especially communicative.

I've known at least one Domme whose experiences with her first sub were so difficult that she
thought of giving up. However, when she sought and found support from others, she
discovered that there was nothing wrong with her instincts or actions; she was just sadly
mismatched with her submissive. Dommes tend to eel responsible for everything, and she had
blamed herself.
Or, if you feel you'd like to explore some of these issues in depth, talk to a sympathetic
therapist.

-Flashbacks and Bad Memories. 
If your anxieties persist, or serious depression
(results from fantasy play, you may be reliving certain painful memories. Whatever the facts of
your childhood, you may have come to associate wielding power with a devastating 
indifference toward or even active hatred of the less-powerful person. In your childhood, that
was almost certainly you. To find yourself suddenly in the position of the tormentor can cause
an intolerable psychological shift.

If you feel this way, get help now. Don't just vow to quit Female Dominance; you cannot avoid
the issue of power. At some point you must face it, and better sooner than later.
Serious warning Signs. If you starts to show any of the signs of serious em9tional disturbance,
get help and get it fast. If you become violent,
depressed, or inappropriately filled with rage; can't stop crying or can't get up to do anything at
all; start thinking or talking of suicide, get help now. (Although very, very few players ever have
such bad reactions, you have to know what to watch for, just in case.)

-A Final Note. Despite all the warnings and concerns, I assure you that most people who play
Dominance games are actually happier with each other than couples who cannot share their
deepest needs and desires, whatever they may be. Nevertheless, as a responsible Mistress
and author, I feel I should let you know about some possible items of concern. Even if one or
several of these problems arise between you, you can overcome them if your relationship is
strong. After a brief period of adjustment, you should both become comfortable in the new
roles, whether you play occasionally or all the time.

Changes In Your Relationship
Just as acting out your fantasies may have brought up personal issues of power and
Dominance, it may do so with issues between the two of you. The individual changes are
bound to affect you as a couple. Honest discussion of the issues and your feelings can help
keep your relationship strong; indeed, the intimacy and trust created between you, as well as
your more active role in the relationship, are bound to make the commitment stronger and
deeper than ever before. What follows are a list of suggestions for dealing with Dominance
issues and a list of the benefits Female Dominance can bring to your relationship.

Dealing with Dominance Issues: Some Suggestions
-Keep Dominance in Its Place. Female Dominance is a wonderful game, but it has its limits.
You and your mate must decide what they are. Some couples use it as an occasional spice a
few times a year. Others prefer to play monthly or weekly, while maintaining a vanilla sexual
life or exploring other fantasies (even including male dominance). Many couples enjoy fulltime
Female Dominance, but they are beyond the scope of this book. The two of you should decide
early on approximately how often you want to have scenes and what your signal should be to
communicate that desire.

You must keep Dominance games in their place in another way: never use a discipline session
to work out a problem in your relationship or to take out your anger on your submissive. If you
have a conflict in the relationship, work it out by talking about it. Don't get it mixed up with
sexual games, unless you've already negotiated the right to punish.

-Stay Safe, Sane, and Consensual. The watchword for Dominance/submission play has
always been that it is safe, sane, and consensual. Keep to those principles. Don't take stupid
risks or do things you know are dangerous. Keep other emotional problems out of the
dungeon. And never play unless both participants are willing. Either of you has the right to say
no to Dominance play, just as you may say no to any other sexual contact. And never bring in
unwilling or unwitting partners or witnesses to your games. That's a species of psychological
rape.

-Honor Your Commitment. Always treat one another with respect. Don't mock your partner's
fantasies the day after a session, or tell your best friend about your activities without your
mate's consent. Yes, I've said you should find people you can share your experiences with, but
you must honor the privacy of what you do together. Talk to your mate before you talk to
others.

-Talk. Communication is the key to a good relationship, and you should always be able to
discuss everything together, from the awkward feelings occasionally arising from a scene to
daring new fantasies. The more intimate you become, the better your sessions will be, and
vice versa. In the exhausted, satisfied moments after you've achieved release and ended a
scene, you may tap into deep emotions you've never shared with anyone else. You can share
them now, with your partner.

-Relax. Despite all the warnings, Female Dominance is a game, and a wonderful one. Relax
and enjoy it. Don't expect it to be perfect. Just enjoy the pleasures of command, of stepping
beyond your ordinary boundaries and becoming another person. Your submissive should
relax, too. The scene may not be exactly what he dreamed of, but then, what he wanted was to
lose control, not to keep it. He should let go and feel the intoxicating freedom of utter
submission.

The Benefits of Female Domination

-A Clean House. A recent survey indicated that 61% of Women would rather see a man do
housework than dance naked. They would also rather be married to a Danny DeVito lookalike
who did the dishes than a Robert Redford lookalike who didn't. You can use his fantasies of
submitting to a Female Tyrant not only for mutual sexual satisfaction, but also to keep the
house looking spotless. If you loathe housework and he gets an erotic thrill from running the
vacuum, I'd say you have an ideal partnership.

-A More Equal Relationship. Partly because he's doing some or all of the housework, your
relationship will become more equal when you begin to practice- Feminine Rule. Your new
assertiveness will carry over into other parts of the relationship, and his experiences of being
out of control of his own destiny should help him understand just how hard a Woman's life can
be.

-More Intense Sex. Even an occasional dose of fantasy can serve to keep your sexual flame
burning bright. As a careful, loving Mistress, you'll get to know all the most sensitive spots on
your lover's body, a knowledge you can turn to good use when you're having more
conventional sex. Furthermore, you'll learn to ask for what you want in bed. Sex is always
better between two active, involved partners. Perhaps most important, the two of you will keep
your imaginations active and alive; boredom kills sexual desire faster than anything else
except sheer physical exhaustion.

-Deeper Trust. Rarer than good sex is trust. And once you've shared your innermost fantasies
with someone who helps you act them out, who doesn't mock or recoil or injure you, you know
you have established trust. The shared vulnerability of acting out fantasies can create a
wonderful new intimacy. Nothing can strengthen a relationship like trust.

5

ESTABLISHING YOUR AUTHORITY:
Ways to Make Him Obey

"That not impossible she/Who shall command my heart and me. " Richard Crashaw, "Wishes
to His Supposed Mistress"

Even before you plan and enact the first session, you must understand whence derives the
authority of a Mistress. Establishing that authority is the first thing a Mistress must do; the best scripted session will fail if the submissive cannot believe in and surrender to the Dominion of
his Lady.

What follows is a discussion of half a dozen ways to establish and enforce your authority, even
while you are receiving the shattering pleasure of orgasm. Some are more effective than
others, but when all are used judiciously, in their proper proportion, they will produce a
contented submissive and a fulfilled Dominatrix.

Some of these ideas may seem far-fetched. Nevertheless, ordinary life, with all its worries,
fears, and stresses, has a death grip on most of us. We need all the help we can get to move
into the realm of fantasy. Deliberately choosing to suffer pain and suspense as a path to a
happy conclusion can exorcise the demons of doubt, fear, tension, and misery that most of us
struggle with every day. Changing our names, our clothes, our surroundings, our behavior, can
help us free the repressed inner self. The suggestions below offer ways to break the
stranglehold of reality and move into the glorious, softly lighted, ritualistic domain of our hidden
selves.

The Script

Because Chapter 6 is devoted to the art of planning, structuring, and enacting an effective
discipline scenario, I will not say much about it here, except to remind you that good scripting
is the first essential. A satisfying script will provide both Mistress and slave with a thoroughly
meaningful experience. Remember that it's the story that takes you and your submissive out of
your everyday selves, invests you with almost magical powers, and ultimately provides release.
Every technique I discuss in this chapter is a way to emphasize the story and make it more
vivid, intense, and believable. A hastily sketched, carelessly plotted fantasy is as boring as
most television. If TV effectively relaxed you and your partner, you wouldn't be reading this
book. You need a deeper, more individual ritual than you find in mass media. And books,
wonderful as they are, cannot be shared in the same way. Besides, sometimes you need to
act. Thus the script, the fantasy, and your compelling role as Mistress.

Furthermore, a good script will help you, the Mistress, remember who you are: the Woman in
charge. It also provides us with the useful theatrical metaphor, which so accurately describes
all phases of the Dominance/submission relationship that it might not be a metaphor at all, but
the literal truth.

Pain and Suspense. When most people think of Female Dominance, they think of pain, and
that is a great pity. Although sensation play has its place in a scene, it is not necessarily the
most important element. Suspense, the linchpin of good drama, is far more important, although
it cannot stand alone. Because pain and suspense work together so closely, I have de 'tided to
deal with them as twin aspects of a single topic.

To make any scene work, you must build suspense in your subject. Pain alone, even
humiliation alone, will not produce the tension and then the release he needs. Relying on
physical pain to produce effective subordination (a crude technique at best) ultimately fails,
because you have not made the pain meaningful.

Havelock Ellis, one of the earliest experts in sexual psychology, wrote that suspense, not
suffering, is what the submissive truly desires. For example, a strange Woman walking up to
him and slapping him would scarcely make him feel aroused. The incident might later provide
a basis for fantasies, in which the submissive would construct a story to explain the pain,
thereby adding suspense and significance. In short, it is the plot - the enacted drama - not the
punishment that gives the submissive release.

Controlling a male's body does not suffice to control his mind. Otherwise, he would spend
every minute of his work day thinking of work, every minute at the dinner table thinking of food,
and so on. You should know that even when he is bound to a backboard or forced into ladies'
clothing, you must supply him with fantasies (the script) or his mind will wander. In such
situations, of course, his mind is likely to wander toward fantasy anyway, but they are his
fantasies, which he chooses and controls, and will not be as effective for him and satisfying for
you as the fantasies and ideas you introduce. Even a heavily symbolic punishment, such as
spanking, can be felt as meaningless pain unless accompanied by a compelling fantasy - and
again, yours, if well-chosen and enticingly presented, will work better than his own.

No, the only way to control even the most lamb-like submissive is to control his thoughts.
Suspense is one of your most efficacious tools to command your submissive's wandering
attention. Anyone can inflict pain, but few people can make it erotic and fulfilling. If raw pain
were really what he craved, he could get into bar fights and be equally happy or even happier,
or drive his car into a bridge and suffer for months in a body cast. Neither of these dreadful
ideas (which I sincerely beg you will not consider, even for a moment) is in the least erotic.
Therefore, if you give him a smaller dose of pain, but a greater measure of suspense, he will
obey you more readily and respect you more thoroughly, and you both will be more fulfilled.
Using suspense effectively is the first mark of a top notch Disciplinarian, even one who enacts
the role of Amazon or Governess.

Mystery and Anticipation. Now that suspense has been demonstrated to be vital to the
successful establishment of your authority, you may be asking precisely how you can use
suspense, or even how to create it in the first place.
The two elements of suspense are mystery and anticipation. Although they would seem to be
mutually exclusive, they actually work well together in the hands of a skilled Mistress.
Mystery is based on surprise; the submissive wonders what will happen next, and alternately
hopes and fears ("maybe Mistress won't punish me... but she always does").

Anticipation is based on recognition; the submissive knows exactly what will happen next, and
endures the same vacillation ("maybe it won't hurt so much this time... but last time it did").
The pleasure of the changing seasons is exactly the same mingling of mystery and
anticipation. Each spring is the same, but each is different. We enjoy both recognition and
surprise when the daffodils bloom every year. To make the same three or four fantasies
constantly interesting, you must vary them slightly: enough to be fresh and exciting, not
enough to distort their message. If you fall into a routine with your fantasy script, always
scolding him for the same crime and punishing him in the same way, your submissive will
sense no mystery and feel no anticipation, and will soon grow restless and dissatisfied.

Foster the sense of mystery by doing things slightly differently each time. Tryout new
sensations and new variations on the fantasy. (I provide suggestions for these later in the
book.) If he is never quite sure what will happen next, whatever you do will have extra power.
Add to the mystery by letting him think you plan one particular chastisement and then at the
last minute altering it slightly in duration, instrument, audience, or style. You can also make
mysterious promises or allow him glimpses of a new costume or implement, and then watch
the suspense work in him.

Encourage anticipation by telling him precisely what you plan to do, and then making him wait
for you to do it. Gouging a vassal's readiness to be punished is a delicate matter. You must let
him suffer anticipation long enough to extract all the pain from the waiting but no so long as to
leave him feeling bored and neglected.
Careful attention to maintaining proper suspense means that you will need to inflict less
physical pain. By involving his mind, you create a better scene and earn him a deeper
catharsis.

Inflicting Punishment: Ending the Suspense
The threat of punishment and the suspense of
awaiting punishment are all very well. But at some point, you will have to actually pun11h your
submissive. When you do so, your submissive should feel that the suspense of waiting has
been so dreadful that he could not have borne it for one more second, while still facing the
actual chastisement with fear and trembling. (The techniques of punishment are discussed in
Chapters 7 and 8, with notes in each fantasy chapter for the best use of these methods.)

Nevertheless, the Dominance you show is far more important than the pain you inflict.
Almost all punishment a Mistress inflicts is done with the (implied) consent of the submissive.
To be honest, few Disciplinarian's are muscular enough to enforce their commands on an
unwilling submissive male, at least not without an unbecoming struggle. Most of us rely on
moral authority and the power of Dominance, coupled with occasional bouts of severity.
Thus, establishing your authority over the male is essential. You must make him acknowledge
your command and dread crossing you in any way. Only then will your chastisements be
significant. Although physically he could fight you off and escape the punishment, that choice
must be unthinkable to him. He must be willing to lie over your lap to be spanked, knowing he
could escape but refusing to do so, because escaping would ultimately be more painful than
any whipping, could possibly be. The threat of worse whippings is not enough to produce that
state of mind. Only psychological Dominance can do so.

The Language of Power

From punishment to language seems a strange and unexpected leap, yet one of the Mistress's
strongest tools is language. In a later section, we will consider the use of the voice itself in
establishing your command, but now we are looking at the power of mere vocabulary.

The Dominance Name. The proper choice of words can both express and sustain your power
in the relationship. The simplest demonstration of this great truth is how your submissive
addresses you during a session. I doubt that he calls you Sugar, Toots, or the Old Ball-and-
Chain. Instead he calls you by your Dominance name: Ma'am, Mistress, or perhaps Mistress
Lorelei. Such formality is conducive to discipline and a proper atmosphere of submission.
Some Nursemaids and Governesses like to be addressed as Miss or Mrs. Jones, using their
own last name or one they have chosen for its disciplinary connotations. (Miss Birch is very
popular; so is Miss Marwood, for the great fictional Governess.) Others prefer to be called
Mama or Auntie while they are correcting their charges.

The effect of the change of your name is immense. When your submissive calls) you by your
Dominance name, he must acknowledge your authority and your power. Furthermore, he
realizes that he is not now dealing with his wife or girlfriend, but with a Female Tyrant whom he
must obey or suffer the consequences. The change of identities establishes your influence
during scenes and helps you maintain a healthy relationship the rest of the time.
Not only should you select a Dominance name and strictly enforce its use, you must also
choose a new name to bestow on your submissive. Brook no arguments from him about what
names he likes or wants. You must provide his new identity in order to control him whenever
you invoke it. Addressing him by his submission name is an unmistakable signal that the
Dominance session is about to begin. After some practice, he will slip into obedience and
passivity as soon as you call him by his submission name, just as you will take command
whenever you hear your Dominance name.

What names are effective choices for a submission name? Males who dream of being sissy
maids respond to such frilly Feminine names as Cindy, Yvette, or Bitsy. Males who desire a
Governess or Nursemaid respond best to childhood nicknames especially diminutives (Bobby,
Freddy, Ricky) or during discipline to his full name: "Robert Edward Jones, bend over!"
Other Dominance Names. In the world of childhood, every object is known and named. You
must strive to recreate this atmosphere in your fantasy sessions. Thus you should give
Dominance names to your favorite discipline implements and techniques as well as to your
various body parts.

The names should emphasize female power and harmonize with the submissive's fantasies. A
certain playfulness in naming adds a special fillip to the names. A much-feared paddle might
become Mistress Pattycake. A naughty submissive in need of bondage could be told that he
must spend some time with Mistress Bonnie. The invitation to wear some pretty jewelry could
refer to the attachment of nipple clamps.

Genitalia should also be named, partly because there are few really pleasant or attractive
words in English for them, partly in order to heighten the atmosphere of a secret world. Choose
a powerful and sexy name for your Femaleness. Mistress Gloria or Mistress Victoria are good
names, because they are simultaneously suggestive of the wonders within and easy to slip into
apparently innocent conversations. Tell a submissive, "You need to spend some time with
Vicky, dear,” and he is instantly aware that you are demanding a long session of cunnilingus.
And that's the sort of message you could leave with a secretary without embarrassment to
either her or you.

It is also your duty to rename his genitalia. The name should emphasize his juvenile and
inferior status without being so mocking as to render him impotent. A slightly childish name for
his penis and two alliterative names for his testicles will equip you to tease and torment him to
your heart's content.

Appropriate Set and Props

Setting also contributes a great deal to the effectiveness of the scene. If you have space
enough to set aside a room for play, you may decorate it as fantasy
dictates: as a dungeon, a schoolroom, or a frilly bedroom. Most of us have limited space, but
an ordinary room may be decorated with subtle hints of domestic discipline: with a four-poster
bed, wooden hairbrushes, and attractive ribbon-tied. arrangements of birch branches. If your
submissive desires to be disciplined by a stern schoolmarm, buy an antique school desk to
bend him over, and hang a framed blackboard above the scene for his punishment writings or
to display your written judgment of his naughtiness.

You may also wish to enhance the mood with carefully chosen lighting, music, "incense, or
other sense stimulators. However, do choose carefully. The incense and candles natural to an
Amazon or Goddess fantasy are totally out of place in a schoolroom or nursery setting. Nor
would a sissy maid fit naturally into a black-painted dungeon.
Props, of course, would include all the delightful implements of correction. humiliation, and
restraint, from a leather strap to audiotapes of punishment sessions to the very Victorian
backboard, but these implements vary depending on fantasy, and are discussed under their
individual fantasy headings.

But why should you, the Mistress, trouble to create a particular atmosphere at all, much less
decide whether your male slave would prefer a warm and cozy nursery or a stern prison cell?
Because the point of fantasy is escape, and the emotional release is amplified by taking place
in a congenial setting. Your fantasies will be far more effective if they are enacted in their
proper environment.

Costumes

Extreme care must be taken in the selection of appropriate costumes for Dominatrix and
submissive, for this aspect of the fantasy is almost as crucial to a satisfying session as a
properly chosen method of castigation, especially at first.
It's a vile generalization to assert that men are sexually aroused by what they see, but it's
usually true. Most guysubs have spent years visualizing exactly how the Mistress of their
dreams will dress. If you want a direct grip on his libido, your clothing and makeup can provide
it. Moreover, certain clothes can become a subtle or not-so-subtle signal that it's time to play.
Whether it's that special shade of burgundy lipstick or a particular pair of shoes, your Mistress
garb can arouse you both.

Depending on your comfort and desire and on the chosen fantasy, you may appear in a severe
business suit, in a slip and stockings, or in thigh-high leather boots and matching corset,
though in my experience it's hard to swing a flogger when you're confined that way.
A simple black T-shirt and matching jeans can be as effective a costume as all the leather-andsteel
regalia in the world. You need to decide how much of your submissive's visual sense you
want to please, how much you want to tease. Also, frankly, how much do you enjoy dressing
up? If you love it, you can choose elaborate outfits by fantasy. Or you can relax and say the
hell with it. You're the Domme, remember.

Likewise, the submissive could be wearing anything from nothing at all to diapers. The fantasy
itself usually dictates which types of clothing should be worn. That some change of clothing is
necessary is mandated by the principles we have been using all along. The better the scenesetting,
the better the fantasy.
Every day you judge people by their clothing, so instantaneously that you may not be aware
that you are classifying the people you pass as students, homeless, wealthy, artistic, workingclass,
or computer nerds. You may not always be accurate, but you do read the clothing
messages others offer.

Still doubtful? Consider the effect of uniforms. When a man in a white coat wearing a
stethoscope tells you to undress, you probably do. In the same office, with the same man
dressed as a policeman, making the same request, you would demand his strip-search warrant
and then comply. If a man in a hard hat told you to do so, you would refuse unless he were
your lover. You don't usually ask the man in white to prove he is the doctor whose diplomas
hang on the wall. Instead, the power of the uniform convinces you.

You can take advantage of this effect by dressing in a way that spells power to your
submissive, and for every male that costume is different. Find out his fantasies, look at the
pictures of Dommes that he collects, and you can deduce his internal image of Female
authority. By dressing to invoke that image, you can exert greater power over him with less
effort.

Costume also has an influence, not only on how others see us, but on how we see ourselves.
Your Domination garb should make you feel proud, stern, magnificent. Whether you select
black leather embellished with metal studs or a Lady's riding habit circa 1890, the costume
should mean power to you as well.

Likewise, when you dress a male in Women's clothing, he feels helpless, excited, and
ashamed, all at once. Dressing him as a baby, a schoolboy, or a prisoner will similarly alter the
way he acts. There is also the very practical consequence that a half-naked male or one
dressed in a French maid's uniform cannot very well escape from your control. He would be
too ashamed if someone else saw him dressed as his secret fantasy.
And that fantasy is the real key. If a vassal is dressed properly, his hidden self is both revealed
and defined by his clothing. Costumes remove inhibitions because they change identity. Even
a doctor might hesitate to tell you to undress without her stethoscope and white coat.

Persuasive Acting

Perhaps acting is the wrong word here. But, as I am using a theatrical metaphor throughout
the book, I may as well continue. When I speak of acting, I am not in any way assuming that
you are insincere in your Dominance. I intend acting to signify the techniques an actress uses
to convey a character: voice, gesture, and carriage. A great script if poorly performed may be a
bore. Thus your Dominance cannot be complete unless everything you say and do expresses
it: not just your words but also your voice; not just your actions but your very body language.
You have to live the part.

Tone of Voice. Many Women speak apologetically, in soft, scared little voices more suited to
Girls than grown Women. Learn to speak firmly, sometimes even harshly, to your submissive.
If you have problems, practice using a tape recorder. You'll find it extraordinarily liberating to
use your voice to its fullest potential, to let all your forbidden emotions be revealed in your
voice.
Try varying your tone of voice. Does he respond more to a sweet, mocking tone or to an
abrupt, commanding tone? In all cases, you should speak with assurance and authority. You
will convince both him and yourself that you are in charge.

Gesture and Carriage. 
 Commonly known as body language, gesture and carriage include
such nonverbal communications as eye contact, facial expression, and body stance. The way
you walk, sit, stand, smile, and hold your chin both express and determine whether you are
Dominant or submissive in any situation. The Dominant person maintains eye contact, while
the submissive drops his gaze. The Mistress moves strongly, with free strides and broad
gestures, while the submissive limits the amount of space he takes up. The Dominatrix smiles
rarely, the slave often. The Dominant Woman is free to look where she pleases, while the male
cringes and looks away. The Mistress holds up her head, the submissive hangs his. By moving
with confidence, you can Rule him without a word.

Preparing for the Part

Before a discipline session, you might wish to spend some time getting
yourself into the role of Dominatrix. Review your script, check your implements, and practice
your Mistress voice and carriage. Until you can snap into your Dominant state instantaneously,
with no thought, a little rehearsal is conducive to a smooth-running and successful fantasy.
When you have become a skilled Mistress, you may not need such extensive preparation. But
it is always wise to remember that the Mistress cannot take her authority for granted. You must
earn it with the force and vividness of your fantasies, the effectiveness of your disciplinary
methods, and the compelling power of your personality.

Pleasure

One of the best ways to establish and maintain your authority is by enjoying Domination. When
your submissive sees the pleasure he can give you, he feels happy and grateful and needed;
he wants to give you more. Certainly there are moments when pleasure is inappropriate; some
sub missives never want to see
the Mistress smile. But the vast majority want you to be having a good time, especially when
you are punishing or consoling them. Otherwise he may feel that you don't like Female
Domination and are doing it unwillingly, and therefore that he is secretly directing the action.

Your showing pleasure may entail as little as smiling sternly when you brandish the birch or as
much as multiple orgasms. Show delight in all the various scenes of the fantasy - enjoying his
costume, smiling when you threaten to punish him, and so forth. After all, a happy Mistress
makes a happy slave.
Showing delight, of course, is predicated on your feeling delight. If you're not having a good
time, adjust your scene until you are.

6

ASSERTING YOUR DOMINANCE:
Planning, Structuring, and Enacting Your First Session

"Charisma knows only inner determination and inner restraint.... The charismatic leader gains
and maintains authority solely by proving [her] strength in life. " - Max weber, "Economy and
Society"

Satisfying scenes don't just happen, any more than the plays of Shakespeare just happened.
Great fantasies, like great drama, must be planned, considered, and choreographed before the
performance. Once you know the script by heart and understand the dynamics of the drama,
you may improvise as much as you like. At first, however, it's best to plan - if only so you have
all the toys you want ready to hand, instead of having to rummage through a toy bag looking for
a blindfold.

Naturally, I am in no way suggesting that you must write out every line you plan to speak to
your submissive. A too-rigid style of play is as bad as one that is too loose. I am reminding you
to put some effort into the planning of your sessions, especially the first one. Proper self discipline
in the Mistress shows in a thoroughly and happily disciplined slave. When you take
the trouble to understand tile needs of your submissive, you are doing him the kindest possible
favor. For example, if he needs humiliation and gets mere punishment, he may rebel. No 
Mistress desires an insolent submissive; it reflects so badly upon her governance of him.
Moreover, by planning a script, you are creating a satisfying scene for yourself - a scene you
will find erotic, empowering, joyful, or whatever else you desire. Sometimes it's easy for us to
be so focused on the sub's needs, limits, landmines, fears, experience, and desires that we
forget our own. Yes, you have to take all those factors into account. But your own pleasure
matters too. A good script can help you remember that.

Your fantasy script provides the context that determines the significance of what you do. One
of the major differences between Domestic Discipline and Leather is the overt fantasy
roleplaying of the Domestic Discipline style. Yet even the Leather community has its mythos,
its sense of itself as a group apart, its costumes and props, its private meanings for words like
"sadist" and "slut." In a very real emotional sense, a LeatherDomme may well own her
submissive, but no court in the land would uphold that ownership. It is simultaneously
absolutely true and absolutely untrue - like all myths. And like all myths, this one is designed to
create and express a world.

Determine His Needs

Your first step in planning an effective discipline session is to determine your submissive's
needs. He may not, in fact, need actual discipline (in the sense of physical punishment) as
much as he needs humiliation, subjection, servitude, or feminization.
Find out what he needs by talking to him. Command him to tell you his three favorite fantasies,
and take careful note of any recurring elements. If in each fantasy he is forced to wear ladies'
ruffled panties, you know that lingerie (and probably Feminization or humiliation or both) is an
essential part of his needs.

You might choose to give him a foretaste of your Regime by forcing him into the confession of
his fantasies. Nipple-pinching, an excellent persuader, will leave him panting for a real dose of
your Reign. (Do not permit him to have an orgasm yet, no matter how much he begs for one.
You must control the timing and frequency of his orgasms from now on. Giving in to him only
encourages whining, an unattractive trait.) Analyze his fantasies by comparing them to the five
archetypal Female Dominance scenarios adduced in Chapter 9. Then you will be able to
proceed with self-assurance as well as open curiosity.

If this first scene is meant to be a surprise, get access to his collection of books and
magazines on the subject of Ladies' Rule. If he has a secret stock of implements, better yet.
You should be able to determine from his reading matter and accessories just what sort of
fantasy he cherishes. Canes, hairbrushes, and spanking magazines all point to the Governess
fantasy, while a hidden store of diapers, rattles, and baby bottles infallibly indicates a taste for
the Nursemaid's tender ministrations.

If, after perusal of his favorite reading matter, you still cannot determine his tastes, he may be
an eclectic submissive. In which case, choose your favorite fantasy from among the five
archetypes, and plan your strategy accordingly. You can always take a few moments during
that first session to torment him into confessing his secret desires. By eliciting and fulfilling
them at once, you save energy and provide a little entertainment. I told you it was fun to be a
Mistress, didn't I?

What Do Women Want?

Freud asked this famous question, which in a somewhat twisted way answers itself. Women
want respect - which in this case, means not being lumped together as an alien species
incapable of being understood.
What you want in scene may be anything from a chance to tryout your new bondage skills to
fourteen orgasms in a row. You may just want the thrill of command, sometimes known as a
Domme-gasm. Figure out what you want and plan to get it.

Plan a Pleasing Scenario

The essential principle of the pleasing scenario is drama. The scene should
be crafted like a well-made play. You must provide an effective plot and script; appropriate set,
props, and costumes; and persuasive acting.
Plot and Script. The details of your script should be based on your submissive's known needs
and fantasies - and of course your own. However, almost all Female Dominance fantasies
follow more or less the same pattern. This ritual is the private drama that provides catharsis for
your submissive. It goes like this: You establish your authority; he transgresses; you punish
him; you comfort and/or satisfy him.

-You establish your authority. 
For some males, the first stage is most important; those who
cherish Queen or Goddess fantasies love to stretch out this process. For others, such as
males who prefer the Governess or Nursemaid fantasies, your establishment of authority may
almost be taken for granted. Males with Amazon fantasies may go either way; some enjoy
struggling with a Female who masters them, while others prefer to take the Lady's authority as
read and get on with the second or even third stage.

During this stage, you may set up the fantasy situation (you are a pirate Queen who has
kidnapped him, and you wish to test his strength and stamina before deciding whether to sell
him as a slave or keep him yourself; you are a Governess who Rules her charge with
spankings and humiliation); snap out orders for him to obey; force him to dress, speak, move,
and behave differently (as a sissy maid, a baby, or a schoolboy); deprive him of liberty by
keeping him in bondage; or demand and receive maid service, body worship, oral servitude, or
whatever you like. (Some submissives prefer to be rewarded with body worship and oral
servitude at the end of the discipline session, rather than enjoying it unearned at the beginning.
For more details, see the individual chapters on the five archetypal fantasies.)
This stage is exceedingly gratifying to the Mistress, and may indeed result in a number of
sexual climaxes.

-He transgresses.
 Again, the duration and intensity of this stage vary with the type of fantasy.
Submissives who seek the Governess or Queen archetypes may commit many tiny
transgressions, each with its separate punishment, while those who desire a Goddess,
Amazon, or Nursemaid may not actually commit a crime at all. In those fantasies, the
submissive is punished - or rewarded - with pain at your whim.
If you're playing with the idea of transgression, you must know precisely what infraction you
are punishing him for, in order to scold him most effectively. But you don't actually have to
catch him smoking, for example, to correct him for doing so. For some sub missives, the only
transgression is having been born male instead of being one of the superior sex.

-You punish him. 
This stage is the paramount one for many male submissives. Whether you
spank him over your knee or punish his penis with a wire dog brush, the pain and humiliation
he must undergo is crucial Plan this stage carefully. Know how much pain he can take, what
postures and toys he finds most embarrassing, and what kind of chastisement he needs. Then
go to it with a will.

-You comfort and/or satisfy him
For some submissives, punishment itself (perhaps with
accompanying tears) is the release; for others, the orgasm or consolation following the
punishment is cathartic. Find out early what your submissive wants and needs, and be sure to
supply it!

After enduring the pain, the submissive may feel that he has earned the right to perform some
intimate service for the Mistress: rendering obeisance to the Dominant's Shrine, for example,
or bring permitted to rub her feet and polish her shoes. Take advantage of these tendencies,
and not only because they provide you with pleasure. For some sub missives, these tasks are
essential rewards for having borne your rigorous discipline, bliss after agony. Males with
Queen and Goddess fantasies are most likely to look on the comfort stage as the ultimate
purpose of the discipline session, as opposed to the discipline itself. (See the chapters on
individual fantasies for an explanation of the rewards each type of submissive is seeking.)
It is entirely your choice whether and how your submissive will obtain an orgasm at the end of
the session. An orgasm is almost always the end of the session. Punish him and postpone the
orgasm, and you will find him tractable again. You may, upon practice, to be able to extend the
game indefinitely as long as your male doesn't climax.

Methods of orgasm vary; you may choose to permit your slave to masturbate or give him
satisfaction with your hand, or you may end the session and move on to intercourse. Or for
whatever reasons, neither you nor your sub may have a conventional orgasm. They are not
compulsory.

Assemble Your Equipment

As you know from Chapter 5, setting the scene properly is essential to making a fantasy work.
Once you have decided on a specific script, list all the equipment and clothing you will need to
fulfill that script. Do you need any new items? Or can you use the toys you already have to
fulfill the fantasy?

Buying Female Dominance equipment and clothing can be an erotic experience for both of
you. If you visit stores, you can maintain your Dominance by commanding him to carry the
items you select. (You can also make him wear satin panties or a chastity device beneath his
street clothes, or, if he enjoys full-fledged cross-dressing, make him dress as a Girl.)
If you prefer to shop by mail or Internet, browse the available choices together; while you make
the major decisions, you may allow him to choose a single toy from among, say, three
possibilities you have indicated. Specialty websites and catalogs carry a wonderful range of
implements, from the black leather accouterments of the Amazon to the frilly crinolines suitable
for a sissy maid to canes, birches, and wooden hairbrushes.

If you already have a good many toys to choose from, you may wish to organize them by
number. List each item on a separate 3x5 card, describing the name, size, color, and use of
each toy. Then you can command your submissive to bring you number 34, 12, 17, and 3, and
he will show up with the collar, leash, whip, and gloves you have designated. Some
submissives find this powerfully erotic; fetching the implement of correction makes them shiver
with anticipation. You may prefer to keep the mystery (and the power) by choosing and laying
out the equipment yourself, merely commanding your sub to dress in the garments you have
laid out on the bed and present himself to you immediately, bringing the hairbrush with him.
(That's a command that will strike fear into his heart.)

Few things are as annoying in the midst of an intense session as reaching for an implement
and finding that it's still in the closet, the cellar, or wherever you store your toys. Figure out all
you will need and then make sure it is clean, handy, and ready for use. A disorganized
Mistress loses half her authority.

Give Him Notice

How do you let your submissive know you are planning a scene? For mat matter, how does he
convey the idea mat he needs one? These elementary issues of communication must be
worked out, for many submissives feel resentful if they have to initiate Dominance play, while
Mistresses grow angry when they wish for a scene and their male says no. The better your
communication the rest of me time, the better this will be, but still you should work out a clear
code.

Calling one another by your Dominance or submission name is an open invitation to a session.
Or you could surprise your submissive by letting him come home from work or an errand to
find you in full Dominance garb and his own submission clothing laid out, ready to wear. In
either situation, however, you must always be willing to accept a no from him; he may be sick,
exhausted, or simply not in me mood, and you must respect that. Likewise, he should be able
to understand that you're not always ready to play, any more than you are always ready for sex
or food or any other pleasure. It is no reflection on your Dominance to refuse him now and then.

You could also call him at work and leave a coded message. Even if he isn't in the mood at the
moment he receives your note, anticipation may convert his other emotions into the lust to
submit to you. If you use voice mail or E-mail, make sure the code is unbreakable innocuous.
You don't want his whole law firm to hear or read about his crinoline and sissy panties. If he is
dying for a session, he should be permitted to suggest it to you by the same means, and with
the same caveats.

You might also schedule a regular time - Wednesday nights, for example, or the last weekend
of each month - and always have a session then. The virtue of scheduling is that you both
build up anticipation as the days go on, and you have a chance to plan and set the scene. You
should, if at all possible, refuse other social obligations on your regular date night. (Your
friends mayor may not know precisely what you do on your dates, but they are certain to be
impressed by your steady commitment to one another.) The disadvantage of this approach is
that it doesn't work if either of you must travel unpredictably and alone on business.

The Great Safeword Debate

In giving your submissive notice that you will be disciplining him, you may also wish to remind
him of the safeword. "Red" is good for "stop immediately, I'm in serious trouble"; "yellow" is
often used for "please slow down, I'm starting to
have a problem." The safeword does not mean your sub is giving you orders. He is giving you
information - information you vitally need for a safe, sane, and consensual experience.
The safeword should always, always be instantly respected. If things are too intense, your
submissive must be able to stop them; if you refuse to stop, he will lose his trust in you. And
trust, as we saw back in Chapter 1, is one of the essential elements of successful Dominance/
submission relationships.

A safeword is especially useful in Domestic Discipline situations, where your submissive wants
to be free to struggle, resist, and moan, "No, please, stop!" in the full confidence that you will
override his veto. If you do play this way - in a world where "no" means "more, more" - be sure
you discuss it beforehand, and be prepared to deal with the fallout when you make a mistake.

However, the safeword is not a perfect guarantee that nothing will go wrong. Nor does a
safeword relieve you of the obligation to make sure everything is all right with your submissive.
You need to keep aware of his breathing, the temperature of his hands and feet (if he's in
bondage), the expression on his face, and any other signs of trouble. Safewords fail
sometimes, not because the sub refuses to use them (which is in fact a potential problem), but
because he doesn't know things are going wrong. It's your responsibility to watch everything.
Also, sometimes a submissive is so deeply dived - so intensely involved in the fantasy - that he
can't use the safeword to save his life. Some subs lose the power of speech when they are
dived. Others become psychologically incapable of stopping you. So use a safeword if you feel
more comfortable that way - but remember it is not infallible.

Act Out the Scene

And now, at last, the moment you've both been waiting for. The play itself. Yours may not - will
not - follow this model exactly, but this is a fair representation of the ordinary script. It will at
least set you to thinking how your scene could and should be different.
Act One: Dominatrix in Command. In the opening act, you must establish
your authority. Using costumes, lighting, make-up, voice, and whatever lines are appropriate/to
the role you are playing, you must show your submissive that you are now in charge. (See
Chapter 5 for specific suggestions on establishing your authority.)

He will almost certainly resist, although in some small way that seems apparently helpful and
submissive. He might suggest that you tie him up in a certain way, that you use another
instrument to punish him, or that he wear a specific costume.
Take note of the request for later use, but under no circumstances should you grant it! You
must establish yourself as the protagonist in this little drama. Your ideas, your preferences,
your will, are all that matter now. Tell him so. Remind him that the safeword is "red" or
whatever you have chosen, and that if the scene becomes too intense for him he may always
use it. Unless and until he does, you are quite uninterested in his ideas and preferences. And if
he does not do what you command, immediately, he will endure the consequences of your
displeasure!

I cannot emphasize this point too strongly. If your submissive uses the safeword, by all means
stop. You must; it's part of the contract between you. If he's obviously in trouble, you must
stop. However, your authority is also in the contract, and you must maintain it, no matter what
he does or says (short of the safeword) to test or undermine it. If you fail to assert your power
now, your vassal will feel disappointed. He wants to test your limits and find them strict.

This is the point at which many prospective Mistresses fail. If you are not autocratic enough,
but are too ready to please the male you should be controlling, neither of you will have a
satisfying experience. He will feel cheated, as though he were secretly directing the whole
scene, which is hardly what he desires. And you will feel powerless and angry. You tried to
please him but he wasn't pleased.

Well, don't try to please him. Please yourself. Ultimately both of you will be happier.
Now that you have quelled his first stirrings toward rebellion, don't let the pace down. Hustle
him into the next stage. A scolding, a change of clothes, whatever is the next logical step in the
fantasy you have selected. Keep him moving. Remember the importance of the two kinds of
suspense. Always keep the initiative in your hands.

If, as a Goddess or Queen-style Mistress, you use cunnilingus or another kind of service to
establish your power, this is the moment to demand it. As a Nursemaid, you should be
bundling your charge into his diapers and warning him about the potential consequences of his
temper tantrums. If you are a Governess, you should be preparing your naughty male for the
discipline he richly deserves: sending him to fetch a birch, pulling down his trousers, bending
him over the chair, telling him how much the twigs will sting, and so forth. In an Amazon
fantasy your slave should be bound now, while you begin to taunt and torment him. In all the
fantasies, the stage is set for the second act: the discipline of your submissive male.

Act Two: Punishment. At this point, few submissives are feeling insubordinate. He is unlikely
to defy you openly now (for defiance, after all, recognizes you as an authority with the right to
command him) unless he wants a heavier castigation than he thinks he is likely to get. (Yes,
you should give it to him.) Indeed, the naughty male is more likely to be seized with fright. He
isn't sure he can take the punishment he has invited; he is certain, however, that he doesn't
want to undergo it. He may appeal to you in your everyday persona, asking you not to do this,
begging to end the fantasy. Harden your heart against these touching appeals. Unless he uses
the safeword, he probably isn't serious. And yes, it's a matter of judgment.

Instead, respond in your Mistress persona, sharply commanding him to do as you say. If
necessary, threaten to double his punishment unless he obeys you instantaneously. You may
make various other threats: to reveal his wickedness to others if he doesn't comply, to forbid
him ever to serve you again, or whatever best suits the fantasy.
Physical restraints, common in Amazon and Goddess fantasies, make continuing the scene
easier. In a schoolboy or nursery fantasy, you may seize him by the hair or an ear and bend
him over, punishing any struggles with a smart whack on the bottom. Sissy maids are less
likely to rebel, but they do plead and whine. Simply continue with the planned punishment,
despite tears and moans.

Remember that if he really wanted to end the scene, he would use the safeword. All the pleas
and protests are simply a way to heighten his own arousal and reveal to you your own power:
for, despite his begging, you are indeed going to punish him thoroughly. Once you have him in
punishment position, you should play on his fear. The fear magnifies any punishment you
bestow, making a simple spanking an experience of overwhelming power. Specific
suggestions for dialogue are given in the chapters on individual fantasies.

Act Three: Denouement. Once he has been thoroughly punished, console him. Some
submissive males (sissy maids, slaves of Amazons, and Goddess worshippers) may wish to
be rewarded with a chance to give you pleasure or show their renewed devotion after the pain.
Adult babies and schoolboys may have to spend time in the corner as part of their punishment,
but afterwards they are eager to be petted and consoled, told how well they took their
medicine, and questioned about how they plan to conduct themselves in the future.
Then, at last, the orgasm. The method of administering it depends so much upon the fantasy
that generalizing becomes nearly impossible. Some males may achieve orgasm directly, via
the chastisement; you should nevertheless console them afterward.

After the Scene

Once the scene is over, usually after the submissive has had an orgasm, you need a ritual to
help you revert to your ordinary selves. Cleaning up and putting away the toys, hugging,
perhaps discussing the scene (unless you prefer to wait a while) all can help you make the
transition back to your normal selves. You may choose to playa special piece of music, share a
pot of tea, or take a shower together. You could just be together silently, savoring your
closeness, or you could take advantage of the extraordinary rapport to have a deep
conversation. After a few sessions, you should be able to work out a routine that soothes you
both.

There are a few potential problems immediately after a discipline session. You're both in a
vulnerable state right now, and you need to be considerate of one another. However, you may
find that you always argue, that your submissive starts viciously teasing, or that he icily
withdraws from you. Any of these reactions may mean that one or both of you have problems
dealing with the intimacy. Thus the impulse to shatter it rudely with an argument, a malicious
criticism, or a cold put-down.

It could also indicate a problem with the scene itself, and you should discuss that thoroughly.
Did it bring up old traumas? Does your submissive want a kind of play he isn't getting, or is
getting exactly what he wants so overwhelming that he has to pull back from it? If you
consistently argue after your scenes, consider seeing a couples therapist or stop playing out
fantasies. You don't need to put up with nastiness (and, of course, you shouldn't be dishing it
out, either).
Most couples, however, find that after a discipline session they feel more loving and committed
than ever before. They have gone through an ordeal together, faced parts of themselves that
most people never look at, and have come through with their mutual confidence and
responsibility intact. There is no deeper trust.


7
THE ART OF DISCIPLINE:
Advice, Techniques, and, Implements

"Use every man after his desert, and who should 'scape whipping?" Shakespeare, "Hamlet"

"Discipline," in the context of Domestic Discipline, almost always means spanking. Spankings
may range from childish smacking to intense birching, but all are chastisements inflicted on
the buttocks, and the basic techniques are very similar. This chapter will teach you to choose
and use the type of spanking, the implement, and the necessary force. Much of the advice
here assumes that you are giving spankings in a play punishment context, in conjunction with
role-playing. However, if your sub is eager to enjoy spanking just for the sensation, or if you
would rather dispense with the fiction of discipline, you will find plenty of useful techniques and
ideas.

Although effective spanking is not the only discipline skill a Mistress needs, it is a truly useful
one, applicable to almost every submissive, from the nursemaid's adult infant to the Goddess's
slave. The reasons, rituals, implements, and force may differ, but every variation of the
Dominance experience includes me physic punishment of the submissive.

Basic Spanking Techniques

Where Should I Spank? No, we're not discussing the issue of public humiliation. Hard as it may
seem to believe, we're discussing the proper placement of the spanking blows themselves.
Each individual smack should fall where it will be both safe and erotic. Blows that fall upon
bones, veins, organs, and joints are unerotic as well as dangerous.
Now you may be wondering whether any spot on the human frame is safe for chastisement.
The answer is yes. The safest locations for punishment are also the most erotic location for
punishment: the fleshy lower half of the buttocks, and the upper thighs. (Of course there are
other kinds of punishment than spanking, but they will be dealt with in Chapter 8.) If you have
any other spots in mind, go back and reread "A Necessary Warning" at the beginning of the
book.

The buttocks are truly the dream spot for correction. Fleshy and full and ordinarily hidden, they
are already a subject of no little embarrassment even without the threat of having hem bared
and beaten. Their proximity to a number of forbidden zones helps make them a seat (forgive
the pun) of a sexually charged self-consciousness. The erotic feeling produced by shame is
intensified by physiology: their nerves are intertwined with those of the genitalia. Altogether
they are delightful and yet humiliating, a perfect venue for the mixture of both that makes
Dominance so arousing.

The most forbidden and sensitive part of the bottom is the lower half, where the muscles are
plumpest and the division between them is deepest. The "sweet spot," a spanker's delight, is
the lower central portion of the buttocks, spreading generally from the crest of one nether
cheek to the crest of the next. This spot, situated over and around the cleft, is highly
susceptible to both painful and erotic sensations.
Any blows that land further out, toward the hips, have less impact than those that fall on this
plump, quivering flesh. The spot where the buttocks round in to join the thighs is also
delightfully impressionable. The backs of the thighs themselves must be struck with care;
unless the submissive is unusually plump, bone and veins are often close to the surface here.

Although you need not place every smack in that magic zone, the sweet spot definitely
deserves attention in your chastisements. If you are tempted to whip other spots, reasoning
that your submissive is seeking pain and will appreciate your thoughtfulness, forget it. A
stubbed toe is decidedly painful but not sexy. Raw pain is already too widely available in the
world; a mixture of pleasure and pain, the goal of erotic punishment, is both rare and precious
for the submissive.

The Two Types of Blows

There are two types of spanking blows, sting and thud. Sting is designed to
stimulate the skin, while thud is intended to stimulate the deep muscles of the buttocks. The
difference is partly a result of applied force, partly of implement, partly of aim.

Sting. In a stinging blow, you aim at the skin, using the strength of your forearm only, and you
strike with fingers first or at the same time as the palm. You may splay your fingers to widen
the area of impact. Sting may literally hurt the mistress more than the submissive, so it is better
to apply these blows with the back of a hairbrush or another implement. They are quite
effective without doing deep damage: they sound dramatically loud, rapidly redden the bottom,
provoke wriggling and yelling, and generally give the impression of a severe spanking without
inflicting the pain of one.

The Deep Blow. The deep blow is a different story. You apply it by swinging your arm from the
shoulder, and the palm lands first. Your aim is not the skin, but the deep muscle tissue of the
bottom. You can - and should - swing your whole arm without using your full force. These deep
blows make less noise than the stingers, but they set the cushion of the buttocks quivering with
aftershocks (and soon quivering with pain). Reddening depends upon the individual; a quite
deep spanking may include little color at the time but later show up as an array of bruises or a
very sore bottom. A deep spanking also seems to provoke less wriggling, although yelling,
moaning, and sobbing, even tears, may occur.

These two types of blows may be applied with the hand, the birch, the hairbrush, or any other
spanking implement. Under the individual sections on each implement I explain which type of
blow is more appropriate and how much force should be used.

Pacing the Blows

Now that you know where to place the blows and how to gauge their intensity, you must learn
the next great lesson in giving a truly satisfying spanking: pacing the blows.
All punishment is a balance between intensity and duration. More intense pain should, last less
time; if you want to prolong the punishment, use less intense stimulation. If you start out the
spanking by striking with all your force, your submissive will yell the safeword far sooner, and
you both will end up feeling abused and unsatisfied. The more aroused your submissive is, the
more pain he can take. Just being in the position of punishment, whatever that might be for the
fantasy you share, is probably arousing to him, and if you have followed the instructions given
in Chapters 5 and 6, he is in a considerable state of suspense as well. Nevertheless, start the
spanking slowly. Save some of your strength for later. You'll need it.

Although every submissive differs in what he wants and needs, the following basic principles
may be of some service in helping you administer a thorough licking to your submissive.
Careful attention to these details will enable you to administer a more effective spanking and
allow your submissive to enjoy a longer, more painful chastisement than he thought he could
bear. And yes, the active word is enjoy; a long spanking can be exceedingly fulfilling to the
submissive, bringing him not only physical release but psychological satisfaction as well.

Rhythm. Varying the weight, frequency, and placement of the blows keeps the submissive offguard,
so he cannot blot the pair: from his mind. The first few smacks should be firm and crisp
but not too deep. A few stinging slaps to start bringing up the color is a good idea. Watch his
reactions; when he seems to be getting too satisfied with how well he is taking the punishment,
startle him with a few deeper blows.
You may alternate cheeks, smack up and down the bottom, or follow a more random pattern.
Repeatedly smacking the same spot may result in bruises, and certainly intensifies the pain. A
more widespread coverage, reddening the bottom uniformly, allows you to stretch out the
chastisement without overwhelming the submissive.

Speed. A slow pace is traditionally most appropriate to caning, strapping, switching, and
birching. In these varieties of punishment the miscreant must often count the blows aloud as
they fall. Since each one sears the buttocks with great force, a slow pace allows the
submissive to feel the full, lingering impact of the stripe and let it ebb a little so he can begin to
dread the next one. Of course, you need not let the implement dictate to you; you can perfectly
well tease your sub with light, rapid taps of a cane or switch, followed by slower, more forceful
blows.
On the other hand, a moderate to fast pace is more in keeping with the use of the hairbrush,
the paddle, and the hand. Although the submissive may also have to count these blows, each
one is less intense and should be followed up more rapidly in order to keep the flow of the
punishment going.
A rapid spanking is most appropriate for hand or hairbrush; a quick, impulsive over-the-knee
chastisement of the naughty boy may not last more than a few minutes, but can produce a
stinging, tingling rear end and a better-behaved submissive.

Weight and Timing. As the spanking goes on, you may use heavier and heavier blows. By
now your submissive is growing accustomed to the pain and is probably extremely aroused as
well. Change the ratio of stinging smacks to deep blows to favor the latter. His buttocks should
be brilliantly colored and he should be sobbing or moaning. You may finish the chastisement
with a fast flurry of heavy blows, concentrating on the sweet spot, or (if this is a counted
chastisement, such as birching or caning), continue even more slowly and give the last blow
with extra force.

Intensifying the Punishment

When, how, and where you apply discipline can make a mild spanking seem more severe and
thus more effective. The first principle is: To make a relatively mild spanking seem more
intense, heighten the shame involved.

Fetching the Implement. Before the punishment commences, an implement of some kind
must be fetched to use in the correction. If the miscreant is bound, he obviously cannot be
expected to find and bring you a hairbrush.
However, if at all feasible, you should insist that he fetch the rod with which he will be punished.
Take a strong, disciplinary stance, erect and angry, perhaps with your hands on your hips.
Command your submissive to bring you the hairbrush (or whatever implement you have 
chosen) - immediately! - and wait for him to return, his head hanging in shame and fear as he
hands you the dreaded device.

While your submissive is performing this embarrassing errand, his mind will be possessed by
the thought of the coming punishment, voluptuously dwelling on every excruciating detail of
having his bottom bared; your lecturing him as he lies exposed over your lap? the pain of the
first blows; his fears that he might shame himself still further by wriggling, crying, or trying to
escape the dreadful pain; and the aftermath of corner time, cock torture, or whatever you have
chosen as the ideal way to finish off the discipline. Consequently, by the rime he arrives with
the implement he will be thoroughly psychologically prepared for correction.

Asking for Punishment. This step is not always appropriate, but it can be exceedingly
effective in breaking a defiant slave's will and showing him the wisdom of surrendering to your
superior Authority. As he hands you the rod, he
should say, "Please punish me, Mistress. I know I have been naughty. Please spank [whip,
birch, cane, or whatever] me until my bottom is red and sore, so I won't disobey you ever
again."
Depending on the fantasy archetype you are enacting, you may change the wording to suit
your situation. You may also wish to have him confess his particular crime in this little speech.
However you do it, you should choose one form and stick to it. It will become a ritual as familiar
and shaming as the punishment itself, and add immeasurably to both his suffering and his
sense of security.

If he should refuse to ask for punishment, you must encourage him with a taste of discipline. A
few swipes of the cane or smacks with a hairbrush may make your point. Occasionally your
submissive will resist all the way through a serious chastisement. If he does, you must not let
him off asking for the punishment! He is testing you, and you must make sure that he finds
your Regime as strict and unbending as a solid wooden paddle. If you have to paddle him into
tears before he asks for the punishment, so be it. The only possible exception is if he uses the
safeword. Then you must stop the scene short and discuss what went wrong. But as long as
he doesn't use the safeword, he wants to be overborne.

Clothing and Unclothing. Carefully chosen punishment garb can add deep humiliation to the
sting in a submissive's nether cheeks. Simply taking a submissive over your knee is quite
embarrassing for him; forcing him to wear ruffled sissy panties as well may make even a brief
chastisement well-nigh unbearable. Dressing the submissive like a little boy or in Feminine
clothing adds special shame to the experience of being corrected.
"Baring up" the culprit's bottom is highly recommended. Clothing provides physical protection
from the weight of the blows and psychological protection from the weight of the humiliation.
Pulling down trousers and underclothing can be made a ritual of extreme shame. The slow
revealing of the naked bottom is a sensual pleasure for you, the Mistress, and a slow buildingup
of mingled fear and anticipation for your submissive.

Delaying Tactics. Once those buttocks ate naked, revealing all their plump secrets, you may
not wish to start spanking immediately. The longer the suspense, the deeper your slave's fear
and the more effective the final chastisement. So you may wish to follow several delaying
tactics, once that bottom is bare.
You can arrange the culprit in position, pull down his pants, and then commence a lengthy
lecture on the fresh, pale buns which will so soon be toasted and tingling; linger lovingly over
the sting and fire you will soon be spanking into that bottom, and point out how shameful this
position is, for such a big boy to need such harsh, childish punishment. Dwell on his errors and
the changes you expect to see in him. Remind him of the corner time still ahead, and how his
poor bottom will ache for days. By now he should be writhing in frustration and fear. Tell him
he ought to lie still now; he'll need all his energy to bounce under your stern paddle.

The Well-Prepared Bottom. You may also apply various salves, lotions, and other treatments
to the buttocks. A damp bottom is more sensitive to pain than a dry one. You may choose to
wallop your submissive straight out of the bath or shower, or apply towels wrung out in hot
water to the target area.
Hand lotion, a mixture of glycerin and water, or a thin film of soapy lather also intensify the
sting. You should be lecturing him while you slowly rub the solution onto the bottom.
To punish real naughtiness, rub a stinging salve (Tiger Balm, Heet, or Ben Gay are good
examples; you may also use oil of peppermint) over the affected area before the spanking is to
commence. Then wait several minutes, allowing the slave to develop its characteristic fiery
burn, before you add your own fiery burn. You may also paddle your submissive first and then
prolong the agony with a generous application of these deep-muscle rubs.

Public Punishment. You might consider punishing him before other people, which is a
humiliation deep enough to make the lightest smack resound in your submissive's mind like a
full-fledged whipping. However, this technique should only be performed before people in the
scene who have signified their willingness to witness the chastisement. You violate others'
rights when you expose them to a sexual game they have not consented to. Furthermore, this
technique is potentially explosive: you must discuss it with your slave before you try it.
You can, however, adapt the technique. A surreptitious smack on the
submissive's buttocks, especially if he is wearing submission gear under regular clothes, can
be both discreet and exciting. You may also pretend to be punishing him before others; during
the spanking, tell him who else is present and watching this humiliation.

Talking. This suggestion brings us to one of the great techniques to enhance punishment:
talking. Once your submissive is in the position of punishment, whether bound in place by
physical ties or a healthy fear of your anger, you should begin to talk. Lecture him on how
naughty he has been and remind him of what he has done to deserve your wrath. Describe the
chastisement to come, lacing specific details of the punishment with threats that he will be
getting the spanking of-his life, that his poor naughty bottom will be so sore he won't sit down
for a week, and the like.
The style of it changes with the fantasy, of course; an Amazon taunting her captive might
emphasize the shame of such a strong man being flogged by a woman, while a Nursemaid is
more likely to tell her charge that he is so naughty she simply must spank his wicked little
heinie until it's red and sore.
During the chastisement, you might want to pause and comment on the damage being done.
The heat, color, and welts of the bottom should be emphasized or even exaggerated. You
could ask for confessions of further wrongdoing (which will instantly entail extra punishment) or
inquire whether the submissive is sorry for disobeying you. You might even ask if he has had
enough, and then, when he says yes (as long as he doesn't use the safeword), laugh and tell
him that you will judge when he has been punished enough, and then go on with the
chastisement.

Combined Corrections. One of the best ways to intensify a discipline
session is to combine two or more punishments. You may follow a hand spanking with the use
of one of the inflexible implements (hairbrush or paddle),..or use one of the flexible implements
upon a bottom already prepared by a hand spanking or the use of a hairbrush or paddle.
Warming the bottom thoroughly before using the sterner implements will intensify their sting
and provide a delightful contrast between the broader coverage of hand or hairbrush and the
more focused sensation of strap, switch, or birch. In cases of stubborn and repeated
naughtiness, you may start the session with a hand spanking, move on to hairbrush or paddle,
and crown the whole with a dozen strokes of the birch, switch, or cane.

Kissing the Rod. Whatever implement you choose, do not omit this ceremony! Kissing the
implement that has just reduced him to nursery status and evoked tears, squirms, and other
undignified behavior has the bitterness of utter abjection for the submissive male. But, just as
he must fetch the rod and ask for punishment, he must kiss it afterwards and thank you
sincerely for giving him the correction he needed and deserved.
Once again, choose a form for this ritual and stick with it. Its familiarity will make him feel
comforted and secure, while the repeated words will deepen his humiliation every time he
speaks them, reminding him not only of the current punishment (from which his bottom is still
sore and glowing) but of all the ones that preceded it. He should kiss the rod and say, "Thank
you, Mistress, for spanking [caning, birching, or whatever] me. I know I deserved it, and I'm
sorry you had to punish such a big boy. Please forgive me, and make sure to punish me
whenever you think I need it."
Should he refuse to perform this ceremony, the punishment is clearly not finished, for he has
not surrendered completely to your authority. Return him to punishment position and give him
a further dose until he indicates his willingness to kiss the rod.
"Kissing the rod" might seem impossible in a hand spanking, but it is not You may choose to
have him kiss your hand, or perhaps your cheek or foot, after which he must recite the apology.

Aftermath. After the punishment is over, your task is not done. You may wish to send a
childish submissive td stand in a corner to display his bare, reddened nether cheeks and think
about his crimes. (No rubbing of the affected parts should be permitted.) A sissy maid might be
forced into various embarrassing postures or oral servitude. The slave of an Amazon or
Goddess could stay in bondage or be forced to perform body worship. Once these things are
done, you may forgive your submissive, allow him to have an orgasm, and end the scene.

Using Pain Wisely

The novice Dominatrix, taken in by books, videos, and perhaps other Ladies' bragging, may
feel it incumbent upon her to punish her submissive until he cries real tears. She may lash
away at her bound slave, relishing the delightful exertion of her Authority, without realizing that
he has long since stopped enjoying the punishment. (Of course, he should use the safeword,
but he may not.) Few issues cause so much frustration, blame, and anger.
How does a responsible Mistress maintain strict discipline without inflicting severe
chastisement? What is the line between erotic and discipline spankings? What do those blows
actually feel like? When is enough enough, and how can you tell?

The Psychology of Punishment

By punishing your submissive, you establish and enforce your Authority over both his body and
his mind. During a discipline session, your vassal knows unmistakably that you are in
command and he is subordinate. But even in the midst of actual chastisement, the pain is not
the essential element of your Dominance. Psychological factors far outweigh the sting of even
the severest beating.
For example, a bare-bottomed, over-the-knee spanking derives much of its effectiveness not
from the physical pain involved (which can range from negligible to intense, depending on
duration, implement, and applied force), but from its sheer childishness. It is humiliating to be
so treated, especially if the Mistress emphasizes the bare bottom, the embarrassing posture,
and the naughtiness and immaturity of the howling, kicking male over her lap.

A wise Mistress takes advantage of these psychological factors to intensify and focus the pain
she does inflict. The punishment should be chosen with the culprit in mind. What fantasies
does he indulge in? What most bothers him? How can he be most effectively disciplined?
What treatment does he need now to remind him of your power? Will humiliation add to his
corporeal suffering? Can special clothing, posture, or audience heighten his embarrassment?
These considerations impart an extra sting to the submissive's already humiliating experience,
yet they are truly kind. For without them, the Mistress might need to assert her Authority in far
more severe and excruciating ways. And remember, he needs your ministrations, even the
ones that leave bruises and soreness behind.

Erotic Versus Discipline Spankings. The topic of erotic spankings versus discipline
spankings is a tangled and controversial one. At least in the Domestic Discipline world, erotic
spankings almost-all take place under the guise of discipline, while discipline spankings often
contain a strong flavor of the erotic. Yet the distinction may be crucial to how you deal with the
individual chastisement, not to mention your submissive.

Discussing the issue with your submissive (not during a session, of course) mayor may not be
helpful. A submissive is likely to claim in all honesty that he wants severe discipline spankings,
and in a sense he probably does. He wants to feel as helpless and totally Dominated as a child
being whipped. But he may also want it not to hurt so much that he loses his erection. No
matter what the dialogue, the ostensible reason, the control you have over him, that is the
deciding line. If he wants and needs a discipline spanking - and many sub missives do, at least
occasionally - he must be willing to suffer it without an erection. (Afterwards, of course, he will
probably spring to full and throbbing life, but not during.) Some well-known Mistresses
administer discipline spankings after the submissive has had an orgasm, effectively removing
any erotic element from the punishment.

Discipline spankings tend to be extremely Intense, at least psychologically. The exchange of
power is almost overwhelming. Many couples who do discipline spankings don't use a
safeword, since the point of a discipline spanking is that the Dominant knows what is best for
the submissive and can be trusted to punish without doing lasting harm. To be honest,
discipline spankings tend to be the province of couples who have been involved in the scene a
long time, who have tested their limits together for years. Both may have played with Others
and have a clear and confident understanding of the physiology and psychology of
punishment. In short, this is no game for novices. Work your way up to discipline spankings
gradually.

A good erotic spanking counterfeits the discipline version, while leaving the submissive more
independence. A skillful Mistress can make the illusion seem complete without stirring the
murky psychological depths of true punishment. In both kinds of spanking, the Dominatrix must
constantly and carefully observe her submissive, checking his physical reactions and his
emotional state. But an erotic spanking, painful as it may be, is never too much to bear.

Experiencing a Spanking. No book, movie, fantasy, or friend can tell you what a spanking
feels like. You have to learn the dreads and delights of that practice over someone's knee. All
good Dommes test new implements on their own flesh - swatting a thigh, a calf, a forearm to
feel the weight and character of the toy. But even that won't tell you what a submissive
experiences. In some ways, the best Mistress may be the switch: a Woman who understands
submission as well as Domination because she practices or has practiced both. When she
inflicts a bare-bottom spanking, she knows how the shame and the pain must feel; she has
experienced them. If you have never been a switch, you might consider finding someone to
administer a sound spanking to you, on the principle that experience will teach you far better
than theory ever could just what you are doing (and how to make improve your technique)
when you paddle a submissive's fanny.

You may decide to switch with your submissive, or, if that idea fails to appeal, seek out a
Mistress or male dominant to handle you. Indeed, some experienced Mistresses, committed
believers in Female Rule who would never dream of permitting their submissive to take the
reins for even an hour, regularly schedule time with a fellow Mistress in which they can
balance their power with a dose of submission and punishment. Then, feeling cleansed and
peaceful from the discipline, they return refreshed to the Rule over males that so deeply
satisfies them.

When He's Had Enough. How much punishment is enough? There is no single answer) it
varies with your submissive's tolerance levels, the intensity of the scenario, and the degree to
which he has sinned. Start with less pain; you can always add more as you watch his
reactions. This is one of the issues you must discuss beforehand, but even hours of
conversation will not inform you of his exact need for and tolerance of pain. You must watch
his reactions, remain open to his needs, and control yourself. Going too far may turn him off to
your Rule for good.

Specifically, watch for the following signs that your punishment is working. At the beginning of
the chastisement your submissive may try to be manly, stoic, and silent. He could even be
openly defiant of your authority, saying outrageous things to spur you on. He might wriggle and
try to escape.
You are getting through to him when he starts to make noise. He may plead, moan, or sob
(make crying noises without tears). If he is still struggling with your authority, however, trying to
crawl off your lap or escape the ropes, you should probably keep on. Submission is often
revealed by lying still and accepting the blows. You don't need to push him to the point of tears
to have earned his submission.

Physical signs that the spanking has gone on too long include splotchiness of the buttocks,
then pimpling or blistering. If you keep on striking him after his bottom has started to pimple, he
could start to bleed. That is far too severe a punishment. If you use a cane, a switch, or a
birch, you may have wealing; you could even draw blood if you are not careful with these
precision implements. Most submissives do not need, want, or like to be punished to this
extent.
You and your sub may prefer to end the chastisement before you've done damage that will
mottle his bottom for a week. Remember, the better you are at creating suspense, the less
actual physical pain you need to inflict on your submissive. But won't he be disappointed if he
doesn't get all the pain he wants? Perhaps a little, but if you give him all the drama he needs,
he may not even notice that you didn't push him to his physical limits.

Implements of Correction

Discipline may be administered with a number of implements, some formal, some improvised.
They fall into three categories: the human hand, rigid implements, and flexible implements.
Rigid implements include paddles, hairbrushes, and wooden spoons. Flexible implements
include straps, canes, birches, and the various sorts of whip. Each type has its own etiquette of
use: the rating of severity, the culprit's position, and the fantasies that best display its unique
virtues.

The Human Hand. No other spanking implement offers the range, delicacy, and precision of
this most perfect instrument. Hand and bottom might have been expressly designed for one
another. Furthermore, this instrument, with its echoes of childhood and a Mama's stern
affection, may melt a slave's rebellious heart when a whip or a cane would harden his defiance.
Spankings with the hand may be mild smacking, more notable for the shame they produce
than any excess of pain, or they may be more severe, tiring the Disciplinarienne producing
tears and genuine soreness in the spanked. Because the very nature of the hand makes
permanent damage impossible, as long as it is applied only to the fundament, a physically
severe punishment is less likely to occur when the Mistress uses her hand only. Nevertheless,
the psychological severity of the punishment may be great, especially if the spanking is given
in especially shaming circumstances: in public, for example, or wearing punishment clothing.
Remember, the more humiliating the punishment, the less pain you need to get your point
across.

The very intimacy of the hand spanking - and this is the most intimate of all punishments -
makes for additional shame, yet the closeness of Mistress and male acts paradoxically as a
comfort and a consolation to him, assuring him all through the pain and humiliation that the
chastisement is indeed for his own good, not just a cruel whim of an uncaring Dominatrix, but
the sorrowful correction of an angry but loving Lady. Consequently, the best fantasies for this
practice are the domestic archetypes: the Nursemaid, Governess, and Queen fantasies.
The culprit may be held over the knee, over the lap, or under the Mistress's arm, with the
Mistress standing. Keep one hand firmly on the submissive's back, holding him down, while
you belabor him with the other. One or both the lad's legs may be clamped between your
thighs to prevent escape. You may be seated on a straight chair or, to help spread the
submissive's weight, on the edge of a bed, with the naughty one lying upturned over her lap.
All of these positions present the nether cheeks in a way lusciously inviting to the Mistress's
hand.
More than any other punishment, the pacing and weight of the hand spanking depend on the
situation. What fantasy are you enacting? What crime has the naughty boy committed? How
seriously should he be punished? In general, hand spankings should be paced at a moderate
to quick rate; blows may be light, medium, heavy, or a variety. Spank until your submissive
whimpers or cries, until he shows the deep contrition you expect, or halt the spanking when the
target area is blushing brightly and move on to the hairbrush, the strap, or even the switch.
Few discipline scenes are as heartwarming as the intimate grouping of a Mistress with her
submissive over her knee, getting the fan-tailing he needs and deserves. The rich color
staining his nether cheeks, the flurry of smacks followed by sobs and whimpers, the stern look
on her face and the shamed expression on his-all add up to a magical moment in discipline.

The Hairbrush. The wooden hairbrush is one of the great traditional spanking implements. It
may be purchased from specialty stores, although many bath and body shops now sell fine
wooden brushes sizes ranging from the tiny (for cleansing the face), to the full-size hairbrush,
to lengthy monsters designed for scrubbing the back but useful lower down as well. The weight
and smoothness of the wooden back help make this implement effective, and its size makes it
both portable and easily directed to the most sensitive portions of the masculine buttocks. But
the real mystique of the hairbrush is its Femininity. An implement so intimately connected with
Female rituals of grooming is bound to carry some fascination for submissive males; its
connection to Female rituals of discipline nearly drives them wild.
A hairbrush spanking uses the same positions as the hand spanking and maintains much of
the sweet intimacy that adds such charm to hand spanking. Yet it can be much more severe,
causing bruising if the blows are too vigorous or the punishment goes on too long. A good,
thorough hairbrush spanking may consist of one hundred to two hundred moderate smacks on
the nether cheeks. If you choose to use more force, twenty to fifty may be more than enough.
A light hairbrush spanking may go on almost indefinitely. Remember the rule: All punishment is
a balance between intensity and duration.
The hairbrush is best suited to moderate and severe punishments, because the hard wooden
surface allows you to continue smacking long after your hand would have tired. You may wish
to save it for especially intense sessions or particularly heinous crimes, especially if you are
using it on an adult infant. Schoolboys and sissy maids can take more punishment. The
hairbrush is extraordinarily suitable to the sissy maid: it is one of the few implements that can
be used with painful effect over a pair of ruffled panties without doing them any damage. It also
plays well into the fantasy of a stern Queen punishing a clumsy or insolent servant.

The Wooden Spoon. Although a minor instrument, the wooden spoon deserves at least a
glance before we move on to the rigors of the paddle, the strap, and the switch. The charm of
the spoon, which functions very much like a hairbrush, is its intimacy, its sweet spontaneity,
and its domestic nature. It is an implement seized in the heat of the moment to be used upon
miscreant with no loss of time.
The culprit may be standing, pulled roughly over the Mistress's knee, or tucked under her arm,
and the spoon should be used with great speed and energy.
A wooden spoon may be applied with vigor without producing serious harm because it is
relatively light in weight. It is most suitable for Nursemaid and Governess fantasies.

The Paddle. The heavy paddle of schooldays still has its uses in adult life. It may give a
moderate to severe spanking, either in the relative intimacy of Queen and sissy maid or the
remoteness of Goddess ami votary. The familiar wooden paddle (appropriate for use by
Governesses and sometimes Queens) is widely available through specialty stores and, in
some unenlightened states, teacher supply stores. It may also be purchased quite cheaply as
a souvenir from various tourist destinations, often emblazoned with one of several
embarrassing sayings. The leather paddle (more suitable to sterner Queens, Amazons, and
Goddesses) is always on display at specialty stores and can be mail-ordered.
Whether the Disciplinarienne is a Governess or a Goddess, she forces her submissive into the
same humiliating position to accept this punishment. She bends him over the back of a chair,
with the edge coming just at the level of his hip joints, so his fundament is best displayed. If
necessary or desirable, he could be standing on tiptoe. Or she may bend him in a similar pose
over a desk. Either position tightens the buttocks and makes each smack more painful.
Naturally, the naughty male's buttocks should be bared for this punishment. You should see
precisely what color your paddle is lending those nether cheeks.
You should start a paddling using a moderate pace and a light-to-medium stinging stroke. As
the punishment continues, you may use heavier, deeper strokes; notice as you paddle that
these strokes naturally come more and more slowly. The last few blows should be quite slow
and heavy, although some Mistresses prefer finishing up with a flurry of rapid, stinging smacks
to bring up a fresh, bright color. A dozen smacks should be considered the minimum to bring
the buttocks into a fine, well-spanked glow. More smacks may be administered as I needed, of
course.

The Strap. The leather strap (or strop, or belt) may be a fearsome instrument, but it is
exceedingly useful in the discipline of many types of submissive. No adult infant should be
punished with a strap, but all other submissive males should be made aware that they are
subject to this stern, traditional form of discipline.
Straps are nearly all made of leather; they vary in length, thickness, flexibility, width, and
surface texture. The wider the strap, the more broadly the pain is distributed; the narrow strap
is a severe instrument indeed. Long or flexible straps may be folded to provide extra spring
and force to the blows. Smooth leather is faster and whipper than suede, which clings more to
the I punished buttocks.
Old-fashioned razor strops, which are relatively stiff and thick, provide a high degree of
discipline; they may sometimes be purchased in antique stores or in specialty Victorian
catalogs. Specialty stores sell a wide array of straps, from viciously narrow ones to broad,
studded monsters. (Never use a studded strap for discipline. They may cause injury. Use them
for decoration or bondage only.) The tawse is a thick leather strap cut into two or three fingers
at the business end, giving it truly extraordinary bite. Since it was designed for the naughty
bottoms of Scottish schoolgirls, any male submissive feels especially humiliated by this
"Feminine" implement.

Instead of purchasing a specialty item, you may wish to begin your career as a strapping
Mistress with a visit to a thrift shop, where you are likely to find leather belts of many
interesting lengths, colors, and textures. Look for the braided belts so popular a few years ago;
they are ideal instruments for topping up a strapping with a plain belt. Those last two or three
blows with the braid really give the miscreant something to think about! However, do not
discount the power of a simple leather belt. Its good effects may be viewed for days after the
punishment. Remember to remove the buckle first to prevent any chance of serious injury.
The strap, properly applied, is really more severe than moderate in effect. Although an old fashioned
form of punishment suitable to grown schoolboys, naughty farm lads, and other
domestic fantasies, it is severe and distant enough to be used by a Goddess. As we have
already demonstrated, it comes in enough various forms to satisfy both the high-style Amazon
and the simple country Schoolmarm.
The submissive to be punished may take any of a number of intriguing postures for his
punishment. The classic positions described for a paddling or a hand spanking may be used,
although any strapping done over the knee must be done with a doubled strap. Any bent-over
position - grabbing the ankles, bent over a bathtub after a shower, gripping the far edge of a
desk - is useful., However, the strap is uniquely suited to a posture that rarely works for any
other implement. Bare up the naughty submissive and make him lie face-down across a bed.
Prop up his buttocks with pillows underneath him, so that the target is appetizingly presented
as a high mound. If the submissive is resisting punishment, you may tie his hands and feet to
the bedposts. Then get to work.

Give him a dozen to start with, using a deliberate pace and light to medium blows. The first few
should be stingers aimed at the skin; then move on to deeper smacks, aiming at the fleshy
underbottom. That may very well be plenty of punishment; if not, add a few more until your
submissive has surrendered to the punishment. Be careful of bruising and blistering.
The strap is so severe that it may be used as an extra punishment after a spanking with hand
or hairbrush. In that case, you should definitely announce the number of strokes you plan to
give - six, eight, or twelve - and make your submissive count them aloud as you deliver each
one. Add one extra stroke for losing count, two or more for resistance. Using the strap in
combination is more effective than using it alone; it adds a dreadful dimension to the threat of a
spanking, since the submissive knows if he doesn't take it well, resists, or tries to cover the
target area with his hands, you will not hesitate to bring out the strap and give him a real
walloping. Using the strap alone may make him fear it less.

The Switch. The switch is a pastoral implement available on almost any tree. The most
popular switches are cut from birch (a special case; see below), peach (or other fruit trees),
hickory, and willow. Birch switches, bundled together, make the Queen of all implements, the
birch, but even a single length of birch, stripped of its twigs and leaves, makes a lasting
impression on a naughty backside. Peach-tree switches have the flavor of the Old South,
having been used on naughty Southern lads from colonial times even up to today. However,
even a Yankee Governess may applaud their flexibility and sternness. The hickory switch is
also a traditional favorite, from its toughness and durability; it is an excellent choice for lengthy
punishments. Finally, the willow switch is more like a whip than a switch. Narrow and springy, it
has the same effect as a lash.
The switch may be applied by the Governess, Queen, Amazon, or Goddess, though it is most
used by the Governess and Queen.
Switches must be cut on demand, as they rapidly lose their suppleness and become dry and
brittle. Sending a naughty submissive outside to choose and cut his own switch is an additional
and, humiliating punishment. Make him cut half a dozen, so you may choose the most supple
and strong from among them. You should always have at least one spare, in case the original
breaks.
Position the culprit in one of the traditional bent-over postures: grabbing his ankles or
supported by the back of a chair or a desk. You should stand on his left side (assuming you
are right-handed; on the right if you are a lefty), so that his buttocks are in profile to you, and a
heart-lifting sight they will be, so full, right, and round, and so fair and white before the first
touch of the switch. In a few moments they will be red and stinging, with long slim lines across
to underscore your submissive's naughtiness. You might wish to tell him so before you begin
the chastisement.
Then apply the switch, being careful to watch how the light, flexible ends bite into the further
flank. With practice, you can control the whippiness of the switch, choosing to apply so that it
falls all at once across the bottom, or rolling it a little so that it bites in on the near side first,
then curls into the farther side. Use
a slow pace and a light to medium force, mingling stingers with one or two deeper cuts.
Especially if you have already prepared him with a thorough hand-spanking or hairbrushing, he
will soon be jumping at the thin, intense pain of the stripes across his nether cheeks. Let the
rod do the punishing; you need not back the strokes with the full weight of your arm. Indeed,
some experts advise that you use the arm only from the elbow down.
Make him count the strokes. In most cases, a dozen moderate stripes will do, especially if the
bottom has already been prepared by a good spanking. In severe cases you may give up to
two dozen.
The rural charm of the switch may be best displayed on picnics. In a secluded grove on private
property, have your submissive cut a selection of switches from various trees. The process of
testing them on his bare bottom would be sufficiently exhilarating even indoors, but to do so in
the fresh outdoor air is especially exciting.

The Cane. The cane is superficially similar to the switch; indeed, both are narrow, flexible
wooden rods, and the same positions are used for both. But if the switch is a delightfully
pastoral, American instrument, suitable for spontaneous use alfresco as well as schoolroom
situations, the cane is the most English implement available, with all the formal ceremony that
description entails. The switch is available wherever a tree grows, but the cane must be
purchased from a specialty shop.
Traditional canes are made of flexible rattan or malacca and two to three feet in length. The
longer canes are considerably less easy to control; they tend to cut in, wrapping round the hips
in an undesirable fashion, causing a kind of pain that is not in the least erotic.
Canes made of artificial materials are now available; I have a formidable armory of canes
made from clear lucite, thin whippy delrin, fat thuddy delrin, narrow inflexible carbon fiber, and,
of course, rattan. Thin whippy canes. should be used more like a switch, while fatter, thuddier
canes are much less likely to wrap.
The essence of good caning is control: placing the strokes in precise parallel lines on the
fleshy underbottom. Random strokes lessen the effect. Practice using the cane on a pillow or
sofa until you have it under control.

There are at least two styles of caning: the traditional or English style, which I have seen used
in this country mostly by Domestic Discipline enthusiasts, and the Leather style. Naturally there
are a thousand gradations, but the difference between the two styles is considerable.
-Traditional English Caning. This is a punishment so severe as to be well beyond most subs
limits. The point of the exercise is not a long, slow erotic warming, finishing with intensity. It is
pain pure and simple, and it hurts like hell.
Because of the severity and intensity of the cane, the ritual that leads up to its use is especially
important. You. can only give your submissive six to twelve strokes, so each must carry a great
deal of meaning. Furthermore, the pain is so great that only a well-prepared submissive can
bear it. The Governess most often uses the cane in situations of repeated disobedience;
although the Queen, the Amazon, and Goddess may sometimes use it, it is essentially a
British schoolroom fantasy.

Position the culprit in one of the traditional bent-over postures: grabbing his ankles or
supported by the back of a chair or a desk. You should stand on his left side (assuming you
are right-handed; on the right if you are a lefty), so that his buttocks are in profile to you. Warn
him that he must keep his bottom open and relaxed for every stroke. He must take this
punishment like a man, with no begging or pleading. Announce the number of strokes you
intend to apply: four or six for ordinary offenses; with perhaps one extra if he loses count and
another extra for clenching the buttocks.
Swinging from the shoulder or the elbow, wallop his ass hard with the cane, leaving thirty to
sixty seconds between counted strokes. Wrapping is expected and unavoidable. If done by an
expert, this apparently simple movement can leave welts that last for weeks. This is the sort of
caning often featured in fiction, and in real life it is extreme.
Make him count the strokes. In most cases, four to six moderate stripes will do, especially if
the bottom has already been prepared by a good spanking. In severe cases you may give up
to one dozen strokes, maximum.

Afterward, you may expect to see red or purplish bruises on the buttocks, following the line of
your strokes. Quite literally, the gentleman may not sit down comfortably for a week. If you
prefer not to punish him so harshly, you may give the flavor of a caning by using light strokes
following all the ritual outlined here, with perhaps a single moderate stroke at the end of the
punishment. Even a mild English-style caning is an experience to remember.
-Leather-style Caning. The fearsome bite of the cane does not have to be used with punitive
force. By using a light to medium weight, mingling surface blows with one or two deeper cuts,
you can do a prolonged and pleasurably painful caning scene without leaving weeks worth of
welts. Let the rod do the punishing; you need not back the strokes with the full weight of your
arm. Indeed, some experts advise that you use the arm only from the elbow down.

The Birch. The birch is the Queen of rods: a long, slim bundle of fresh or pickled birch, tied
artistically with ribbons, and applied to a bare and blushing bottom. Its severity may be gauged
by the fact that it was deemed too cruel an instrument in British schools, and therefore was
replaced by the cane! A birch may be purchased through specialty shops or made up at home.
If you cut your own birch, choose half a dozen branches of two to three feet in length. Strip off
the leaves and any dead, brittle twigs, leaving the main stem and all the smaller twigs. The
branches will curve in one direction or other; arrange the bundle so that all curve inward, and
trim the handle end so that all rods are of the same length. You may wrap the ends with
florist's wire or electrical tape (which I prefer for its smoothness, elasticity, and superior
coverage) to make a six- to eight-inch handle. Cover the wrappings well with cross-tied
ribbons; classically, only one color was used, but I like a two-toned effect, crossing pink with
lavender or pale blue with pale yellow.
The birch offers broader coverage than the cane, but produces an intense sting like no other
implement. Six to twelve strokes are plenty for most subs. Because of the severity and
intensity of the birch, the ritual that leads up to its use is especially important. The Governess,
the Queen, the Amazon, and the Goddess may all use the birch, but it, like the cane, is at
heart a British schoolroom fantasy.
Position the culprit in one of the traditional bent-over postures: grabbing his ankles or
supported by the back of a chair or a desk. You should stand on his left side (assuming you
are right-handed; on the right if you are a lefty), so that his buttocks are in profile to you. Warn
him that he must keep his bottom open and relaxed for every stroke. He must take this
punishment like a man with no begging or pleading. Announce the number of strokes you
intend to apply: four or six for ordinary offenses, with perhaps one extra if he loses count and
another extra for clenching the buttocks.
Then apply the birch, swishing it in the air a few times to frighten him before you actually make
contact. Leave thirty to sixty seconds between counted strokes. Use a light to medium force,
mingling stingers with one or two deeper cuts. Let the rod do the punishing; you need not back
the strokes with the full weight of your arm. Indeed, some experts advise that you use the arm
only from the elbow down. Be especially careful about strokes that bite in. A prolonged or
forceful birching may break the skin.
Make him count the strokes. In most cases, four to six moderate blows will punish him
thoroughly, especially if the bottom has already been prepared by a good spanking. In severe
cases you may give up to one dozen strokes, maximum.
Afterward, you may expect to see many fine, thin red or purplish bruises on the buttocks. Quite
literally, the gentleman may not sit down comfortably for a week. If you prefer not to punish him
so harshly, you may give the flavor of a birching by using very light strokes following all the
ritual outlined here, with perhaps a single moderate stroke at the end of the punishment. Even
a mild birching is an experience to remember. A severe one is too much for most submissives
to bear.

Whips, Floggers, Cats. The whips, floggers, and cats are not really classic Domestic
Discipline implements, but they can nevertheless be wonderful toys. Floggers in particular are
a whole luscious kink in themselves.
Whips - usually known as singletails in the Leather communiry - are long, straight, flexible
leather braids. Although the riding crop, a shirt, thick whip, may be used like a cane, the
bullwhip made famous by Indiana Jones is difficult to use. You need a lot of room to swing a
singletail properly, and you must understand that they are not to be used as a paddle, but to
flick or brush the skin. There is no way I can teach you how to throw a singletail on paper. If
you're interested in learning the proper stance and technique, find a demo or a skilled player
and ask to learn. And for an exquisite display of artistry with a singletail, look for Anthony
Hopkins in "The Mask of Zorro" - a very hot movie that also includes a fireplay/furniture scene
that made me weak in the knees.
The cat-o'-nine-tails is a bundle of braided leather lashes gathered and held together by a
handle. It may be used like a birch, with less force, or as a flogger. The miniature version, only
a foot or so long, may be lightly and playfully flicked over the penis and balls during cock
torture. Never strike this area using anything but the lightest force! Think love pat, not smack or
lash.
The flogger is made like a cat but with flat leather or suede falls, and it is truly one of the most
sensual of all toys, with a powerfully erotic scent, feel, and motion. A good flogger may cost
$150 or more. Less expensive ones may be well made, but there are plenty of chintzy floggers
that can damage your technique. You ought to test the flogger first before buying, or else buy
from a craftswoman (almost all the great flogger-makers are women) whose wares suit your
taste.

Again, the proper stance, grip, and technique are essential, and best learned by direct
apprenticeship. Floggers may be used as paddles, or to brush against the upper back of a
bound, standing sub. I strongly recommend learning their use, though they are rarely used in a
purely Domestic Discipline scene.
If you are a Queen, Amazon, or Goddess, you may decide that the symbolic importance of the
whip (in the-form of the riding crop) and the cat is so great that you must use them. If you do
follow the rules carefully. The crop should be administered with the same precautions as the
cane; the birch should be the model for the use of the cat.
A Few Words in Conclusion
The art of discipline does indeed include the actual impact of an instrument upon the taut
buttocks of the male submissive. But the most important part of discipline is the drama and
ritual in which you embed it. Remember, pain alone is hardly satisfying. (No male gets an
erection from a toothache.) The pain should be a natural extension of your authority and
power, as well as a stimulation to the deep muscles of his buttocks.

8

THE SKILLS OF A MISTRESS:
Bondage, Humiliation, and Other Forms of Control

'The Good Life is waiting for us here and now!... At this very moment we have the necessary
techniques, both material and psychological, to create a full and satisfying life for everyone. "-
B.E Skinner, "Walden Two"

Whether you are an affectionate Nursemaid or a stern Amazon, you need certain skills for the
restraint and discipline of rebellious males. The arts of correction have already been set forth
in exquisite detail, but chastisement is not the only - or always the best - technique for keeping
a submissive in line. This chapter discusses various other methods for controlling a
submissive, including coercion, bondage, chastity devices, nipple stimulation, verbal
humiliation, and the enema. It concludes with a delightful passage on how to maintain control
of your submissive while you are in the throes of ecstasy - a skill which, I assure you, is
exceedingly useful and pleasant to exercise.

Coercion

Physical coercion has earned a bad name in many circles, and indeed, it is not appropriate in
dealing with dilatory workmen, venal politicians, stubborn children, h artless landlords,
incompetent employers, lazy employees, or other annoying beings, however tempted you may
be. Nevertheless, it has a place in handling the adult male submissive (and may be used to
punish any of the irritating behaviors listed above, if you so desire). Coercion in this context
includes all those means by which you, the Mistress, force the male into positions of
humiliation, bondage, or punishment, or gain control of him when he has rebelled against your
Authority. (Any such rebellion must be followed by instant and severe punishment, of course.)
The techniques listed here cause no permanent damage but make it difficult for the submissive
to resist your will. Some are especially humiliating and childish, but that is all to the good.
Seize him by the ear. Holding a submissive by this sensitive spot enables the Mistress to lead
him to punishment. A firm grip on the upper part of the ear is both painful and practical; it is,
moreover, difficult to break such a grasp. He will march along quite willingly when you use this
technique.

Tug him by the hair. The scalp is even more sensitive than the ear. By twining your fingers
securely in his hair, you will get a good grip and be able to control his movements. If the male
is much taller than you are, use this grip to bring him to his knees. Forcing a male to cross a
room on his knees, traveling painfully toward deserved and severe chastisement, is quite
thrilling for the Mistress.

Bend a finger. A subtle yet delicious way of forcing a male to do your bidding is to seize a
finger - middle and ring fingers are generally most sensitivebend it at the large central knuckle,
and squeeze. This action forces the outermost part against the hand and is surprisingly painful.
(Try it out on yourself to understand the technique and the sensation.)
You may also bend back a finger or two, but this procedure is riskier. Do not break his finger. Fractures are unerotic.

Grip his male member. Glaringly unsubtle but effective. As a great government official once
expressed it, "If you've got them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow."
Methods differ depending on whether the male is in a state of sexual arousal. If he is not erect,
you may seize and twist his member or even the scrotum. Grasp the sac from below, placing
your fingertips just atop the testicles. and twist one-half turn. This technique, amazingly similar
to the preferred way m seal bread in a plastic bag, moves the skin, making the balls bulge
within a suddenly smaller sac. Under this compulsion, your slave will follow wherever you lead.
If he is erect, a solid grip on penis enables you to lead him, or you may choose to encircle the
base of the scrotum and the engorged member with your fingers. No matter what his size, you
should be able to make your thumb and forefinger meet around them. Then you may deal with
him as you please. Gentle
pressure of a few fingers on one testicle is generally enough to make him do exactly as you
say.
As always when dealing with the male genitalia, be firm but gentle. The last
thing you want to do is spoil your fun for life.

Gag him. When he cannot utter his protests, he may become more docile. Gagging is a
sensitive activity - some people cannot bear it even for a second but can be effective. If your
slave has a gagging phobia, you may threaten him with it, but never actually do it. During
gagging, three stomps on the floor, or another gesture, should replace the safeword. And
never gag both nose and mouth at once, or when your submissive has a head cold.
The best gag is a pair of your own panties, preferably worn for at least one day, artistically
stuffed into his mouth. Stockings or pantyhose are also useful. These soft gags are good for
short-term gagging. Do not stuff them so far back in his mouth that he can't dislodge them if he
needs to, and do not tie anything over them; if they work their way to the back of his throat,
they could kill him.
Hard gags consist of a mouthpiece, usually made of plastic, and a strap around the head to
hold the mouthpiece in. (Think braces and orthodontic appliances.) They include ball gags,
penis gags (in which the submissive's mouth is damped over a fairly realistic, if short, plastic
penis), bits, and other toys available through mail order and in local sex shops. The ball gag is
simplest; indeed, self-explanatory. The penis gag is especially humiliating to a straight male.
The bit looks like a horse's bit but is made for a male's mouth; you may employ this in pony
games. Most gags cause the submissive to salivate, so gags should not be so big as to make
it impossible for him to swallow and/or to allow the drool to run out of his mouth.

Sensory deprivation. By controlling what your sub sees, hears, and smells, you can control
him. The original idea of corner time or sending a misbehaving child to his room was to deprive
him of social contact and limit the stimulation he could get, so he might calm down and
reconsider his naughty behavior. Sensory deprivation in its various forms still works to punish
the naughty and tame the defiant. Using several methods together is especially effective.
The simple blindfold may consist of a sleeper's black mask, a silk scarf or tie, panties bound on
with stockings, or even a leather hood (of which more anon). Make sure he cannot see
through, over, or under the blindfold. Once. blindfolded, the submissive male may imagine
dreadful chastisements approaching him, or even believe several Mistresses are in the room,
all ready to humiliate and punish him. You may choose to tell him all about the coming
punishment, or stay still and let him believe you have gone away. Unable to see, he is
peculiarly vulnerable to fears of abandonment, cruelty, and public humiliation. Blindfolding is
most useful in connection with various forms of bondage.
To prevent the sharp-eared slave from hearing you approach, you may fit him out with heavy
ear protectors. Designed to prevent hearing loss when using noisy machinery, they are
available in home centers and hardware stores, and, if your submissive ever uses power tools,
you should have a pair anyway. Otherwise, good quality stereo headphones may serve as a
substitute. The tiny portable type do not block sound at all.
The leather hoods always on display at sex shops may act as a combination gag, blindfold,
and ear protector. Some Dommes find these hoods useful and attractive. By hiding the face,
completely, the hood provides total freedom and therefore total release. If you find them
arousing, by all means enjoy them safely. I personally loathe them. By hiding the face
completely, they prevent you from judging the effect of your words and actions on your willing
submissive. But their use is entirely up to you.

Nipple Stimulation

Nipple stimulation deserves a section to itself because it is more than a form of coercion. It
partakes of the nature of bondage (for it can be used as a form of restraint and may require
various items of equipment) and of humiliation (for most males are secretly ashamed of having
such a Feminine mark on their male flesh, and even more ashamed of deriving sexual
pleasure from them). It is also intensely stimulating to many males, even those who have not
yet discovered their submissive nature.

Hands, Teeth, and Household Items. The simplest, most sensitive instruments for nipple
stimulation are your fingers. Pinch, tease, twist, and rub the nipples of a male, especially one
in bondage, and watch him writhe in pleasure-pain. Use your fingernails to scrape and pinch
as well. You may even nibble with lips or teeth.
The next step up is the improvised clamp made from a spring-type clothespin or the metal
French clothespins found in camping stores and WallMarts everywhere. You may also
experiment with hair clips of various types. Bobby pins may be slightly opened and then closed
over the nipple. The viciously toothed clips used in salons to keep hair off your face may be too
fierce for long use, but when rapidly opened and closed on the nipple create exquisite torment.
You may even choose old clip earrings, especially those with screw-on posts, to decorate
while stimulating.

Nipple Clamps and Weights. All sex-toy catalogs offer nipple clamps in a bewildering
multitude of sizes and styles. Some snap on like the roach clips of old, while others screw on
(and seem always to slip off). Some are toothed, others smooth. Some are joined with chains
while others have hanging weights attached. And they range in price from reasonable to
outrageous. All serve the same basic purpose.

Piercing. Permanent piercing of nipples, balls, cock, or wherever, should be done by a
professional. Should you choose to pierce your submissive's nipples, go to a qualified piercer,
make sure the instruments are absolutely sterile, and enjoy.

Play Piercing. If you have access to single-use sterile medical needles, you can do play
piercing. Again, this (like fireplay, singletails, Japanese rope bondage, and so many of the
other Leather arts) should be learned directly from a skilled Dom/me.

Bondage

Bondage may range from a fir but gentle tucking-in of the adult infant to me lengthy, savage
captivity of a slave or votary undergoing an ordeal.
Bondage of any kind offers both comfort and unease. The comfort derives from the physical
sensation of compression, which is soothing and pacifying, like being tightly held. The unease
should be more psychological; it derives from the sensation of restraint, of being unable to get
out, move freely, and exercise his will. Thus bondage is perfect, offering the Dominatrix free
access to work her will upon her helpless captive, while producing in the slave the peculiar
combination of stimulation and restraint that makes submission so satisfying for a naughty
male.
First, a few warnings. Never leave a slave alone while he is in bondage. Never suspend
anyone by the neck, or in such a position that his weight is borne by the neck. Make sure you
can instantly release your submissive (keep a pair of heavy paramedic shears or tin snips
nearby to cut the bonds, if necessary). And, if he begins to panic or uses the safeword, let him
out immediately!

Standard Bondage Equipment. The choice of appropriate bondage equipment is a delicate
one. Since it may also entail considerable expense, you should think through your fantasy (not
to mention your slave's) before spending $359 on nonreturnable equipment you'll never use.
Submissives with Amazon or Goddess fantasies often prefer the studded black-leather gear
widely available. It has an appropriately sinister, remote, and stylish feel, and it comes in an
astonishing array of choices. However, the three domestic fantasies - the Nursemaid,
Governess, and Queen fantasies - really demand a different type of equipment. Ropes, straps,
and dog collars are more appropriate and erotic for them. Even in fantasy, nobody handcuffs a
baby. Almost everyone enjoys what I have called Victorian bondage: hobbles, corsets, and the
backboard; these are discussed in a later section.
Adult infants need the simplest bondage, if any: tight sheets holding them tucked in bed;
perhaps a strap to hold them down to a "changing table" while they undergo an enema or have
their diapers changed. An adult schoolboy might need to be strapped down hand and foot to
receive a particularly severe punishment. The sissy maid could lean either way, depending on
individual taste. He may require more extensive bondage, even dungeon-type bondage, but he
may not: be attracted by the black-and-silver glitter of traditional gear.

Soft Bondage: Scarves and Neckties. Most bondage enthusiasts begin with soft bondage,
tying up the submissive with scarves or neckties. This method seems comfortable and simple
and has the advantage of being inexpensive, as-long as yon already own a brass bed or
wooden four-poster. Yet the technique has certain disadvantages beyond the obvious one of
permanently creased silk scarves. Depending on the cloth used, knots may slip out entirely,
cutting off the scene, or tighten unexpectedly, cutting off his circulation. Knotting may be slow
and awkward, and unknotting can be next to impossible. Do you really wish to cut your favorite
scarf off your slave's ankles?

Choosing and Using Ropes. Soft all-cotton ropes may be used. (Nylon rope tends to slip.) An
old, well-used clothesline may be ideal. If you desire, you may pad the ropes with soft cloth
wound lightly-around the joint to be tied. You will need to learn to tie some basic knots. Using
the instructions in a camping guide or macrame handbook, practice until you can tie and untie
the knots blindfolded. You must be quick and deft; few things are less erotic than a Mistress
struggling with ropes while her bored and impatient submissive sighs with frustration.

Cuffs, Straps, Chains, and Belts. While you are learning the ropes, so to speak, you may
use chains and/or buckled straps for bondage. Decent padded or fur-lined wrist and ankle cuffs
are a basic necessity for the Domme's toybox. The studded black-leather type are widely
available at sex shops, but for tiedowns and attachments you may prefer to buy dog or cat
collars, which come in all colors, several widths, and a variety of lengths, from six inches to
more than twenty. Some are too stiff to be used comfortably on human flesh, but others are
slightly padded or lined with soft suede. Moreover, all have rings attached for leashes and are
easily adjustable. They are rapidly attached and removed, and with a little simple modification,
they can be locked. (Use one of the tiny locks sold as luggage locks; insert the shaft through
one of the holes in the strap, enlarging it if necessary.) In short, they are ideal for a variety of
bondage positions.
You may, also use worn, soft leather or fabric belts when you need bonds with additional
length. If either you or your submissive is handy with crafts, you may cut lengths of leather
from a belt or a piece of leather to make lace-up -manacles of precisely the right length. Use
leather bootstrings for the laces, and finish with a small padlock.
Leashes of leather or metal are also useful gear. They may be fastened to a collar, to nipple
clamps, to male chastity devices, or all three. They allow the Dominatrix to control her
submissive while he is relatively mobile, and show off her power in a most humiliating fashion.

Collars. The collar to most Domestic Discipline practitioners is a useful place to attach a leash.
In the Leather community, however, the collar is a symbol of commitment as powerful as a
wedding band. Before you place a collar around a new sub's neck, make sure you know
exactly what both of you mean by it. Many Leather people have collaring ceremonies to
celebrate the commitment.
Collars themselves can-range from a sissy's lace frill to an adult baby's bib, nom a beautifully
worked chain-and-leather waterfall to a short pearl choker indistinguishable from any other
necklace except to those in the know. In some communities, only subs wear collars. However,
the popular media often show Dommes in collars, so I've seen Dommes at parties wearing
them. It's up to you and your sub to decide what each of you wears and what it means.

Spreader Bars and Dungeon Gear. Given the wide variety of available dungeon gear, you
should be able to tie up your slave a new way every day, as long as you can afford the leather.
Among the profusion of delightful instruments of restraint, a few old favorites stand out, always
available and interesting. Steel handcuffs should be sturdy, professional-quality gear; cheap
pairs often have nonstandard keys made of soft metal, and usually lack the ability to "doublelock"
co prevent further tightening. Few people use handcuffs for lengthy bondage, as they can
cut off circulation and cause nerve damage.
Spreader bars are designed to attach at the ankles and keep your submissive's legs apart so
you can do whatever cock torture you please. Other dungeon gear includes (but is not limited
to) wrist-to-thigh restraints, straitjackets, slings, and all the dozens of varieties of harness.
Browse a catalog together to choose these specialty items, which are too numerous to list
here.

Victorian Bondage. Several types of restraint might appropriately be called Victorian
bondage, because they derive directly from that fascinating moment in time. Corsets, hobbling,
and the backboard all come-under this heading, and, best of all, they may be used by a
Mistress practicing virtually any fantasy.

-The Corset. Corsets may be associated with the Mistress, but are often worn by submissives
as well. Their tightness, the erect posture they produce, and their Feminizing effect could make
them suitable for a naughty schoolboy (sentenced to dress as a Female for teasing a little Girl,
perhaps) and for a sissy maid. An Amazon or a Goddess might humiliate her slave by forcing
him into the clothing of a Female, starting with the corset. Corsets are also widely available in
dozens of styles. Choose carefully, and be willing to have one custom-fitted. Although they
may be expensive, the are virtually indispensable for the submissive. Dommes, luckily enough,
only have to wear them if they want to.

-The Hobble. Hobbling\has, as yet, received too little attention in/the literature. It derives from
the hobble skirt of the 1870s (revived in the early years of the twentieth century), which was so
narrow at the ankles that a Lady could barely toddle. By shortening the submissive's steps, the
hobble makes him feel helpless and trapped; it eliminates any chance that he could run away.
At the same time, it makes his gait and carriage more feminine, especially if he is also wearing
corset and high heels. It may even impart a luscious Marilyn Monroe sway to his steps.
The simplest hobble is still the hobble skirt, available from thrift shops or made at home.
However, an excellent hobble can be improvised from a 12- to 14-inch chain (available by-the
foot at the hardware store) attached to leather ankle fetters. Never allow your submissive to
climb stairs in a hobble.

-The Backboard. The backboard, too, is a truly Victorian accessory, historically used to correct
the posture of generations of schoolGirls. It consisted of a padded wooden board with straps at
shoulders and waist to hold the back rigidly erect and prevent the shoulders from drooping.
The early Peter Weir film "Picnic at Hanging Rock" (besides being a good movie) has a
backboard scene; you may wish to rent the film and examine the appliance.
Unfortunately, I have never seen one offered in the catalogues, but if you and your submissive
are handy, you may make one. Cut a piece of plywood to the length of your submissive's torso
from shoulders to the tops of the thighs, slightly wider than the shoulders at the top and
narrowing to the width of the hips. Pad it well with firm foam rubber and cover with a soft,
absorbent material; velvet is best, but a good grade of terrycloth will do. Attach narrow vertical
straps at the shoulders to hold the arm firmly to the backboard. Horizontal straps may run
across the chest (just under the breasts) and at the waist and hips. You may indulge your
imagination with decorations, ribbons, locks, and so forth, depending on whether you are
training an adult infant to stand up straight or punishing a careless slave.

Bondage Positions

Many additional uses and techniques of bondage are given in the individual
fantasy chapters, but the six basic positions are explained here. Whether your submissive is
lying, standing, bending, sitting, kneeling, or walking, you can have the satisfaction of keeping
him in bondage. Wonderful, isn't it?

Lying. The simplest bondage position is lying down, face-up, tied to a four-poster or a brass
bed. In this position, with his legs spread and his arms immobile, you may Queen him, as
explained later in this chapter; torment his nipples or his genitals; or indulge yourself with
mockery at his helplessness. You may prop up his buttocks with pillows to gain better access
to his anus and balls.

Standing. Ideally done in a doorway equipped with discreet eyebolts, this position presents
you with many exiting possibilities. Hands overhead may be an uncomfortable position to
maintain for long periods of time, but you may fasten his manacles to the eyebolts with enough
slack so he can keep his circulation good. You can discipline him w h paddle, crop, or birch;
you may wish to tease his nipples, stimulate his anus, or mock him. A slave tied to the
showerhead in a tub or shower may be disciplined or indulged with water sports. The
Dominatrix may also tie her slave standing to a whipping post.

Bending. Combining standing and lying, this is absolutely the best position for discipline, as it
presents the target area enticingly. The tightened skin even adds to the stimulation, making
every blow more intense. You may tie your submissive over the arm of a chair or sofa, with his
arms well stretched forward, or across a desk. Consider fastening the ankles as well to prevent
kicking. You may also stimulate the anus in this position.

Sitting. A rare position, mostly useful for adult babies strapped into a feeding chair by means
of a long strap around his waist and the seat.
Kneeling. Mostly useful for sissy maids and the slaves of Amazons and Goddesses. The
ankles or knees could be fastened together. The wrists may be fastened behind the back or
behind the back of the neck (a position that cannot generally be tolerated long). The Mistress
may stand over the kneeling submissive for oral servitude, or force him to confess various
fantasies and crimes.

Walking. Walking bondage may seem like a contradiction in terms, but it is actually very
commonly used. A slave in a hobble and/or a corset may be free to walk and serve his
Mistress, but he is also in bondage. One of the reasons for male chastity devices is to allow
walking bondage. With a mobile yet bound vassal, the Mistress may enjoy all the privileges of
being served, while maintaining a tight rein on her possession. The leash may be used to limit
his freedom to a specific distance.

Male Chastity Devices

Like all bondage equipment, these range from the simple (straps and cock rings) to the
elaborate (custom-made "permanent" chastity devices). The aim of all is to restrict the penis.
Wearing some, the submissive may not even have an erection others allow erection but make
masturbation impossible. Still others are vibrating cock rings, designed to allow the Mistress
total control of her slave's sensations and even his orgasm.
Who Should Use Them? Every Mistress, whatever her specialty, may find use for these
devices. It is just as important to keep Baby's mind pure and his flesh unpolluted as it is to
control a wayward votary of the Goddess. Indeed, several of the more popular designs are
based on Victorian originals, designed to prevent prisoners and children from the horrors of
self-abuse.

Why Do They Work? All male chastity devices work on the basic principle that the Mistress
who controls a male's penis controls him not just his sexual satisfaction, but his thoughts,
fantasies, will, actions.. and emotions. The longer a vassal wears the badge of his servitude
around his member, the more deeply submissive and obedient he will be. Therefore, the first
treatment for a rebellious slave is affixing a chastity device to the root of his problems. The
results are little short of miraculous: new gentleness, obedience, and humility in even the most
recalcitrant males. Some few guy subs, however, do not respond well to this treatment. If
chastity produces surliness or misery, choose another method for controlling him.
Chastity devices are not a panacea. They may help you gain command of an unruly male, but
your own Authority must maintain that command. Further more, few chastity devices can be
worn full-time. Most are designed to be worn for not more than an hour or so, especially if your
submissive is well-endowed.

If chastity is a serious interest of yours, there are now some wonderful chastity devices that
can be worn for months at a time. All are custom-made, and some are quite expensive, but
luxuries make excellent holiday and birthday gifts. The Remy chastity is, in my experience, the
best compromise for long-term wear without spending a fortune. However, it works best on
submissives whose testicles are substantial in size. Access Denied, Northbound Leather, and
various other makers have created luscious devices for short- or long-term wear.

Stiff Devices. Stiff devices are designed to be worn with a full or partial erection. They include
most cock rings, ball stretchers, and harnesses. Stiff restraining devices intensify and contain
the submissive's arousal. They prolong and control his erection, simultaneously tantalizing him
while making any orgasm difficult, if not impossible. The longer any male is aroused, the more
explosive will be his final orgasm; penis restraints not only make a male feel more submissive,
they add to his pleasure when he is finally released. Many come fitted with locks, D-rings for
leashes, and other security features to ensure that the naughty submissive may not remove
the device himself. Few can be worn for longer than an hour. Custom-made chastities,
however, may be worn for months.

Soft Devices. Soft devices are designed to prevent any erection. They generally consist of
soft leather fitted to the hanging dimensions of the male (measuring him for the device is
especially erotic and humiliating) or of metal strips arranged in a cage for the penis. Like stiff
devices, they often feature Drings and lock ng straps. The soft chastity device offers total
control to the Mistress, for when a male loses his ability even to stiffen under stimulation, his
spirit is halfway to being broken.
The one potential problem is that they must be fastened on when the submissive's member is
in a flaccid state - hardly an easy task, as many males engorge as soon as they see the
device. You may wish to force your submissive into a position of unusual pain,
embarrassment, or humiliation (scrubbing toilets, for example) in order to fasten the device on
him. Once attached, the device may be worn for many hours.

Vibrating Devices. The vibrating battery-powered cock ring controls the male in a somewhat
different way. It ensures that he will have an orgasm on your command and at your will,
without either of you actually touching the active member! By removing his control over the last
personal power he has, that of orgasm, you gain total command of the submissive.
Suggestions for use are given in the section on Combining Power and Pleasure, below.

CBT and Penis Punishment

From chastity devices the natural next step is CBT (cock and ball torture), also known-as penis
punishment. Few Nursemaids or Governesses will employ these techniques, but they are
staples in the repertoire of the Queen, Amazon, and Goddess. Although they must be used
with extreme care, these techniques are often highly effective in controlling the defiant or
naughty submissive. Because the punishment is so severe, the submissive should be firmly in
bondage before you proceed.

Specific techniques vary, but some suggestions follow:
-Use a small cat 0' nine tails to whip the cock and balls, never using your full force.
-Scrape your fingernails up and down his shaft, glans, and testicles.
-Use tweezers to pluck out individual pubic hairs.
-Scrape a small sharp-spined curler over the glans and scrotum.
-Rub the bristles of a hairbrush over the cock and balls.
-Drip hot candle wax over the glans. Never use sealing wax, beeswax or a metallic candle;
they can cause serious burns.

Verbal Humiliation

Some males need to be called naughty boys or told in no uncertain terms that they are wicked,
worthless, or unmanly. Verbal humiliation, however, consists of more than just teasing. It is as
delicate an art as proper birching and even more difficult to master. Before you try a scene
including humiliation, talk it over with your submissive! If you inadvertently bruise his bottom,
he will probably forgive you; if you mock his most sensitive point, you could wreck your
relationship.
Verbal humiliation is most often talked of as a series of crudely expressed insults, generally
aimed at the submissive's manhood and self-esteem. Some Mistresses practice this coarse
form of a very fine art, mainly because some few males desire it. However, verbal humiliation
can be a field of great creative potential. It may include the scolding of adult infants and
schoolboys and icy directions to a sissy maid, as well as the straightforward and robust insults
already mentioned. Furthermore, it can include forced confessions, interrogations, and
whispered comments on the submissive's need for punishment and even Feminization.

The Enema

Many Dommes will at some time or other decide to cleanse the bowels of their submissives.
Proper, careful techniques for enema administration are necessary; too much water or the
wrong ingredients can lead to severe consequences, including a burst colon or death. Enemas
should be used rarely, as they can interfere with natural bowel function. Despite these
warnings, an enema can be a very erotic experience for a submissive and his Mistress. It is
worth a careful try.

Equipment and Ingredients. Don't bother with chemical enemas of the Fleet type; the pleasure
of the enema comes from the fullness of the bowel and the anal stimulation, not from cramping
and elimination. Get a good rubber enema bag from a medical supply shop; it should have a
rubber hose with clips to control the flow of water into the colon. The Bardex tip is inflatable so
it won't pull out. Follow package instructions to the letter on sterilization and cleanliness!
Fill the bag with warm, not boiling, water; cold water should be avoided, as it causes cramps.
No harsh detergents, no weird ingredients. Never use drugs or alcohol; they can lead to
bleeding and even death from poisoning. The colon is a mucous membrane and as such
absorbs chemicals far more readily than skin. Trust me, a pint to a quart of plain warm water
will provide a very satisfying sense of fullness. The shame and drama you evoke are more
likely to obtain good results than the most exotic ingredients imaginable.

Administration. Grease the nozzle with a lubricant and insert into the submissive's rectum. He
should be lying on his side, knees drawn up. Let the water enter slowly, letting him grow used
to the feeling of fullness. You may wish to set a kitchen timer and tell him he must hold in the
enema until it rings in fifteen minutes. During the time he is holding in the enema, you may
indulge in various other punishments and techniques, from scolding to bondage to a light
spanking. (You may wish to paddle his hind end before the enema is administered, depending
on your scenario.) You may also insert a butt plug to help him retain the water.
When it is time for him to relieve himself, most Mistresses allow the submissive to do so alone
and in privacy. (You should discuss this issue with him before the scene.)
Afterward, you may make him stand in the corner, insert a vibrator in his anus, or go on with
the scene in whatever way takes your fancy.

Anal Play

The voluptuous sense of being filled that penetration gives is not simply a female prerogative.
(Though the passionate engulfing power of a pussy seizing and swallowing a cock is entirely
ours.) You can thrill yourself and your submissive by slowly, inexorably penetrating his sweet
rosebud anus.

Many men enjoy anal penetration; it stimulates the prostate and can be intense enough to
cause orgasm with no direct touching of the cock. (This is a lot of fun for Domme. Making him
come - and come hard - without touching his cock is a genuine power thrill.) However, anal
play requires gentleness, skill, and care to be safe and enjoyable. Keep your hands clean, and
make sure you never transfer fluids, germs, your fingers, or other toys directly from anus to
vagina. You can cause nasty infections that way. If you dislike mess or have cuts on your
hands, wear rubber gloves and/or put down a towel.

A good manicure with short nails and smooth cuticles is essential. If you really want dragonlady
nails, don't penetrate your sub with your fingers. I usually
have long nails on my left hand (perfect for CBT) and clipped nails on my right for penetration.
Think of it as a Dommely fashion statement.

Although most people can do anal play without incurring serious medical consequences, a few
people cannot, and you as the Domme are responsible for making sure that your sub is safe.
Certain medical conditions, such as high blood pressure, make anal penetration or enemas
risky. Beta-blocker drugs and certain other blood pressure and cardiac medications are
particularly dangerous in conjunction with anal play. If your submissive has a heart valve
prosthesis, he should not participate in anal play without his physician's explicit permission.
Obviously if you want to practice anal stimulation, talk to your doctor.
If you're uncomfortable talking about this, maybe writing your doctor a note or asking over the
phone would be wise - or getting a doctor you are comfortable with. In my experience, most
doctors are much less shockable than patients think. But you should have a doctor whose
judgment you trust and who is not judgmental about your sexual practices.

Once your doctor has cleared anal sex as safe, you need to assemble some toys and supplies.
Lubricant is essential for any anal play. Despite Marlon Brando, butter is not an ideal anal lube.
Dozens of brands of lube are available at your local drugstore or kink-store, but the choice
depends on several factors. For anal play, nonoxynol-9 can be irritating to some people.
Silicone-based lubes are wonderfully slick for finger-based penetration but will damage silicone
toys. Many people find KY Jelly too light for anal play. My personal favorite is silicone-based,
because I protect all toys, including the expensive and wonderfully jiggly silicone ones, with
Saran Wrap or a condom to make cleanup easier.

Then there are the toys. Beads, butt plugs, dildos, vibrators, strap-on dildos, Tampax, your
own hand... the variety is endless and wonderful, in size, shape, and material. Jellies are to my
mind more fun than hard plastic vibrators. To me the silicone dildos are best of all, since they
feel almost like real flesh. Anything you insert into the anus should have a flange at the bottom
large enough to prevent its being sucked all the way in, or a string or other device to facilitate
its removal.
Toys range in size from fingerlike to gargantuan. If you want to do a little fear play, make a sub
look at a huge butt plug and then insert a smaller one. But all anal penetration should be done
gently and in stages. Tearing anal tissues can cause scarring and eventual incontinence - a
messy problem. Start small. You can always work your way up to the Giant Economy Vibe
later. Remember that length and girth both matter.

Go step by step, slowly and gently. This is a process that should be savored. Don't start out
penetrating with a twelve-inch strap-on as thick as a beer can. The first toy to use should
probably be your finger. For mobility, length, and ease, the thumb is the best finger to start
with. Make sure you use lots of lube, and let your partner get used to penetration over a course
of weeks. Also, frankly, the possible negative results of rushing may include wrecking your
chances - and your partner's! - ever to enjoy anal sex.
Make sure your partner gets lots and lots of pleasure. Stroke, hold, and stimulate him. You can
try applying a vibrator to the base of a small butt plug buried in his ass or slipping on a
vibrating cock ring to intensify the experience. Tease him by repeatedly penetrating him with a
well-lubed thumb, moving shallowly at first and then easing in deeper. If it hurts, slow down
and pull out a little. Relax, have a good time, and let the tension and excitement build. The
more positive experiences your partner has with anal stimulation, the more eager he'll be for
that full, final penetration.

Hair Removal

From the time of puberty, hair is a symbol of adulthood and sexual power. Removing your
slave's pubic hair (or other body hair) shows not only that you own him but also that he is less
than an adult. You may shave (using lots of lather), use bikini wax, pluck, or use chemical hair
removers to denude your submissive of the hair on his chest, legs, buttocks, or armpits, and
use any of these except chemical removal on his balls. And yes, the removal itself should be a
shared erotic experience.
Hot wax is painful; be careful to purchase a type approved for the bikini area. Shaving is erotic
but potentially dangerous; a nick is not unlikely. Yet soaping his balls for a shave is a thrilling
sensation not to be missed. You may blindfold and tie your submissive during any of the
techniques; he might jump less that way.

Face Slapping

Parents who slap their children's faces are doing something so dangerous that many highly
trained, sadistic Leather people refuse to do it. Unprotected face-slapping can cause all kinds
of problems, from detached retina to permanent hearing damage to whiplash. Yet faceslapping
can be erotic; it is intensely powerful because of its emotional connotations.
To slap your sub safely, first make sure he is not wearing contact lenses. Then cradle his
cheek in one hand, gently but firmly, while you tap or slap him lightly with the other, using the
fingers, not the palm. This cushions the shock and prepares him for the blow; it can also
become erotic in itself, since it demonstrates both tender care and urgent control.

Combining Power and Pleasure

How can you maintain command while you yourself are caught up in the throes of ecstasy? It
may not be easy, but it is possible - and exceedingly rewarding to boot. Oral servitude, anal or
vaginal, is the method of choice. But how exactly can you maintain your control over your slave
while he is going down on you? That can be a tricky issue, and I have several concrete
suggestions.

1. Always refer to Cunnilingus in terms that you select. Rendering obeisance, worshiping at
your Shrine, oral servitude: these names all emphasize your Dominance and his low, groveling
position. Remember the power of words. You may choose another name for the act, if you
wish, but make sure it has
the right connotations.

2. Consider your position. The classic posture, in which you lie on your back while the male
serves you, may make him feel arrogant and in charge. Try Queening him. Have him he on his
back while you sit on his face (make sure he has an airway through either his mouth or his
nose). It may take some time before you learn to have an orgasm this way, but it's worth the
trouble.
If you sit facing his body instead of his head, you can also engage in penis punishment, nipple
pinching, and other delightful pastimes while he is serving you. Since the slave should be
utterly forbidden to come (or perhaps even to become aroused) during the-act of oral
servitude, you can feel the proud sense of duty done whenever you tease and torment the
submissive worshiping at your Shrine. Few things in a slave's or Mistress's life are as
satisfying as this combined reward and punishment.

3. Remind him of his subservience. While he's rendering obeisance to your Shrine, talk to him.
You may use verbal humiliation or simply tell him a fantasy demonstrating your total power and
control. This approach is ideal for many Female Tyrants, who revel in the chance to speak
harshly to their subordinates. However, for some Mistresses this technique works well only in
the earlier stages of the service; they find it difficult to maintain a fluent conversation while
approaching orgasm.

4. Control his every move. If you are lying on your back, take hold of a lock of his hair. Pull on
it to bring him closer and intensify the feeling, pull him away from your Shrine to make him
lighten up. (You certainly don't want to come too fast.) You can give him oral commands as
well, indicating whether he is to go faster or slower, softer or harder.
You may also forbid him certain acts, such as using his tongue, but if you do, you have to
monitor him every minute, and be prepared to punish him instantly and memorably for any
transgression. A riding crop applied to his back or buttocks is useful to indicate your
displeasure.

5. Try remote control. A vibrating cock ring with a variable-speed control is ideal for this task.
You hold onto the control, turning up the intensity of the buzz when you are pleased with him,
lowering it when you are displeased (or vice versa; just make sure he knows which is the
reward and which the punishment!). Absolutely forbid him to have an orgasm, and make sure
he understands the penalties of doing so without your express command. Then you can relax
and enjoy a series of climaxes without worrying about losing the initiative.
Male chastity devices by their very nature keep him in check; somehow, when a man cannot
attain or use an erection, he becomes a softer, humbler, more submissive creature. As
stimulating as oral servitude is to the average submissive, he cannot express his arousal in
any usual male-dominated way when his organ is bound. Instead, he must channel all the
energy of his desire into the need to obey you. Stimulation plus frustration equals service.
These suggestions also work well for controlling your slave during anilingus, foot worship,
massage, or any-other personal pleasuring you choose. You should be able to attain climaxes
of an extraordinary intensity and frequency, since the male cannot stop unless you order him
to. Later on, his own orgasm (should you permit him one) will be intensified not only by the
punishment, but also by the prolonged stimulation without release you have so kindly afforded
him. If he isn't grateful, birch the little whelp.

9

FANTASIES:
Discovering His, Fulfilling Yours

"To know is nothing at all; to imagine is everything. " - Anatole France

The rich profusion of Female Domination fantasies may bewilder you at first. Possibilities
abound: you may be a sophisticated siren luring a young man into your trap, a gracious lady
accepting the homage of a knight, or a saucy Southern belle teasing her lover. Clearly these
are different fantasies, demanding different approaches.
Clearly? Perhaps not. Diverse as they seem, all of these roles could fit into the same basic
framework of fantasy, just as different pictures of the same size will fit into the same frame.
However, by changing emphasis, interpretation, and script, they could also express totally
dissimilar fantasies - or, if you will, fit into different frames.

This chapter simplifies choosing among the infinite variety of fantasies by classifying/hem into
five archetypes, from the affectionate yet punitive Nursemaid to the stern and remote
Goddess. As a matter of good form and relative importance, the fantasies are named after the
Dominatrix in charge, even though the submissive in each fantasy has a different role: infant,
schoolboy, sissy maid, slave, and votary.
Certainly a fantasy may partake of several of the archetypes; a Mistress may enjoy first the
service due the Queen and then the adoration that delights the Goddess. Likewise, a
submissive male may yearn to be caned like a naughty schoolboy, then sentenced to an hour
or two of babyhood as additional humiliation. Nevertheless, you will find that the basic
categories are useful, for they are based on genuine and enduring distinctions. The ritual
exchange of power is the heart of any Female Domination fantasy, and in each archetype
power has a characteristic source, balance, use, expression, and significance between
Mistress and submissive. Furthermore, emotional distance (an indirect indicator of power) is
different in each archetype.

Choosing a Fantasy

In one sense, even the most powerful Mistress does not choose a fantasy. Fantasies choose
us. They appeal to us on a series of levels, from the deeply unconscious (in which the fantasy
is a ritual reenactment or negation of an incident we cannot even remember - perhaps even
from a past life), to the transparently superficial (liking the costumes).
As you read the next five chapters, you should have no trouble at all telling which roles you
would like to tryout. The jolt of sexual electricity should immediately tell you. You may even be
tempted to quit reading. Why grope around for something else when You've found exactly what
you've always wanted?

Because something else may be even more fun for you than your first pick. Because your
partner may respond better to a different version of the Dominance! submission scenario.
Because variety is the spice of life.
Quit reading, if you like, and go tie up your submissive. But when the scene is over, go back
and read the parts you skipped. You may find an idea, a technique, or a scenario that instantly
rouses all your Dominant instincts.
You could recognize elements of your submissive's fantasies in another archetype, giving you
a new and delightful way to surprise him. Most submissives are touchingly grateful when a
Mistress puts a new spin on an old scene. Besides, why should your vassal always have to
come up with new ideas for his Domination?

Or you could, weeks or months from now, find yourself toying with an idea picked up from a
different fantasy. Perhaps, while playing out your basic fantasy, you could adapt a technique
from a totally different archetype of Female Dominance. An Amazon might humble her slave
by making him write punishment lines as a Governess would, then revert to type and shackle
him to the bed so she could use him sexually. A Queen could shame her sissy maid by putting
him into diapers as a Nursemaid would. Or the gentle Nursemaid might adapt the Amazon's
wicked interrogation technique in order to find out what naughty little boy stole a cookie from
the cookie jar.

The possibilities are endless. Don't limit your options by defining yourself too narrowly. You
may be a Goddess or a Nursemaid, but first and foremost you are a Woman in charge. If you
try a new technique and find it disappointing, or your submissive doesn't care for it, no harm
has been done. Next time try something else.

The Five Fantasies

The five basic archetypes of Female Dominance are briefly explained below. The
accompanying table summarizes all this information and gives additional considerations; you
may wish to study it before turning to the individual chapters. You may read your favorite first
and then browse through the others at your leisure. Rereading can be helpful; an idea might
strike you on the third reading that you missed entirely the first and second times.
Although most fantasies fall into one of the categories, the classification is neither rigid nor
mutually exclusive. Most Dominant Women also freely borrow techniques, attitudes, dialogue,
and costumes from other categories. Nevertheless, me archetypes are helpful, because they
express very real differences in the use and distribution of power, in the types of Dominance
and submission they entail, and in the attitude to pain. Like colors, they are instantly
identifiable in their pure forms, but they also take a thousand other forms by blending one with
another.

The Nursemaid. The most affectionate of all the Mistresses, the Nursemaid has charge of a
submissive who pretends to be a naughty but adorable baby ranging in age from newborn to
four or five years old. Sometimes the adult infant
is identified as a Female baby, expressing his sense of his own helpless sweetness and need
for nurture. The Nursemaid coddles, cuddles, and disciplines the child, occasionally also
attending to his health needs by administering an enema. The pleasure for the submissive lies
in lots of attention and total freedom from responsibility. The pleasure for the Dominant lies in
her absolute power and in me sheer fun of playing with a baby.

The Governess. The Governess is unrelentingly stern. She teaches and disciplines a
submissive whose fantasy age may range from schoolboy to college age. Of all fantasies, this
one is probably least explicable to those who do not share its hypnotic charms. The arousal
and the release are not provided by cuddling (as in the Nursemaid fantasy) or by more adult
forms of sexual contact (as is often the case in the three following archetypes), but by the
process of anticipating and experiencing physical discipline. The focus of this fantasy is almost
pure punishment; there is rarely any sexual contact (unless the boy has been caught
masturbating). The submissive takes his pleasure in the punishment itself and the subsequent
release from guilt. The Mistress enjoys her power of inflicting the punishment and her sense of
her own moral superiority.

The Queen. This fantasy allows both partners to feel pampered and special. The Queen,
served hand and foot by her sissy maid, enjoys having the housework done, her personal
desires fulfilled, and every command obeyed. She may be a stern employer, a wicked
secretary who turns the tables on her boss, or an aunt with advanced ideas on teaching young
males respect for the Female sex. In whatever guise, she forces her submissive male to serve
her and render obeisance to the Shrine of her Womanhood. She may also choose to punish
him severely for any breach of decorum.
In token of his respect for Femaleness, the submissive also wears Feminine clothing, which
may range from a hidden pair of sissy panties to full Feminization, up to and including padded
bras and girdles, stockings, dresses, high heels, and wigs. This experience is both an honor
(for, within this fantasy, the Female sex is superior) and a deep shame to him (for, within this
fantasy, all males are unworthy to dress in such garb). The sissy maid, freed from the dull
conformity of masculine attire and societal roles, luxuriates in the soft textures and tender
colors of Female garb, while being voluptuously punished for his forbidden desires.

The Amazon. The relationship between Amazon and slave varies, depending on the scenario
chosen. In some fantasies the two are almost equals; her advantage is that she has captured
him and is preparing to test his mettle as a male by tormenting him in various imaginative
ways. The slave may try to escape or rebel, but he is always recaptured and conquered by the
Amazon's strength and intelligence. In other versions of the fantasy, the submissive is a totally
crushed and obedient slave, tormented just for pleasure. In the first version, the submissive
may actually dare to wrestle his Dominatrix. In either case, the slave's respect for his Mistress
is not the childlike awe of the adult infant or schoolboy or the devoted worship of the sissy
maid or the Goddess's votary. It is compelled by her physical Domination of him, and it
includes both respect and desire. Thus the pleasure of this fantasy lies in the testing and
proving of the Mistress's authority and the slave's submission, plus a healthy dose of sheer
pleasure at inflicting - or receiving - pain.

The Goddess. The Goddess is one of the sweetest of all the Dominant roles a Woman may
assume, for the Goddess is served, worshipped, and obeyed simply because she is a superior
Female. In this role, the Dominatrix may demand hours of oral servitude, foot massage, and
other personal services, and reward them with perhaps a remote smile or a new type of penis
punishment.
Her votary or slave often suffers punishment for various transgressions. He may also be forced
to undergo ritual torments, designed to prove his devotion, but he is also willing to rub, stroke,
lick, massage, and otherwise demonstrate his adoration and respect for his Lady's sacred
flesh. The Goddess is, of course, immeasurably distant from her votary, and he is touchingly
grateful for any mark of her notice, even if it would (under ordinary circumstances) be a
humiliation rather than a reward.

Fantasies In Conflict

Your own preferences are your best guide to what you should try next, along with any
suggestions by your submissive that you care to heed. But what if your fantasies are very
different?

Mistress Kay, a Dominatrix of my acquaintance, is a natural Amazon, eager to overcome her
slave's rebellion and test his manhood. Unfortunately, her submissive, Timmy, prefers the role
of scared schoolboy, baring his naughty bottom for the paddle. Although his fantasy allows her
to heap punishment on him - a process she enjoys - she would also like to extend his
submission to more areas. An Amazon's slave usually has to undergo CBT and verbal
humiliation, which Timmy doesn't care for.
Furthermore, an Amazon's slave is expected to rebel occasionally - even try to escape - so the
Amazon can prove her power by placing him in bondage. Unfortunately, Timmy hasn't the spirit
to rebel. His worst escapade occurred when he dared to stick out his tongue at Mistress Kay.
Although she enjoyed washing out his mouth with soap and giving him a lengthy strapping, she
later came to me, seeking advice.
"He isn't really interested in obeying me," she said angrily. "All he cares about is his stupid
paddling. He tells me he wants to submit, but he always ends up controlling the situation.
Sometimes I feel like giving up."
Knowing Timmy and Mistress Kay as well as I did, I realized that this problem, as upsetting as
it was, could never destroy their relationship. They were very deeply committed to one another.
However, in similar situations, some couples have been unable to work out a compromise and
have subsequently broken up over the choice of fantasy. And it was clear that Kay was
extremely upset. Something had to be done immediately.
I talked to Timmy alone to get his perspective on their problem. "Yeah, I know she wants to do
all those weird things to me," he said. "But I'm a simple guy. I don't want to be tied up and
teased with feathers. All I want is a good spanking and then to have her cuddle me. Why does
she have to force this other stuff down my throat?"
After several lengthy discussions between Kay and Timmy, with advice and help from me and
several other Mistresses, we came up with several solutions to me problem. Timmy could
enjoy his schoolboy status half the time, playing-out Kay's fantasy the rest of the time. He
could combine his preferred games with some elements from hers, while still avoiding the CBT
he dreaded. Or he could continue clinging to his schoolboy fantasy, knowing that Kay was
playing out her Amazon fantasy with other, more pliable submissives.
Faced with these choices, Timmy realized how selfish he was being. He had been so caught
up in the childish fantasy that he was acting like a child about the issue. He and Kay decided to
compromise. He has grown to appreciate the pleasures of bondage and of rebellion, and
Mistress Kay finds it more satisfying to punish him as he desires, knowing that she is going to
get some satisfaction as well.

Hints on Resolving Conflicts

A great deal of the problem between Kay and Timmy was rooted in the fact that they never
discussed they wanted sexually except during the fantasy sessions. Unfortunately, they were
also so deeply embedded in their roles that they couldn't deal with each other as adults who
needed consideration and respect. Kay as apt to be and sound dictatorial, tending to ride
roughshod over Timmy's wants and needs. In turn, Timmy was whiny and uncooperative. Just
like the child he was playing, he wanted what he wanted and he wanted it now!
When they talked over the problem away from the fantasy, Timmy was more able to see that
Kay deserved to have the satisfaction of enacting her favorite scenarios. Likewise, Kay could
understand that Jimmy's resistance rose, not from any indifference to her feelings, but from
defensiveness. He desperately needed the schoolboy scenario, and he was afraid that if he
became an Amazon's slave instead of a schoolboy, he would never get what he needed.
So if you have a conflict over fantasy, wait a day or two to discuss it, and talk it over like adult,
equal partners, not like a Dominatrix with her slave.
Sometimes it helps for each partner to write down his or her ideal fantasy, along with some
reasons why it appeals. A submissive who loves the sheer sensual pleasure of serving a
Queen would list that as a pleasure to him. If his Dominatrix wants to act out a Nursemaid
fantasy, she could make sure that her baby was wrapped in the softest, most Feminine of baby
clothes. A submissive who longs for the intense sensation and sense of overwhelming physical
risk of dealing with an Amazon might have problems with a Mistress whose chief interest is in
being a Queen. Yet, if she emphasizes the humiliation and the danger of dressing in female
clothing, and indulges him with floggings every time he makes a minor slip in serving her, the
two fantasies can work well together.

The key lies in identifying what each fantasy does for the two participants. Although I have
provided a general guide to the pleasures of the fantasies, each individual will have a different
reaction. Talk over what excites you about the fantasy. What else do you feel, along with pain
and pleasure and power?
Often the subsidiary emotions are the most important. For example, Mistress Kay was aroused
by the idea of quelling a rebellious slave; she felt mean just whipping a helpless schoolboy.
When Timmy agreed to be a bit more defiant, both enjoyed the Governess sessions more. For
his part, Timmy felt safe with the schoolboy fantasy, because he knew exactly how much
punishment he would get. He felt too frightened at the idea of being in an Amazon's power to
find it sexually stimulating. When Kay promised him not to go beyond his limits, and faithfully to
release him if he used the safeword, he was more able to relax and enjoy the additional
stimulations of being a captive.

Most fantasy conflicts can be resolved with a little compromise and some adult thinking. Share,
talk, love, and reveal your hearts to one another. Don't fall into the trap of using the fantasy
itself to punish each other. If a conflict comes up in the fantasy world, don't try to resolve it by
longer or harder scenes. Discuss it as adults, as equals, as lovers, as friends. Not as Mistress
and submissive. Using fantasy to avoid conflict only make it worse in the end.

10

THE NURSEMAID:
Diaper Discipline and Other Nursery Tricks

"Heaven lies about us in our infancy! Shades of the prison-house begin to close upon the
growing boy. " - William Wordsworth, "Ode: Intimations of Immortality"

The Mistress who enacts the Nursemaid fantasy enjoys the intoxicating sensation of complete
power over her submissive. Few submissive males are as
readily dominated as the adult baby. Moreover, in this fantasy the Mistress and submissive are
unusually close and intimate; the emotional distance so often part of Amazon and Goddess
fantasies would be completely inappropriate here.
For the submissive, the Nursemaid fantasy is a trip back in time, to the cataclysmic era of
infancy. No baby understands that things change, that what he is experiencing in this moment
is not eternal. To an infant, all sensations are overwhelming: he is totally helpless, totally loved,
totally punished.

The intensity of these feelings is enhanced by his absolute irresponsibility. A baby has no
duties; he cannot serve, work, plan, or decide. All he can do is feel. He luxuriates in
sensations, emotional and physical, piercing, tumultuous, ecstatic. Some of these delights are,
understandably, forbidden to the adult: the warm wet pleasure of soggy diapers, for example,
or the bliss of drinking from a nippled bottle. If modern society permitted such indulgences, no
one would ever any work done; we would all be occupied in counting our toes, sucking our
thumbs, and keeping one hand down our diapers, exploring the various features of our hidden
physiognomy. Also, there would)e no one to change those diapers when they grew chilly and
uncomfortable, to bring us bottles, or to tuck us in at night.

The Elements of Fantasy

The Nursemaid fantasy is designed to make the submissive feel loved and protected, on the
one hand, and thoroughly embarrassed and punished, on the other. In short, to re-create
infancy in all its aspects. A careful Mistress will see to it that the script, costumes, and setting
all maintain the illusion of an all powerful, punitive, yet loving Nursemaid in charge of a
helpless, punished, yet secure baby.

The Script. A simple script is best for this fantasy. While enacting the role of an infant, your
submissive is incapable of making lengthy confession's or performing complex service. You as
Nursemaid will be making all the decisions, which is common among Female Domination
fantasies, but also doing all the work, which is not always true of other fantasy roles. Indeed,
the question of who is really in charge always intrudes on these scenarios. Although the baby
ends up well-punished, he is also a tiny autocrat, demanding food, attention, care, and fussing
from his devoted Nursemaid.
Specific script ideas include the classic Aunt, Nursemaid, and Babysitter scenes; they differ
only in the relationship of the Dominant Female to the infant. This is one of the few fantasies in
which a Mommy figure may take part; Mothers themselves are generally not erotic, though a
powerful Mother figure is important to many Female Domination fantasies.
The submissive's fantasy age may range from newborn infant to three or four years old. Older
children get into more trouble; younger ones require more loving attention.

Costumes. Your adult baby needs many of the costumes a chronological infant finds useful.
First and foremost, he should have diapers. No baby is welldressed without them. Large-sized
diapers for incontinent adults are available in any drugstore; mail-order houses and Internet
sites offer specialty items, such as rubber or plastic pants, cloth diapers, and adult-size baby
clothing. Bibs, smocked dresses, lace caps, booties, and ankle socks may also be needed.
You may wear a nurse's white uniform, complete with white shoes and stockings, or dress as a
teenage babysitter or in other Women's clothing. For the Mommy of a young infant, a snapopen
nursing bra is a nice touch. Exotic dress, heavy perfume, long scarlet nails, and startling
makeup are as out of place here as they would be in any nursery. A sense of warm, clean,
safe comfort is the goal.

Setting and Props. The nursery itself may be any bedroom, but one decorated for an infant,
featuring lots of pink and blue ruffles, lambs and bunnies, and a softly shaded night light is
best. The baby should have toys appropriate to his age and sex; stuffed animals are a favorite,
along with rattles, pacifiers, and books of nursery rhymes for Mommy to read aloud. The only
appropriate music is children's music, either recorded favorites or the Nursemaid's own
lullabyes, sung in the twilight to put baby to sleep.
Of course, no nursery would be complete without a few baby bottles, pacifiers, baby powder,
and a changing surface of some kind. A potty chair is also a nice touch for Nursemaids who
have older charges or who give frequent enemas. Adult sizes are available from medicalsupply
houses; although they are forbiddingly utilitarian, they can be decorated in a nursery
motif. A ruffled skirt is easy m add and won't interfere with emptying the pot itself. A small
wooden chair for comer time, a wooden hairbrush to maintain discipline, and of course an
enema kit are also necessary.

The Skills of a Nursemaid

What makes a Mistress a good Nursemaid? Genuine affection for your charge, no matter how
troublesome he may be, is the first requirement. You may have to discipline his naughty
bottom or teach him the value of good health with a clyster, but your firmness must be
tempered by warmth and care. After all, you are doing this not for your own sake, but for his.

Diapers. If you have ever cared for a chronological infant, you will know exactly what the adult
baby wants and needs. Wearing diapers is ungainly and shameful but warm and erotic for him
as well. Having the diapers changed entails nor just the removal of one garment and the
substitution of another, but all the ritual of washing, drying, powdering, applying ointment, and
so forth. This ritual can be the focus of a great deal of erotic play. It is, in fact, the usual way for
the submissive to achieve orgasm.

Spankings and Comer Time. Nevertheless, you must maintain a strong Authority. When your
submissive throws a tantrum, disobeys your diaper rules, or otherwise displeases you, you
must be prepared to intervene drastically. The classic punishment for such naughty behavior is
a sound spanking, in the classic over-the-knee position, using your hand or a hairbrush.
Caning, strapping, and birching are not to be thought of: too severe for baby's tender skin.
The question of whether to leave diapers on or take them off is frequently debated. Although a
bare-bottom spanking is classic, a soiled diaper is definitely best left on, no matter what
tradition says. A wet diaper might be spanked dry, or me soggy diaper could be pulled down to
expose the damp skin, which increases me sting.
The intensity of an adult infant's spanking should vary with the situation. Ordinary naughtiness
may demand a brief flurry of fairly hard spanks, but a longer spanking should start slow and
build in weight and intensity. (The greater the submissive's excitement, the more pain he can
take.) Confine the smacks to the plump lower portions of the nether cheeks, always
remembering that the sweet spot where a spanking tingles most delectably is in the center of
the lower curve. If the submissive's bottom is cushioned by diapers, you may strike harder.
You may begin with several light stinging smacks, slapping the buttocks briskly to get the
circulation going. Then add a little more force until the buttocks are rosy and the submissive is
reacting with sobs or moans. Finish up with a few heavier, deeper blows, smacking well until
the naughty submissive is thoroughly punished. He may stop wriggling, he may cry real tears
(although this is relatively rare), but he will definitely stop resisting the smacks and become
contrite.
After the spanking, you may make your naughty submissive stand in the corner, holding his
skirts above his waist to display the well-spanked, reddened bottom. For some sub missives,
this position is more humiliating than the spanking itself, but it is only appropriate for an adult
toddler or an older boy. (Babies don't stand.)

Enemas. The diaper seems to lead naturally to the enema (or clyster, a pleasantly oldfashioned
word for the practice). Details of safe, erotic enema administration were given in
Chapter 8, but the Queen's enema (sounds like a bad historical novel) or the purge an Amazon
gives her slave is very different in tone and style from the warm, affectionate nursery clyster.
To make the enema a pleasurable experience, you should decide whether the procedure is a
punishment or a health measure and script the scene accordingly. If it's a punishment, what
was your submissive's crime? Commonly, clysters are mandated to cure the naughty one of
wetting or soiling his diapers; to cleanse him of disobedient thoughts or actions (a clean mind
in a healthy body); to cure temper tantrums; to aid in toilet training; to prevent or punish
masturbation; to soothe fretfulness and colic. All of these reasons serve either the health or the
punishment scenarios, but your script will differ, depending on which you choose.
The health enema should be surrounded by evidence of your solicitous. concern for his wellbeing.
Fuss over him, telling him how much good the enema will do him, how strong and
healthy he will be when he has been thoroughly purged. Never remind him that it will help him
grow up to be a big boy. That's the last thing he wants. Praise him for taking lots of fluid (no
matter how little you are actually giving him) and promise him treats and candy for being so
brave.
The punishment enema should be given in an atmosphere of mixed sorrow and anger. Instead
of praise and solicitude, offer a sad little lecture on how sorry Nursey is that she has to do this,
how the fluid will swell him up and make his tummy hurt, and what dire consequences will
result if he should let even the tiniest drop leak from his naughty bottom. While the submissive
is holding in the
fluid, you may emphasize his punishment by giving him a mild to moderate spanking. The pain
of the spanking, added to the unaccustomed fullness in his burning bowels and his frantic
desire not to disgrace himself with an accident, may be the ultimate thrill for an adult infant.
If you have a potty chair, now is the time to seat him in it. If he persistently holds onto the
enema, threaten him with a spanking, whether it was ostensibly given for punishment or health
reasons. Praise and fuss over him once he has emptied his bowels, telling him that now he'll
be a good (or healthy) little baby. You might even wash him up, though a few Mistresses prefer
to let baby wipe himself.

The Pleasures of a Nursemaid

Singing, cuddling, playing nursery games can be a warm, affectionate, and intimate way of
spending time with your submissive. The Nursemaid enjoys the gentleness of her fantasy
scenario arid the sensual pleasure of touching a man anywhere she desires - with no taboos,
no sexual demands, just power, pleasure, cuddling. Furthermore, the enemas and diapering
provide her with a sense of intimacy as well as the secret joy of playing with forbidden
substances. By totally accepting her submissive's helplessness, his bodily wastes, his tears,
his need for consolation and discipline, the Nursemaid gives him what he needs - and herself
all the power and satisfaction of mothering.

The Needs of a Baby

The needs of an adult baby are not difficult to understand. He doesn't yearn to suffer through
ordeals to prove his manhood. He wants to forget his manhood (with all its associated macho
posturing, cut-throat competition, lies and insincerity, and adult worries) and return to the
simplicity, warmth, and attention he had (or needed) in his earliest years. If you can offer him
affection, attention, and some discipline, he will reward you with pleasant play and great
affection.

Enacting the Scene

Act One: Establishing Your Authority. The adult baby is unlikely to challenge your authority
per se, although he may throw an occasional tantrum. Nevertheless, this stage is cru ial in the
Nursemaid fantasy, not as a test of your Rule, but as a distinctly pleasurable experience in
itself During this time, you may choose to indulge yourself and your submissive in any
combination of the following activities:
-Dressing him in baby clothes
-Diapering (these first two are de rigueur)
-Playing with infant toys
-Playing peekaboo and other baby games
-Putting him down for a nap
-Telling bedtime stories
-Cuddling
-Using a pacifier Bottle feeding
-Feeding him baby food
-Nursing him at the breast
-Tying him to the crib so he won't fall or crawl out
-Toilet training

Act Two: Transgression and Punishment. Sadly, even in the cozy paradise of the nursery,
crime and punishment must obtrude. An adult baby may throw a tantrum, necessitating a
spanking, or he may wet or soil his diapers, making the administration of an enema a desirable
punishment. You may also choose to sentence your submissive to corner time, stammered
apologies, or perhaps slapped fingers.
Begin the punishment with a scolding. Pull the miscreant over your lap and pull up his skirts,
exposing the diaper. Depending on your mood and the condition of the diaper, you may wish to
begin the castigation with the diaper still covering his rosy bottom, later progressing to a barebottom
spanking. With the naughty baby over your lap, lecture him sternly, but in terms he can
understand, telling him how disappointed Mommy [Auntie, Nursey] is with his behavior.
Though it saddens you to be forced to spoil his day with a spanking, it would be far worse to
spoil him for life by not correcting his infant wickedness. Similar techniques are useful in the
administration of the clyster.
The adult baby is usually happy to break down in sobs (not tears) at the threat of losing
Nursey's love. He will be contrite and sweet after punishment, hoping to win back his
Mistress's lost love.

Act Three: Consolation. Consolation for the adult infant is strikingly similar to the
establishment of your authority. It may consist of cud ling, games, kisses, and so forth.
However, to bring the game to a close, you should detect baby's need for a new diaper. While
changing him, you may surreptitiously rub and fondle him, until he wets the diaper in a
somewhat more adult manner.

Variations on the Fantasy

You may choose to use the Nursemaid fantasy as an adjunct to a Governess or even Queen
fantasy. In that case, the Nursemaid emerges as a punishment for some crime in the other
fantasy. A naughty young boy might well be punished for disobedience by a temporary
relegation to nursery status. A sissy maid who is slovenly in his work or dress might be
punished by taking away the maid's uniform, diapering until he wets himself, and (to make sure
no more untoward accidents occur) the thorough internal cleansing of an enema. During the
time that you are conducting the fantasy, you must treat your submissive as an infant. He
cannot be expected to recite lessons or provide maid service now.

11

THE GOVERNESS:
The Power of Discipline

"Management has announced that beatings will continue until morale improves. " - sign on
office wall

The Governess is the purest 'of the archetypal fantasies. Its success is not dependent on
elaborate scripts! fine costumes, or other paraphernalia. To be a good Governess, you must
maintain authority and supply chastisement. That's it.
The charms of this fantasy are almost unexplainable to anyone not a devotee. "Why would
anyone want to be spanked?" ask many confused potential Mistresses. "Doesn't it hurt?"
Yes, it hurts. But many people - not all of them submissive males - find the anticipation,
performance, and aftermath of chastisement to be intensely erotic. The usual explanation is
that rituals of spanking recall childhood punishments that accidentally roused the first fires of
sexuality. However, many spanking lovers were never so punished in their youth. Yet
something has created a voluptuous fascination with the details of punishment. It may be
genetic; many devotees say they've been enthralled with spanking as long as they can
remember.
And this is a very common fantasy, one of the most common. Plenty of Hollywood movies,
romance novels, and old comic strips mention this practice (although often with a Female in
the position of indignity). Clearly the subject of spanking has a sexual dimension for many
people, however little they wish to admit it.

For submissive males, there are plenty of cultural references to keep them in a state of
constant arousal: stories of the canings at British boarding schools, the judicial floggings that
took place even in our own country (the last one was in Delaware in 1952!), and the Singapore
caning of 1994, which demonstrated to many people that a swipe across the butt could indeed
range from a gentle swat to a scarring experience.
Whatever causes this fetish, it is typically almost obsessive. Nobody ever manages to quit the
fantasy for long, and most spankophiles say, despite the pleasures of vanilla sex, that nothing
else provides the same intensity of feeling that a good long punishment session creates. So if
you're in love with a submissive man who wants and needs Governess-style punishment,
either resolve to supply it or consider getting out of the relationship.

The Elements of Fantasy

Minor variations in script, costumes, and setting may add spice to this fantasy, but the central
drama is always the same. However, choosing the right implement can be vital. Read and
study the detailed suggestions given in Chapter 7, making note of all the delicious variations.
Then arm yourself with your chosen implement or implements, and enjoy!

The Script. The basic script is always the same: the schoolboy sins, suffers, and repents. Yet
that structure need not limit your creativity in planning scripts. There are dozens of ways in
which a naughty male might find himself at the mercy of an angry Female with vengeance on
her mind and a paddle in her hand.

Costumes. Some of the classic schoolboy fantasies benefit from good costumes, especially
the Nurse fantasies, which are a special favorite with many submissives. However, most
Governess-style fantasies don't require much in the way of costuming for Dominatrix or
submissive. On the other hand, most submissive males enjoy being disciplined by a Female
wearing a skirt, a slip, or even a corset and stockings.
You may, if you wish, design a special punishment costume for your submissive male,
consisting of a shamefully short baby-doll nightgown. Many schoolboys find Feminization of
any kind extremely humiliating; they don't give it the honor and reverence typical of a sissy
maid or a votary. You may wish to try it on your submissive.

Setting and Props. The setting may be a spare bedroom or any other room in your house. If
your submissive enjoys a full-fledged schoolboy fantasy, a desk and chalkboard are desirable.
You may wish to bend your naughty submissive over the arm of a sturdy couch or chair,
across a table top, or over the end of a bed for his chastisement.
As for props, none are needed for most fantasies except the basic bondage gear and of course
the necessary punishment equipment. Make sure you have a
sturdy wooden hairbrush, a flexible leather strap, and a good paddle. Riding crops. birches,
and cats are really luxuries, although agreeable ones. (The Governess fantasy is usually the
least expensive to set up; the Queen is usually the most expensive, although you have to
factor in the value of the maid service.)

The Skills of a Governess

The skills a Governess needs are covered in glowing detail in Chapter 7, where a multitude of
exciting possibilities are presented for your entertainment and the education of your
submissive. You should read and re-read that chapter, paying special attention to the types of
blows and the signs that your submissive has been sufficiently punished.
But, since you will be doing a great deal of pounding of bare backsides, perhaps a warning is
best placed here. Especially with the narrow, flexible implements - the cane, the riding crop,
the switch, and the birch - you must be careful. Don't start out with full force. Though the blows
may produce real reddening of the buttocks and even occasionally real tears, you don't want to
make scars or open wounds. (Infection is always possible when blood flows.)
Instead of trying to produce submission with raw pain, use psychology. Your submissive wants
and needs the total experience of a spanking, not just the blows on the buns. And the total
experience includes fear, anticipation, tension, respect for the Female, and distress at having
upset her. It may also include rebellion and defiance, which you must put down with a firm
hand, unless he's using the safeword. (If he is, stop the scene immediately!)
Despite the simplicity of this fantasy, you can't get away with aiming half a dozen lackadaisical
smacks (or even a dozen hard ones) at your slave's bottom, while saying in a bored voice,
"Bad boy needs a spanking." Summon some energy and some creativity. Make him scared to
lie over your lap but far more scared to defy you, and you'll have a good scene going.
Additional Penalties. Some schoolboys need additional penalties: punishment writings (think
Bart Simpson, writing 100 times on the board), servitude, corner time, etc. These depend on
the crime, the scenario, your desires, and your submissive's needs. Some schoolboys like to
be Feminized after a serious spanking.

The Pleasure of a Governess

Administering a serious (or even a playful) chastisement can be as exhilarating as a fast walk
on a crisp windy day. It combines all the physical pleasures of any good aerobic exercise with
an intense, arcane eroticism - the naked bottom, ked and helpless; the cries and writhings of
the submissive; the sense of power. To some extent, anything rhythmic reminds us of sex, and
nakedness plus rhythmic force plus that indefinable satisfaction of the Dominatrix in control is
an intensely erotic pleasure.
More than that, the Governess archetype is about administering pain, or painful pleasure. A
Governess whose naughty schoolboy craves punishment has the satisfaction of giving him
what he needs and wants, while feeding the secret darkness in her soul. Coming to terms with
the joys of sadism-a word few spankophiles are comfortable with - is considerably easier when
you have an ardent, eager submissive begging for the lash.

The Needs of a Schoolboy

The punishment the schoolboy craves is physically stimulating and emotionally cleansing. In
submitting to the chastisement, whether it's a brief hand spanking or a lengthy, multiimplement
extravaganza, he seeks not just the rhythmic blows and reddened bottom, but a
mystical sense of losing his will, his identity, and his sins in a gigantic emotional abyss.
The pain, suspense, and fear of a spanking carry him out of his ordinary life and into an almost
druglike state. To reach that nirvana, he goes through a series of changing reactions:
Excitement, physical pain, rebellion, submission, and ultimately peace. The following process
may not hold true for every spanking devotee, but it seems to be accurate for most.

-Excitement. He feels this rising emotion, really a mingling of anxiety and sexual arousal,
during the period of anticipation, when the submissive knows he will be spanked but the
chastisement hasn't started yet.
As the spanking grows closer and closer, anxiety may begin to replace the arousal, and he
could try to get out of the spanking. Unless he uses the safeword, go ahead and spank him, no
matter what he says he wants. He's trying to test your limits, but he would be disappointed if
you didn't give him the whaling he needs.
Try to extend this period as long as you can. The more aroused, excited, scared, and tense he
is before the actual chastisement, the more intimidating it will seem. Since the emotional
catharsis is what he needs, emotional tension is necessary to achieve it. (If this concept isn't
clear to you, go back and reread the chapters on establishing and asserting your authority, as
well as the invaluable advice in Chapter 7.)
You may extend the time with scoldings, descriptions of the dreadful whipping to come, corner
time, and various preparations of the seat of the action. You could tell him that the spanking
will begin in precisely fifteen minutes, and make him stand in a corner, his pants around his
ankles, watching the clock. The whole time he will be anticipating the first bite of the switch into
his unprotected bottom, wondering whether he will be able to bear the pain, and alternating
miserably between wishing the waiting was over and hoping that the time will never pass.
Don't forget to make him fetch the implement (or implements) of his correction and to make
him beg you for chastisement. Then place him in position, binding him if necessary, and delay
some more. Don't start the actual punishment until he's ready to beg you for a whipping, just to
end the suspense.

-Physical Pain. Now that he's in a state of intense emotional arousal, you should give him a
good hard spanking. Whether you begin gently, almost teasingly, or start hard and heavy
depends on your tastes and your submissive's. If you start off hard, the first few blows will
probably break the spell with the shock of their pain. (Remember, the more excited he is, the
more pain you can give him, but also that the longer the punishment, the lighter the individual
blows should be.) While you are spanking, keep up a running commentary on the color, heat,
and probable sting of his buttocks, asking occasionally if he is sorry he was such a disobedient
boy. You may add that if he hadn't committed his crime (do be specific), even now you would
be having a quiet evening, he would be playing games with his friends, or whatever, instead of
being so thoroughly and childishly punished. But he has asked for this paddling, and you must,
however reluctantly, provide what he so clearly needs.

-Rebellion. Under the combined spur of the pain and your remarks, he may rebel, putting his
hands behind him to shield his bottom, trying to crawl off your lap, or otherwise showing that
he won't take the punishment one second longer. As long as he doesn't use the safeword, you
must quell this rebellion. Threaten him with a redoubled punishment unless he settles down to
take his medicine like a good boy. You may have to tie his hands behind his back, strap him
down to a table, or otherwise bind him before you go on.

-Submission. At some point he will stop struggling and accept his punishment. At this point he
knows he was wrong and is willing to accept whatever chastisement you deem necessary.
Start winding down the punishment now.
After the chastisement is done, make sure he kisses the instrument of correction (refusal to do
so means another walloping is in order) and thanks you sincerely for punishing his naughty
bottom. Then you may stand him in a corner or make him perform any of the other additional
penalties.
He may still be sexually aroused, in which case you may permit him to masturbate. Or he may
have ejaculated while the punishment was happening, usually a signal to end the punishment.
As always, some subs will not become sexually aroused during a scene; for them, the scene
itself can be all the satisfaction they need.

-Ultimately, Peace. Having taken his punishment, the schoolboy feels renewed. He has been
spanked and is the better for it. Do it again next week.

Enacting the Scene

Act Two is the heart of this fantasy, but you shouldn't neglect the three-act structure and just
rush into spanking. A well-planned Act One makes a spanking all the juicier, while a good Act
Three rounds off the experience.

Act One. The establishment of your authority may be very brief. You could begin by informing
the lad what his crime is and what his punishment must be. Heighten suspense and
anticipation by taking your time.

Act Two. Spank him!

Act Three. After the chastisement and any subsequent punishment, console your little darling.
Show him that you love him, even though you will continue to apply your hairbrush to the seat
of his problems whenever he is need of correction. Allow him to cry in your arms or to express
his contrition in other ways. (Use your imagination.)

Variations on the Fantasy

The schoolboy may need to become an adult infant or a sissy maid after his spanking. Do
please remember that his stages of correction are also applicable to the punishment of any
other type of submissive. Have fun.

12

THE QUEEN:
Maid Service and Petticoat Punishment

If you were Queen of pleasure / And I were king of pain / We'd hunt down love together... " -
Algernon Swinburne, 'A Match"

The sissy maid happily serving his Queen, doing everything from scrubbing the floors to
serving her tea to giving her hours of oral servitude, is a sight to gladden the heart of any right thinking Dominatrix. His sweet little French maid's costume, complete with ruffled panties and
multi-layered crinoline, perky cap and lacy apron, is the last word in Ladylike attire.
Although his costume may be ultra-Feminine, he is usually a male who lives a life so intensely
masculine that he must make some sort of balance. He answers the need of his Feminine side
by acting her out: dressing, walking, and acting like a Female; by obeying a Woman's
commands; and especially by burying himself in the Shrine of Womanhood. The Chinese
would say that he is soaking up the Yin essence from the sacred spot. The lucky Queen
merely says that he is of all submissives the most adept and eager at oral servitude, and
consequently the most fun to play with.

For the Mistress, the pleasures are manifest: service of a type few people can afford these
days (for a sissy maid will act as housekeeper, Lady's maid, scrub Woman, and sexual
plaything), plus a chance to practice complex and intricately scripted Dominance. The fantasy
offers an amazing range of possibilities, from gentle and affectionate service to severely
punitive ordeals. And the two ends of the spectrum can both be played out in the same
discipline session.
It's no accident that the Queen fantasy is placed at the center of all the fantasies, for this
archetype can comprise all the others. The sissy maid may combine elements from the adult
infant, the schoolboy, the slave, and the votary. And the Queen had better live up to her title
and become a Mistress of all the arts of Domination, from basic bondage and discipline to
commanding worship.

The Elements of Fantasy

Many other fantasies can be played out with thrift-shop goodies and lots of imagination. But
the best costumes, setting, and props are crucial to the success of the Queen fantasy. Your
sissy maid longs for an escape from the drab, harsh male world, into the rich colors and silken
textures of Femaleness. Weighed against the wonderful service he is offering you (and his
undoubted loyalty, especially if you prove to be a skilled and inventive Mistress), even the high
cost of a good maid's outfit, crinoline, and stockings shouldn't faze you. The script, too, should
be rendered with care. A careful, painstaking maid deserves the best of all possible scripts.
Otherwise, you might end up doing your housework by yourself again, cursing every broken
nail.

The Script. Scripting the Queen fantasy depends in large part upon the needs of your sissy
maid. Unfortunately, he is highly unlikely to tell you what they are. Why not? On one level, he
wants only to please you. And that's what he will say, if you should try to ask him
straightforwardly about his fantasy needs.
On a deeper lever, however, he wants you to know by instinct just what he longs for.
Somehow, asking for what he wants oils the experience. It sullies the purity of his service for
you, and makes your Dominance just one more thing he is responsible for.
Luckily, lest you go mad wondering what this man in lace and ruffles wants and needs, you
have another source of information. After years of experience, I can tell you in general what he
desires. (Check the section on "The Needs of the Sissy Maid" for additional suggestions on
how to determine any additional quirky desires.)

His first need - for Feminization - is discussed at length under "The Needs of the Sissy Maid."
His second need is for you to be happy and satisfied with his service. He doesn't just want you
to Dominate him, but to want to Dominate him. He wants a Mistress to dream incessantly of
Ruling him, one who will create new and wonderful scenarios in which he is your plaything or
slave and you are a gleefully wicked Queen.

His third need is for real Dominance. He doesn't want to act out his own fantasy. He wants you
to take charge - and advantage - of him. If you're as softhearted as he is, this can lead to an
impasse, sometimes a tragic one. Brace yourself to be the Bitch; it is actually the only thing
that will please him.

Figure out what household tasks you most detest, what small personal services you most
enjoy, and then fashion your script around his performance of them Some suggestions follow:
-Hand laundry. Sissy maids love washing and rinsing out panties, slips, and stockings. They
will even press them dry with an iron, although this procedure is not advised for nylon undies.
-Minor sewing and mending. Some sissy maids are adept at embroidery, knitting, or other
crafts for which you can take the credit. Others can be taught. Sending him to an evening
sewing class may be advisable.
-Any and all housework, from scrubbing out the toilet to vacuuming the living room. No self respecting or considerate Queen ever does housework except in an emergency.
-Making and serving snacks, tea, or breakfast in bed. "Tea" may be a single cup or a full-fledged
meal complete with cookies and lace napkin. If your friends are in on your activities,
the sissy maid will gladly serve you all, incidentally showing off your fine training and his total
obedience.
-Giving massages, facials, manicures, pedicures, or foot baths. (See instructions for foot baths
in Chapter14.)
-Brushing out your hair, helping you to dress, and anything else a hired Lady's maid would
normally do, including polishing your shoes.
-Carefully shaving the Mistress's legs, armpits, and even pubic area, if the Queen desires. (He
should use a new blade, a great deal of gentleness, and lots and lots of lather.)
-Acting as bath slave. By all means take advantage of this delightful fetish! Few pleasures are
more voluptuous than having a devoted sissy maid soaping and rinsing you, gently drying you,
rubbing your flesh with perfumed lotions, and finally indulging you with body worship and oral
servitude.
And these are only a few of the many delightful services available from a well-trained sissy
maid.

In return, you offer him the Feminization he craves as well as a stern punishment or wicked
ordeal to focus his sensations. Once you've chosen one or two services, you must also choose
a torment to go along with it. The following suggestions may be of help:

-A session of bondage and CBT
-Verbal humiliation, including teasing for his sissy desires
-Intensive interrogation about your submissive's sexual history, fantasies, practices, and most
humiliating experiences
-A spanking, hairbrushing, strapping, or birching for his faults as a maid Physical humiliation,
including water sports (see Chapter 13) or making him serve as a table or hassock for your feet
Again, these are just a few suggestions for painful interludes in your script. You may also
borrow any technique or practice from the other fantasies.

Costumes. Good costumes are essential to the Queen fantasy. You should
be dressed in a way that pleases you: Queens wear anything from leather to nylon slips.
(Although baggy sweat tend to be untantalizing, for some curious reason.) The sissy maid has
a passion for underclothes, and you might do well just to wear bra and panties, or a slip and
stockings.
But for once your costume is less important than your submissive's. He should be clad in the
best maid' uniform you can afford, complete with stockings, corset, ruffled panties, ruffled
crinoline, ruffled apron, and maid's cap. I doubt sincerely that you will find anything remotely
acceptable at the local thrift shop. Unless one of you can sew, you'll have to purchase the
outfit. And that can run into bucks. The only consolations are that sissy maids tend to earn a lot
of money, and that you can buy the outfit one piece at a time. Making each new piece a reward
for good behavior can be a tantalizing process in itself. Each new piece of clothing or
equipment must be accompanied by an elaborate fantasy scenario. The whole outfit could
keep you in scripts for months.

You can also start out by dressing him in genuine Ladies' lingerie. Slip’s, panties, girdles,
corsets, and bras are generally favorites. Most sissy maids prefer candy pink to all other
colors, and they love late and frills. (They also love compression, so a corset is a real
necessity for this submissive.) When you hand your sissy his new lingerie and command him
to put it on, his frisson of embarrassment and arousal will give you quite a thrill.
As for shoes, if his feet are reasonably sized (men's 10 or less), you should be able to find
Women's high heels to fit him. (The specialty houses for transvestites are outrageously
expensive, but they do have sexy designs.) Open-toed styles are best. If you have ever
suffered in spike heels to impress some male, this is your hour of revenge. Savor it.
Try not to get chintzy clothes. Your sissy maid needs to revel in sensuality: the luxurious
texture of fine fabrics, the distinctive taste a d scent of your Shrine, the intense stimulation of
penis punishment.

Setting and Props. The setting and props should carry out the theme of lush, romantic
sensuality. Try to furnish at least one room of your house with taste and perfection; Victorian
style is best suited for this fantasy, as Colonial and modern are too severe. Buy a wicker bed
tray for those maid-served breakfasts in bed. Make everything both of you see, taste, touch,
hear, and smell utterly delightful to the senses. You should sink into a world of carnal
voluptuousness.

The Skills of a Queen

Handling a sissy maid requires you to give commands for every least action, and there's a
great deal of action in the fantasy. Serving you, cleaning your house, washing your panties, all
may grow dull and unenticing for the submissive unless you think ahead and keep the fantasy
flowing.

Your Dominance in this fantasy is nearly total, and you'll need a repertoire of useful skills to
maintain control not only of your sissy's actions but also of his thoughts and feelings.
Verbal Humiliation. As we've noted before, verbal humiliation is more than just profane
abuse. (That's so inelegant.) Subtle teasing and mockery is well-suited to most sissy maids,
but verbal humiliation need not end with your laughing at how ridiculous he looks in drag, trying
to appear Feminine when he's no more than a great, coarse male. Indeed, the best verbal
humiliation may be the humiliating words he says himself. At your command, of course.
Renaming. I hope my attentive Readers have not forgotten all those useful suggestions in
Chapters 5 and 6. You must rename your maid!

The Forced Confession. Do you suspect that he keeps sexual secrets, masturbates without
permission, fantasizes about your friends and family, or commits other violations of your law?
Try forcing a confession from your sissy maid.
This process should be done with the maid in bondage or perhaps kneeling; in some way he
must be forced into a physical position that emphasizes his helplessness and your power.
Then torment him physically - with punishments, discipline, nipple clamps, whatever - while
you interrogate him thoroughly.
You may use a sweet, Feminine voice, or bark questions at him, depending on your personal
style, but make sure you keep up the physical and psychological pressure. Soon the sissy will
crack and confess his naughtiness, for which you must punish him thoroughly. Add additional
torments for forcing you to question him, instead of voluntarily confessing.
This is, incidentally, one of the best ways to discover those quirky needs that are unique to
your sissy maid alone.

The Mantra. The mantra is your submissive's repetition, over and over, of a fact he finds
almost intolerably shameful. You must dictate the wording. Again, this should take place during
painful stimulation; it also works exceedingly well when you are allowing your sissy maid to
have an orgasm. Some sample mantras:
-"I am Mistress Loreleis panty slave. "
-"I love Mistress Loreleis panties. "
-“I am a sissy who deserves to be whipped. "
-“I want a panty cocktail. I need a panty cocktail. "
-"Please torture me, Mistress Lorelei. "
Feel free to make up your own mantras. Focus on whatever most intensely arouses and
embarrasses your submissive.

Scoring Systems. No, this isn't a sure-fire way for frat boys to get laid. (What kind of book do
you think this is?) It's a system to classify and record all the potential merits and demerits your
sissy maid could earn. Being judged is both seductive and shaming for the average sissy maid.
(They also tend to be perfectionists unforgiving of their own faults and flaws.) If you keep score
of those minor faults, weighed against his service, your sissy maid will be thrilled and blushing
to hear how he's doing.
Of course, any room improperly cleaned, any service not performed to perfection, any fault of
posture or failure of obedience, and you must make your maid redo the whole thing from
scratch, in addition to suffering the usual penalties of discipline. Likewise, if he doesn't endure
his punishments well, you should start over.
A few hints. Faults must be worth far more demerits than the submissive could ever possibly
offset by serving well. Consequently, the submissive always owes you more service, deserves
more punishment, and needs more training. (Punishment is one way to work off demerits;
service, including rendering obeisance to your Shrine, is another but slower way.) He can
never be allowed to get away with a positive score. Only when merits and demerits are even
should he be permitted an orgasm. As harsh as this system sounds, he'll eat it up.

Physical Humiliation. Physical humiliation is not limited to punishment, although you may
wish to discipline your sissy maid as you would any other submissive. Certain specific
practices are effective ways to reinforce his identity as a maid while rendering him acutely
embarrassed. Enjoy.

Panty Slavery. The panty slave has a thousand and one uses for your dirty panties, the riper
the better. He wears them on his head, has them stuffed in his mouth as a gag, is forced to
don them himself (if your sizes are compatible), and has to masturbate into them. He may also
be forced to carry them one by one in
his mouth to the bathroom sink, where he must hand-wash them, rinse them, iron them dry,
fold them, and put them away, before he returns for the next pair.
Although the same tasks may be done with bras, girdles, slips, or stockings, panties have the
most powerful charm, for they are in direct contact with your tantalizing Shrine.
The Panty Cocktail. This task is so special it must be dealt with by itself. To make a panty
cocktail, ball a pair of strong-scented panties in your slave's mouth. Then slowly pour warm
water, possibly spiked with a little urine of yours, into his mouth. (You may pour directly,
although a large funnel held in his teeth can make the scene less messy.) The fluid will be
filtered through the panties, picking up their taste, and your submissive will swallow it. Voila, a
panty cocktail!

Furniture Imitations. Make your sissy maid kneel on the floor and act as a small table (set a
few magazines or a flower vase on him) or as a footstool. If he's not perfectly still, smack him
into line with a wooden paddle, complaining about having to fix the furniture.
Shaving Body Hair. Already covered in Chapter 8, but do"try it on your
sissy maid. His hairlessness is your badge of possession.

Maid Training. Force your maid to curtsy twenty times in a row, to walk in high heels with a
book on his head, to do any of the other thousand embarrassing things that will train him to be
a useful maid. Maid training can go on indefinitely, and you may return to certain skills at
intervals to polish them up. 

The Pleasures of a Queen

Having someone else do the housework - thoroughly, perfectly, at your command, while you
relax and buff your nails - is such a common Female fantasy that it's not even kinky. But mere
housework isn't the only satisfaction for the Queen. Detailed, lavish pampering combined with
limitless power is undoubtedly erotic for many of us. And transforming a man into a painted,
primping simulacrum of a Female can be extraordinarily liberating. Though it may make you reexamine
exactly what masculine and Feminine qualities mean, it can also reassure you that no
matter how much powder he wears, the central Female power that men envy is always yours.

The Needs of a Sissy Maid

A sissy maid needs control and discipline, as do all sub missives, but mostly
he needs to slip into a glittering world of Feminine sensuality and unmasculine passivity, where
he has no responsibilities to think and choose, only to carry out your orders, and where
punishment for any infraction is swift and certain.

The dynamic of this fantasy is fascinating. It really does crop up most often in males who work
in almost exclusively masculine environments (sports, high-level government, engineering and
computers, huge corporations, the armed forces). Although many of these employers have had
to admit a few token Women over the years, they have not admitted any Feminine
characteristics at all. They remain appallingly phallocentric (and therefore lopsided and
ineffective, but that's neither here nor there).

And many of their brightest, most creative and far-seeing men - men who draw their brilliance
from their mix of masculine and Feminine energies - feel so strained by the distortion of their
natural equilibrium that they use this fantasy to restore their balance. The sissy maid is a male
who so deeply honors Femaleness that he loves - and needs - to imitate it.
However, lest you worry that your husband is going to turn into a Girl and leave you with a best
friend but no man, I should inform you that virtually no sissy maids are transsexuals. A man
who dares express his Feminine side so openly is a man totally secure in his masculinity.
When he's not being a sissy maid, he still has that deep appreciation of sensuality and that
intense desire for cunnilingus, but he'll express it in vanilla sex of breathtaking skill and passion

Individual Quirks. Your sissy maid may have needs I haven't mentioned. Perhaps he longs to
incorporate some of the other fantasies into this one, or has a particular type of fantasy that he
enjoys acting Out. Snoop around, looking for the notebooks in which he pastes clippings, the
magazines featuring his favorite type of Dominatrix, and any other evidence of his kinky
desires. You may also try interrogation techniques, forced confessions, and so on. Also, try out
different scenarios. You'll never know what will hit his hot buttons.

Forced Feminization. To counterbalance the desert of machismo in which the poor man daily
swelters, he needs to refresh himself with a turn into Femininity. The more macho his
environment, the more Feminine his reaction must be. A real Woman (unless she's a beauty
contestant) can relax and not be a frosting covered sweetheart all the time, but your sissy maid
is likely to go all out, for the gooeyest possible version of Femininity.
Some of the Feminizing process your sissy maid welcomes may unpleasantly remind you of
the good-Girl shackles you have learned to break. Remember, although you almost certainly
had to rebel against being sweet, passive, and dependent, lest you choke on your own
weakness, your submissive needs to learn these skills and qualities, lest he starve for affection
and attention. You're both seeking balance, but in opposite directions.
Actually, the texts of how to be a good Girl and an obedient Wife - such as Marabel Morgan's
nauseating "The Total Woman" or Helen B. Andelin's loathsome "Fascinating Womanhood" -
can be read with profit by your sissy maid. (I hope they're out of print. Try a used bookstore.)
Personally, I love the ironies involved. My marriage was indeed made happier by these Ladies'
advice, but I was not the one who needed to abandon my personhood and submit in a swoon
of ecstatic dependence. My strong, stalwart husband (the one with the macho job 2Dd the
overwhelming responsibilities) was the one refreshed by temporarily dissolving into a puddle of
sweet submissiveness. I hope Marabel and Helen are pleased. I know I am.

Feminine Clothing. Female clothing, especially lingerie, is drenched in the magical essences
of Femininity. For the sissy maid, they symbolize not only their rightful owners, but also all the
freedom, all the privileges he envies in Females.
Don't get huffy! (I hear you muttering about male privilege.) Despite centuries - millennia - of
oppression, Women do have some advantages. We get to cry. We are allowed to be afraid,
sad, protected, dependent, and spoiled in ways that little boys are never permitted. Little Girls
are allowed to wear ruffles and lace (whether they want to or not), to dab on some of Mamas
perfume, to play dress-up with Mamas makeup and. clothing. If they have a brother, he may
watch in anger and frustration as they enter this Female world, especially if his Sisters and
Mother enjoy teasing and mocking him for wanting to join them in the fun. Do all little boys
want to play dress-up? At first, before they learn that it's considered a sissy thing to do.
In short, Females don't have the terrible burden of maintaining masculinity at all times. We are
freer to move in and out of sex roles. We have a wider range of expression and emotion, even
before we become good Feminists and full human beings. Is it any wonder that sensitive,
intelligent little boys should envy us that freedom and range? Or that the little boy mocked in
the 1960s for being a sissy might become a shame-filled, curtsying sissy maid thirty years
later?
For most submissives, Female dress is both a humiliation and a privilege. The sissy maid
knows he doesn't deserve to wear the silken, ruffled garments of the superior sex, but he longs
to taste their magic anyway. Consequently, just dressing him in Female clothing is erotic.
Naturally, a chastity device is really needed under those layers of clothing, to make him feel
more Feminine still.

Enacting the Scene

Your sissy maid tends to need longer, more elaborate scenes than some submissives. Your
sense of power and control, and his of submission and shame, grow deeper every minute of a
well-planned session.

Act One. Establish your authority by dressing him in garments of your choosing. You should
then give him a list of commands (typewritten, by preference) and set him to the task or two
you've chosen as suitable for today's session. Hover nearby, criticizing his performance of
duties, noting down any flaws on your scoring sheet, and threatening dire consequences for
his carelessness and clumsy masculine ways.

Act Two. Now is the time to make good on those threats. Whatever the punishment or ordeal
you choose - and you may try spankings, CBT, bondage, or water sports, in addition to the
specifically Queen like acts of panty slavery, etc. - you should make certain he knows that his
inadequate efforts to be Feminine have displeased you, and that you intend to train him as a
thoroughly Feminine maid before long. He will be revealed to everyone as the sissy he is.

Act Three. After such intense punishment, many submissives would long for orgasm and
consolation. Your sissy maid deserves a reward, too, but oral servitude is more in line with his
- and your - real needs. After proving himself so well (or suffering such wicked punishment),
the sissy maid should be allowed to serve you at length. Finally you may permit him to
masturbate into your panties, perhaps while chanting a mantra of his panty slavery or while
answering humiliating questions.

Variations on the Fantasy

The Queen fantasy is both domestic and savage, bridging the gap between
the pleasant and tender relationship of a Nursemaid and her charge and the open, gleeful
sadism of an Amazon with a captive. You may include scenes from any fantasy in your
scenarios. Especially appropriate are the ordeals described at length in the Amazon chapter,
the foot worship due a Goddess, and the diapering of an adult infant. Although some sissy
maids enjoy extended schoolboy-type punishments, some do not. Remember, sissies are
more aroused by shame and humiliation than straight pain. Any pain involved must be given a
shameful dimension before it will stir his loins.

13

THE AMAZON:
Bondage, Discipline, and Humiliation

"She was an Amazon. Her whole life was spent riding at breakneck speed along the wilder
shores of love. " - Lesley Branch

If, before opening this book, you were asked to describe your mental image of a Dominatrix,
you would probably have described an Amazon: skin-tight black leather corset, liberally
studded in steel and draped in chains; steeple-heeled thigh-high leather boots, perhaps
equipped with spurs; carrying a whip in one long-nailed hand and a cigarette in an ivory holder
in the other. You might have added other popular perceptions: that the slim, leggy Female clad
in leather and steel is a tall, blonde, highly paid prostitute.

That's an Amazon, all right. An Amazon, not the Amazon.

To take the last image first, very few Mistresses are prostitutes; even the Female Dominants
who are professionals do not allow their clients to have sex with them. They offer a highly
specialized service for which they are well paid, and they don't need to sell "plain vanilla" sex.
Then, the Amazon, amateur or professional, may be a tall, leggy blonde, or she could be a
dumpy brunette or a positively Rubenesque redhead. You don't have to stand six feet tall and
weigh 120 pounds to be a happy and effective Amazon. Finally, you don't have to wear enough
chains to give you a dowager's hump or enough leather to reupholster a couch and chair. If
this fantasy appeals to you, don't shy away from it on the grounds that you don't fit the image,
you hate high heels, or you haven't got the cash to dress in leather head-to-toe.
Remember, you are in charge. This is Female Dominance, not Madison Avenue Dominance.
You can dress as you please, look like yourself and still enjoy your natural position of authority.
Of course, many Women love the sensual look and feel and smell of fine leather (I do myself,
though I prefer cinnamon suede with bronze or copper to the traditional black leather and
steel). Some Amazons enjoy wearing six-inch heels; I loathe them, but I don't expect everyone
to agree with me. If a Dominatrix can't be an individual, what Woman can be?
This fantasy may be enhanced by the proper costumes and props, but you get to decide what
these are. For there is no single Amazon fantasy, just as there is no single way to be a Queen
or a Nursemaid. The Amazon is not defined by figure type but by a certain kind of power
relationship between Mistress and slave.

What is that relationship? It is a contest of wills, for in this fantasy the submissive is a
rebellious captive and nearly an equal to the Dominatrix. Playing an Amazon can be a
wonderful experience, for it calls on all your reserves of energy, courage, fierceness, and will.
Your submissive will enjoy it too, for he can keep his manhood and self-respect after being
conquered by such a powerful Mistress. In fact, the more he esteems your power, the more
self-respect he keeps! So respecting you is essential to his peace of mind.

The Elements of Fantasy

Given the basic dynamic - between a powerful Female and a male who is
not quite her equal - the Amazon fantasy can work itself out in a thousand different ways. I've
included a long list of suggestions for the two characters in the section entitled "Script," but you
may be able to come up with a unique twist. The setting, props, and especially costumes will
depend on the fantasy roles you choose.

The Script. The Amazon fantasy offers unparalleled opportunities to vary your scripts and
make the fantasy personally satisfying. Who have you always wanted to be? What Heroine or
Female Villain would you like to become? The list below is only a sample of the richness
available. Let your imagination run wild! The Mistress may be:
-A secretary turning the tables on her evil boss (as in the movie "Nine to Five") A -Female
pirate terrorizing the captain of a ship she has seized
-A pagan Ruler evaluating a prisoner of war's potential as a sexual plaything
-Catherine the Great of Russia doing ditto
-A cowgirl roping an obnoxious male colleague and taking him down a peg
-An Indian Princess taking revenge on an exploitive white settler
-A Female Revolutionary tormenting her male hostage (naturally, he's a spoiled member of the
corrupt ruling party)
-A Nurse handling an obstreperous patient
-A Warrior Queen grilling a captive spy
-A Space Alien testing human male sexual response
- A Courtesan (in any time period from Ancient Greece to today) teaching an
inconsiderate lover the proper way to treat Females
-A Wife punishing a neglectful or unfaithful husband
-A Tenant instructing a landlord on the negative consequences of sexual harassment and no
heat
-A Sister teaching her brother not to be a Peeping Tom (can also be done as cousins,
neighbors, schoolfellows)
-A Female Knight persuading fellow-soldier not to reveal her gender (may also work with wars
in other times)
-An Abbess tormenting a wicked monk A Female Warden guarding a prisoner
-A Witch interrogating a judge who persecutes Witches
-A Sultana punishing the male who has dared to invade her harem
-A Victorian belle teaching a would-be seducer to respect Ladies
-A Lady Wrestler proving her superiority over her male rival
-A leather-clad Dominatrix, complete with studs and chains and spike-heeled boots, teasing
and tormenting her love slave
-Wonder Woman or Tank Girl and a miscreant
-An Author getting revenge on an editor, reviewer, or plagiarist

From this partial list, you can see that the Amazon fantasy offers a wide range of roles for both
Domme and submissive. The only fantasy I advise against is the one in which the male
submissive plays a rapist being caught and tortured by his victim; the danger here is not that
he might decide to commit a real rape but that you could be overwhelmed with fury, lose the
sense of erotic play, and really hurt him. On the other hand, that may be just the fantasy to turn
on you and your love slave. The decision is yours; after all, you're the Mistress.

Costumes. Given the spectrum of possible fantasy roles, you could dress in anything from a
harem outfit to an Armani suit, and your submissive's clothing range is just as wide. All I can
say about costumes is that they should fit the fantasy and they needn't cost the earth. Yard
sales and thrift shops offer all kinds of goodies. So do costume shops; every big city has them,
and they sell or rent a wide variety of clothing. Watch for spring sales, when they clean out
their old stock; you could get great clothes for very little. You can always use your imagination
and whatever craft skills you possess to adapt, decorate, or create gorgeous outfits for you
both.
But there is still one special segment of costuming that is significant in Female Dominance
games. No, not leather.

Shoes and Boots. Of all the symbols of Female Dominance, spike-heeled leather shoes (or
boots) are probably the single most powerfully evocative of the Feminine Regime. The high
heels add to a Woman's height, slim and elongate her legs, and change her stride into a
swaying, mincing amble exceedingly provocative to males. And additional details may also be
seductive. Lace-up boots imply bondage and corsets. Tight black leather, vinyl, or latex not
only outline and enhance the curves of the leg, the materials themselves are connected with
erotic games. Dark, shiny, clinging materials form a sort of superskin, suggesting all kinds of
wicked delights within - and if genuine leather is used, the aroma alone is alluring.
Even off the Female foot, a Woman's high-heeled shoes (or boots) are instantly recognizable
as fetishes or sexual icons. They are so different in shape, size, cut, and color from a male's
utilitarian oxfords that they naturally evoke Femininity in its most extreme form. They become a
fetish, an object that displaces a person as a focus for sexual fantasy. And like all fetish items,
shoes or boots first remind the fetishist of the Female he desires, then embody the excitement,
and finally become arousing on their own.
Although fetishes can be developed for many items of Female attire - from the quaint Victorian
passion for gloves or handkerchiefs to the modern lust for, panties, slips, and corsets - shoes
are virtually the only form of outerwear that has attracted much sexual attention. The reasons
seem clear enough. A Woman's shoes (at least the fetish variety) are decorative, not utilitarian.
(Has anyone developed an unconquerable passion for battered, mud-stained sneakers?
Possibly one or two imaginative males. But most go for shiny spike-heeled pumps.)
Even the shape is inherently lascivious; seen from above, a Woman's shoe is remarkably
suggestive of the Female genitalia. For centuries shoes have been recognized as a symbol for
the Lady's Shrine. Remember the tiny, tight-fitting glass slipper in Cinderella? How about the
young ladies who danced all night, wearing out their shoes, in the Hans Christian Andersen
story, "The Red Shoes"? Or the shot of the snake slithering through an open-toed shoe in
Raiders of the Lost Ark?
Given the tantalizing possibilities of shoes and boots, the Mistress's selection of footwear can
be crucial. Some Amazons - wealthy or professional pay thousands of dollars for custommade,
thigh-high, spike-heeled black leather
boors at fit like a second skin. Other Mistresses wear less expensive vinyl boots, and still
others prefer high-heeled shoes. If you love shoes, this is a wonderful fantasy for you. If you
don't - and I admit to being a Domme who prefers to work barefoot or in sneakers - you can
still be an Amazon anyway.

Setting and Props. Having chosen a script, a costume, and (if you like) some lascivious
footwear, you need to consider the setting and props suited for your fantasies.
The Amazon's most common setting is called a dungeon. You needn’t live in a half-ruined
Gothic castle to play Amazon games, however, or even to furnish a well-equipped dungeon.
Imagination and some basic purchases can go along way toward converting your classic fifties
ranch house into the lair of a Female Pirate, the harem of an outraged Sultana, or the bedroom
of Catherine the Great. Most people seriously involved in Dominance games convert a spare
bedroom or part of the basement into a playroom. Aside from the bondage gear described in
Chapter 8, you should have eyebolts screwed into the walls at the level of your submissive's
ankles, knees, waist, and outstretched hands, so you can chain him the wall. A Sturdy straight
chair is useful for seated bondage and over-the-knee spankings. A four-poster bed is nice to
have.
I could fill a book with optional equipment, but here are a few specific suggestions:
- atmospheric lighting, ranging from red spotlights to oil lamps (well out of the way of the lash)
- a padded horse for whippings, canings, and birchings
- a set of homemade stocks
- a long, low couch or bench
- a massage table or a gym-style slantboard
- a sling (attached to sturdy joists only; you don't want the ceiling to come down!)

Although this equipment can be fun, allowing you to play out many fantasies and perform
various types of bondage and discipline, it's also unnecessary. You would do better to start
simply, with the basic suggestions, and save the more athletic and expensive equipment for
later, when you're sure what you will need and want. A basement crammed with costly black
leather is no substitute for a vivid imagination and a lively sex drive.
The same goes for props. Aside from the basic disciplinary equipment that you must have (see
Chapter 8), most high-priced props are unnecessary. By all means, choose the pieces that
best enhance the atmosphere you want to create. Smoky incense, along with an exotically
patterned sheet thrown over the bed, can turn any room into a harem. But for your harem
fantasy, you need not buy a thousand-dollar carpet, a six-foot brass water pipe, and an
eighteenth-century divan.
Although authentic props are fun, they can also be expensive. Watch for thrift-shop goodies
that can be adapted to several different fantasies. If you have one or two favorite fantasies that
you play out often, you can collect specific props that seem appropriate. And, in fact, many
Mistresses possess no more props than the basic bondage and discipline equipment.

The Skills of an Amazon

Perhaps more than any other archetype, the Amazon uses bondage to work her will. Study
Chapter 8 with care and attention. You'll need to understand how to get a male tied up and
how lo g you may keep him in one position.
As to what to do with him while he's in your clutches, you may borrow activities from the other
archetypes, or you may exploit the special power relationship of the Amazon and her slave.
These may be expressed in the specific set of activities called water sports - which you mayor
may not want to perform as well as in two kinds of discipline: punishment and ordeal.

Water Sports. Half my Readers are probably saying "Goody!" while the rest are saying
"Gross!" to the idea of playing with urine. No one will make you produce golden showers if the
thought grosses you out of existence. (You are, after all, the Mistress.) If you're freaked, you
may skip this section and go on to "Punishment and Ordeal."
But you may be curious or aroused by the thought of water sports, and in any case I grant you
the freedom o make your own choices. Whether you play piss games or not, you have a right
to know about them. Anyway, if you read the Queen chapter, you've already encountered a
watered-down version of this in the panty cocktail.
Urine is a taboo substance and therefore one possessing great power to shame, thrill, excite,
and subjugate your slave. It is associated in almost everyone's unconscious mind with those
confusing days of potty training; with modesty, shyness, early sexual explorations of "down
there," vaguely or specifically sexual feelings, and sometimes with pain and fear; and with
issues of pleasure versus discipline, pleasing Mama versus pleasing yourself, the social order
versus the individual.
That's a hell of a lot of freight for a simple bodily function to carry. And for males the act is even
more specifically sexual; lacking our superior equipment, they must urinate with their sex
organ, an overworked cylinder that also expresses their social and job status (haven't you
heard men bragging and trying to top one another in the status game they themselves call
"measuring dicks"?). Slang terms for the penis also are synonyms for an unpleasant person
(prick, putz, schmuck) or an idiot (dork, dick, lobcock). No wonder they enjoy water sports. It's
easier to stand in a golden shower than think about the implications of having two balls and a
penis that mayor may not stand up when you want it to.
The first thing you need to know is that human urine is sterile or nearly so, unless you happen
to have hepatitis or a bladder infection. It won't poison you or your submissive. You can drink it
or splash it around without causing hairy palms, birth defects, freezer burn, or anything except
possibly a little psychosomatic nausea if your slave is squeamish.
On the other hand, it is wet and sometimes aromatic, it can water-stain carpets and upholstery
fabrics, and it's messy. So you might want to limit your water sports to the bathroom, an easily
mopped rec room or basement, or the great outdoors. Piss play on a white velvet couch is
probably a bad idea. Using a child's plastic pool is both cheap and easy to clean up.
If you plan to tryout water sports, do discuss them with your submissive beforehand. He may
not be turned on at all, and he does deserve a vote, even if it's not the deciding vote. If you
agree to try, you should prepare yourself by drinking lots of water earlier in the day.
Caffeinated beverages act as a diuretic. So does beer, but you should never combine alcohol
or drugs with Dominance play.
What can you do with golden showers? You can force your slave to kneel in the tub while you
stand over him and spray him with your water straight from the source. You can bind him and
hold a champagne glass to his lips, brimming with your urine (or even containing just a sip of it)
and force him into drinking it, either as punishment or as an ordeal. You can make him kneel
while you piss straight into his mouth or into a funnel held in his lips.
All the suggestions so far involve you providing the golden fluid, but you can also force him to
wet himself, to drink his own urine, or even to wash himself in it. You may want to force him to
drink a great deal of water or coffee, or you can even tell him he has PMS and make him take
Midol, which is both humiliating and effective.

Punishment and Ordeal. Both punishment and ordeal make use of the same repertoire of
restraints, smacks, lashes, pinches, cock tortures, verbal humiliation, and physical humiliation.
The difference between them is the purpose of the pain.
Although the discussion that follows offers various differences between the two activities,
remember that in the real world (which includes acted-out fantasies, rather than those left as
dreams), few things are pure and simple. Most punishments include a hint of the ordeal, and
most ordeals also serve some of the purposes of punishments. The guidelines below are
designed to help you understand how to plot and script your sessions and what specific things
you can do for your own pleasure and the benefit of your submissive.
Punishment exists to break a submissive male's resistance, so that he humbles himself before
you in a agonizing ecstasy of submission. To that end, you use the intense stimulations of
pain, humiliation, and terror to propel him beyond his workaday self - controlled, reserved, and
unemotional - through the walls of conventional masculinity and into a world where he can feel
and be, where he can expiate his sins and safely experience the terror he would ordinarily hide
from.
In punishment, the pain is a means to an end: it helps him "burst into that silent sea" and
finally, if only for an hour, feel. It purges his guilt - guilt he may never let himself experience in
ordinary life. For punishment to be effective, you must breach his defenses. In other words, the
result you desire is his total capitulation. Only then can he be free and at peace.
Ordeal is somewhat different. Using those same intense forms of stimulation - pain,
humiliation, and terror - the ordeal strengthens a submissive male's defenses, makes him surer
of his masculinity, proves his worthiness. He still feels the pain and shame deeply, right down
to the bone, faces them and conquers them and proves his endurance. The ordeal may be
designed to prove his devotion to you or to test his manhood.
The pain of an ordeal - and there is usually considerable pain involved - is not designed to
break through the slave's barriers but to test him, to show just what he can bear. For an ordeal
to be effective, you must inform your submissive what torments he will be facing (a step which
adds fear and suspense, but also gives a specific goal or benchmark for him to strive for) and
you must make him believe that the goal is beyond the endurance of most men. Only having
proved himself in a trial by fire will the slave be happy and at peace.

The Pleasures of an Amazon

The Amazon fantasy, probably the best-known image of the Mistress, is also I the place where
Domestic Discipline comes closest to the traditional Leather I community. A good many
Leatherwomen could classify themselves as Amazons, if they cared to, but they need not act
out any of the roleplaying scenarios that are at the heart of Domestic Discipline. They simply
enjoy flogging for its own sake not as punishment, real or feigned, but as pure sensation. Their
play partners don't pretend to be captive slave boys; they are men who want to surrender to a
Woman, or who even prefer to get the sensation of a scene without submitting at all.
Given the freedom from scripts and expectations, the Amazon and the Leatherwoman can
enjoy the blissful spontaneity of doing exactly what she likes with a willing partner who is
willing to follow her lead into the darkest jungles of pain, pleasure, and desire.
Even if you are more comfortable with the role playing approach of Domestic Discipline, you
can find wonderful freedom in being an Amazon, as well as the exhilaration of exercising
sensual power over a willing submissive.

The Needs of a Slave

In this section, I have tried to draw a distinction between submissive males who need
punishment and those who need an ordeal. But remember that these are rough guidelines,
that a man's needs change depending on mood and circumstance, and that the two categories
most often overlap.

The Slave Who Should Be Punished. To make a broad generalization, the submissive man
who needs (or prefers) punishment has usually locked away his Feminine side almost
completely. He tends to deny that he has problems of any son, and may not be adept at
discussing emotional issues. He may be uncomfortable with and deeply shamed by any form
of Feminization. And he may not be especially pro-Feminist outside-his Female Dominance
fantasies.
He is most likely to enjoy the Nursemaid and Governess fantasies and the rougher end of the
Amazon and Goddess fantasies, especially those practices designed to have a great deal of
humiliation attached. He may clamor for intense birchings or lengthy spankings, for watersports,
or for boot worship. He may have some secret guilt about sex that is absolved by pain
and Female Dominance.

The Slave Who Should Be Put Through an Ordeal. To make a broad generalization, the
submissive man who needs (or prefers) ordeal is usually well in touch with his Feminine side,
though at some wordless level, he may feel a bit ashamed of his own Feminine components,
because none of the other guys seems to be troubled with, well, you know, feelings. Although
in public he may seem pleasantly extroverted and one of the guys, he secretly tends toward
self-doubt and introspection. With a Woman he loves he will usually be openly affectionate and
emotional. He may long for Feminization, feeling it both an honor and a humiliation. He is more
likely to identify himself as a Feminist outside his Female Dominance fantasies.
He is most likely to enjoy the Queen and Goddess fantasies, sometimes the nursemaid
fantasy, and the more egalitarian Amazon fantasies. He may love Feminization and is your
best bet for truly lengthy and voluptuous foot worship and oral servitude, both vaginal and anal.
He loves, honors, and respects the Feminine, and simply needs to have his own maleness
tested by pain.
Or, quite frankly, he may just love sensation play for its own sake. It feels good. Even the pain
feels good. And he needs it, wants it, and is willing to do almost anything to get it.

Enacting the Scene

The structure of the Amazon fantasy follows the classical three-act structure with gorgeous
fidelity. The only real variation is whether you choose to fill Act Two with an ordeal or with
punishment. However, given the wealth of possible roles for both of you, you could play out
this fantasy twice a week for twenty years without repeating a script. (By the way, you should
save your scripts/and notes in a safe place! You never know when you might need one.)

Act One. The script itself naturally depends upon the fantasy character you're playing. You
may wish to act out the whole scenario (from capture on), or start with a bound and helpless
male. In either case, you have to let him know who you are (and who he is, incidentally), why
he is under your control, what you ultimately plan to do with him, and what sufferings he is
likely to undergo on his way to that denouement.
Then bind him in a helpless position (preferably one suitable to the script) and either prove that
you are in charge (by demanding oral servitude, boot worship, or what you will) or proceed to
the punishment or ordeal of Act Two.

Act Two. Now you must apply whatever disciplinary measures seem most efficacious. If you
are testing your slave through an ordeal, explain what privileges he will be allowed if he comes
through the trial by fire without whimpering or moving (or whatever you have decided). Also
advise him on the awful penalties you will exact if he fails to endure.
If you are punishing a slave, inform him of his sins and transgressions and let him know
whether you want to hear him cry out in pain. You need not inform him of the consolations in
store when he has been thoroughly punished.
Whether you're inflicting punishment or designing an ordeal, you should consider bondage,
verbal humiliation, and CBT, perhaps followed by a flogging. You may end up with water sports
of some sort. You could also borrow the Queen's panty cocktail or the Goddess's boot or foot
worship.
Whatever you choose, choreograph it carefully, so as to keep your slave's suspense rising and
his body fully stimulated.

Act Three. Having endured punishment or an ordeal, your slave may need to be consoled or
to demonstrate his new devotion to you. You may demand extended oral servitude (a privilege
for which your slave may have suffered his ordeal), or you may allow him to reach orgasm by
masturbation.
You may decide instead to have ordinary intercourse with him, especially if his ordeal was
designed to test whether he was worthy to mate with you. Provided he passed the test, I see
no objection to your binding him to the bed, mounting him, and providing you both with
pleasure. This is your scene, and you can do anything you like with him, as long as it's safe,
sane, and consensual.

Variations on the Fantasy

The Amazon fantasy may be readily adapted by bringing in elements from any of the other
fantasies. As part of the punishment or ordeal, you may treat your slave as an infant, a
schoolboy, or a sissy maid. You may demand the lengthy worship suitable to a Goddess.
You may also export Amazonian actions and attitudes, especially to the Queen and Goddess
fantasies. If your submissive is an adult infant or a schoolboy at heart, however, he is unlikely
to enjoy the heavy bondage that is so distinctively Amazonian.

14

THE GODDESS:
Keeping a Worshipper at Your Feet

"Drunk with fire, toward Heaven advancing, Goddess, to thy shrine we come." - Friedrich van
Schiller, "Ode to Joy"

The Goddess fantasy can be extraordinarily satisfying to both the Dominatrix and her slave.
She receives a great deal of loving touch and sexual worship; he has the pleasure of extended
touching of a superior Female, as well as the acknowledgment of his own unworthiness. Pain
may not even be involved, although some ritual punishment or trial by fire (not usually literal, of
course!) may well be part of the scenario.
This fantasy also has Victorian echoes: the exalted Female, the abject male eager to touch
even her glove or boot. Our ancestors much better than we that Femaleness itself is precious,
a treasured ideal to which the male aspires.
The Goddess fantasy also offers a Dominatrix a taste of transcendent power. For many
Ladies, this fantasy is merely a pleasant game, a way to receive the personal respect and
 tender ministrations due a Goddess. They don't take the spiritual ramifications seriously, but
they enjoy the exotic atmosphere and the, slave's devotion.

For some Goddesses, however, the sexual rituals are an erotic way to make contact with the
Triple Goddess, the ancient Maiden/Mother/Crone who ruled our hearts before the male gods
of the patriarchy were ever thought of. All the Triple Goddesses (and she appears in many
ancient cultures) possessed and ruled a male consort, whom she used sexually and
sometimes discarded. The Triple (or Great) Goddess demands reverence toward Women,
respect and acceptance for sexuality, and harmony between humans and the earth they live
on. As the representative of the Divine Feminine, the Mistress accepts the adoration and
worship of a male votary or slave.

The Dominatrix who expresses her religious beliefs by becoming the High Priestess of the
Goddess is really outside the scope of this book. (Although some Readers may be High
Priestesses seeking new ideas, most Goddess worshippers already understand the basic
dynamics of Female Dominance and male submission, and do not need me to explain their
sacred myths.)
So this chapter is written under the assumption that you are designing rituals for your own
sexual pleasure and that of your male submissive. It is perfectly possible to play out a
Goddess fantasy without believing in the Triple Goddess; even the psychological aspects of
the fantasy, in which a male seeks to balance his life by getting in touch with the Female anima
within him, are unnecessary to sexual satisfaction. All you really need to enjoy this fantasy is
provided below: a basic understanding of the elements, of the dynamics of power between the
Goddess and her slave, and of various interesting erotic activities that can take place.

The Elements of Fantasy

The key to enacting this fantasy is worship. Don't imagine hymn-singing and lengthy sermons.
"Worship" here has a specific meaning: the expression of adoration and respect by stroking,
licking, and caressing the body of the Goddess. This sense of worship is expressed in the
Episcopal wedding service: "with my.; body I thee worship." Yet you don't wish the body
worship to degenerate to mere foreplay, a means to an end. The chance to touch your feet
must be sufficient privilege to thrill your submissive.
Preserving a Goddess's emotional remoteness while enjoying your slave's ministrations is an
entertaining trick and can be the source of years of pleasure. Creating an appropriate script
and setting is vital to maintaining the illusion that you are divine.

The Script. The script can be simple (your slave wishes to offer you worship) or lengthy and
complex (your votary desires a favor, but first must endure a lengthy ordeal to prove his
worthiness or cleanse him from his transgressions). To design a script satisfying to both of
you, you must balance the sensual. elements of body worship with the other possibilities of
verbal humiliations, physical punishment, Feminization, or whatever else is part of your
ceremonies. Some slaves of the Goddess need a great deal of torment to cleanse them of sin
or prove their manhood. Others prefer to spend hours massaging the feet of the Goddess,
rendering obeisance to her Female Shrine, or serving her in other ways. Consider your needs
and those of your votary before you decide on the details of the script.
The script itself should be reasonably specific about such details as your identity and culture.
You may choose to be a modern Goddess, so you can skip getting special costumes, settings,
and props. In that case, your Femaleness itself is what deserves worship and attention, and
you may dress in whatever way best enhances it.

But I think it's more amusing to be an ancient Goddess of some kind. Do a little research on
the ancient Greek and Roman Goddesses and decide whether you wish to be the sensual
Aphrodite or the savage and untouched Artemis. (The book Goddesses in Everywoman, by
Jean Shinoda Bolen, is useful for this as well as having profound psychological insights.) Or
you could look further and become an incarnation of the Triple Goddess in any of a number of
cultures: Egyptian, Phoenician, Irish, Nordic, Welsh, or pure pagan. Would you rather dress
like Cleopatra? Choose to be Isis or Astarte. Do you long to be a warrior maiden? Try being a
Valkyrie. Does a medieval look appeal to you? Try one of the ancient Celtic goddesses, Welsh
or Irish. You could be Ceridwen, Olwen, even the human heroine Boadicea (although she's a
few centuries earlier than the Middle Ages).

The point in choosing an identity is not to force you into improving your education, but to make
the fantasy vivid and specific. The Egyptian style appropriate to a s ene featuring Isis would be
all wrong for a Valkyrie. Choose what you like, and make it live in your fantasies. And if you
simply can't decide between Artemis and Astarte, well, you can be both at different times.
Some of the props and costumes can be used for several different Goddesses. Just be sure
you make it clear to your slave just whom he is supposed to be honoring today.

Costumes. For Dommes who want to dress as a Goddess, the most commonly worn costume
consists of a draped Grecian gown, made at home or adapted from a nightgown. Snake
bracelets, sandals, and a small flogger or other multi-thonged whip complete the look. Vaguely
medieval garb is also popular, as are caftans, cloaks, or, for the truly savage Goddess, short
dresses made of fluttering scraps of suede or leather. In fact, whatever attire you find most
impressive, erotic, and comfortable is suitable wear for the Goddess within you.
Some modern Goddesses wear the Amazonian outfit of sky-high heels and silver-studded
black leather, but I myself find this puzzling. What's the point of being divine if you have to
wear something uncomfortable? If you wear chains, they should be delicate and golden, not
ones that look like you swiped them from the neighborhood motorcycle mama.
Your votary should dress as you dictate. A simple loincloth (or nothing at all) is most
appropriate for a bath slave. Many Goddesses prefer to see their slaves garbed in no more
than a collar and a cock restraint.
For certain rituals, however, Feminine garb best suits the votary. You may decree that he is
forbidden to touch certain parts of your body unless he is wearing Female panties, for
example, or you may demand that he dress in full drag to perform certain rituals. (For his
temerity in donning Female attire, you must punish him thoroughly, of course. Yes, even
though you commanded him to. That's part of the fun.)

Setting And Props. To choose setting and props, you should first consider
the total effect of your fantasy. The modern Goddess may choose a conventional dungeon
setup (as described in the Amazon chapter), or whatever other settings
best suit her fantasy and occur to her imagination.
The other Goddesses must choose a setting appropriate to their personae. An outdoor scene
is best suited to one of the nature Goddesses: Artemis or Demeter or the Triple Goddess.
Clouds of incense, exotic music, and luxurious Oriental carpets evoke Isis and Astarte.
Anything sensual and lush, especially hot baths, rich perfumes, and dim lighting, seems best
for Aphrodite. Use your imagination.
You don't need to spend a fortune; you can often find props and even furniture at thrift shops.
Or you can adapt things you already own. Few people escaped the sixties without at least one
incense burner. Bring it out and light sandalwood incense to make the worship of Isis come to
life. That nostalgic scent alone should make you feel nineteen again and ready for love.

The Skills of a Goddess

A Goddess may call on the skills of an Amazon, a Queen, a Governess, even a Nursemaid on
occasion (if she's giving a ceremonial purge). She must be able to command a slave and
punish him, dress him in Feminine garb, place him in bondage, verbally humiliate him, and
even put him through the intense stimulation of penis punishment.
Yet the Goddess's distinctive skill is not bondage or discipline or humiliation, useful as these
are to her. It is accepting worship. More even than the Queen, so lavishly served and honored,
the Goddess exists to be touched, stroked, and stimulated. Orgasm is not the only purpose.
Twenty minutes of foot massage may not give either party an orgasm, but it gives both of them
an intense sensual pleasure. Although extended oral servitude does usually result in orgasm,
often repeated and overwhelming climaxes, the contact is what really counts.
Your major need as a Goddess is to believe you deserve all the pleasure, all the touching, you
will receive. Learn to demand it as a right. Get used to pleasure. Your Divine Femaleness is so
unique and precious that your submissive will do literally anything to come in contact with it.
When you realize that your Femaleness is a treasure that your slave is honored, even exalted,
to be permitted to touch, then you will have the correct Goddess attitude.
Since your lowest part - in mystical terms, the part of your Holiness that actually connects with
the lower world - is the foot, it is most appropriate for your submissive to approach and worship
it. Moreover, the Female foot is a lovely and delicate member, exceedingly sensitive and all too
often abused by uncomfortable shoes and other stresses and strains. Your votary should
spend a good deal of time caring for your precious feet. You may demand foot baths, foot
massage, or a combination of the two.

Foot Baths. This charming .custom is both soothing and sensual. Moreover, it displays your
slave in a very erotic and humbling position - kneeling at your feet - and is calculated to lead to
more interesting activities.
Seat yourself in a comfortable chair, with your feet extended. Command your slave to bring in
the equipment for a foot bath. (He'll probably have to arrange them on a large tray, which he
may set on the floor as is. The towel should hang over his arm.) The equipment consists of the
following:
- A waterproof mat. A small bathroom rug will do, or even a towel, in a pinch. Or you may
simply use the tray, if it is large enough.
- A basin filled with steaming, scented water. Your slave should know the exact temperature
you prefer, along with whatever bath oils, herbs, salts, or pearls you enjoy. If you like a plain
foot bath, thin slices of lemon floating on the water are also a nice touch.
- A sponge, washcloth, or small soft brush, if you like them.
- A bar of soap or tube of shower gel. Don't stint yourself; these should be richly scented and
emollient. Bath salts (or bubble bath) and soap with matching scents are a very agreeable
luxury, and not outrageously expensive. Often you can get a set with coordinating lotion and
talcum powder as well. If so, you may include these accessories on the tray for after the foot
bath.
- A second basin of plain hot water for rinsing. (This is an extra luxury, not a necessity.) You
may choose instead a thick washcloth wrung out in hot water.
- A small plush towel for drying your feet.
- Pedicure equipment, if you so desire.
After placing the basin on the mat, your votary should kneel at your feet and gently remove
your shoes and stockings, if you are wearing them, and lift your feet into the water, Then, one
foot at a time, he should gently wash, stroke, and rub each foot, using the sponge (or
whatever) if that is your pleasure. Otherwise he should simply use his hands to work up a good
lather, and rub them gently but firmly over each foot, drawing his fingers between your toes
and taking care to rub your insteps and arches.
When your feet are lusciously clean and relaxed, the votary may rinse them in the second
basin or wipe them with the hot damp washcloth. Then he should slowly and carefully dry your
feet. If you wish, he may rub them with soothing lotion or talcum powder and proceed to a
pedicure.
During this incredibly erotic process, you may be sitting back in your chair, relaxing. You may
have candles lit, incense burning, music playing - whatever is to your taste. You may be
sipping tea or nibbling grapes. The scene should stimulate all your senses and those of your
slave, so that both of you are bathed in sweet eroticism.
Most important of all, you could be talking: telling your slave how obedient, privileged, or
unworthy he is; retailing a fantasy adventure; talking about your Divine Femaleness;
threatening future punishments; discussing the oral servitude to come; or whatever
conversation strikes your fancy and fits your fantasy.
You may also, if you are a cruel Goddess, keep your votary mindful of your power by flicking
him lazily with a crop or cat.
Once the feet are clean and dried, you may elect to receive a foot massage, a body massage,
oral servitude, or any of a hundred other delightful services. Depending on your script, you
may also proceed to punishing or rewarding your votary.

Variations on a Bath Theme. After experiencing even one foot bath, you may come to the
conclusion that leaving such delight only to the feet is a bad idea, and extend the range to
Shrine baths, hand baths, and whole-body baths. In each case the basic technique is the same
- although you use a whole bathtub, preferably a Victorian slipper tub, for the whole-body bath.
Even a shower, for those deprived of a tub, may be enlivened by the use of a bath slave.
Naturally, he'll have to get in with you, but you can hog the hot water with no feeling of guilt
whatsoever. A multistream showerhead on a flexible hose adds immeasurably to the delight of
this act.
Some Goddesses borrow an idea from the Queen and order their votaries to shave the
Mistress's legs, armpits, and even pubic area.

More Games with Feet

Foot Worship and Massage. Foot massage may precede, follow, or preempt the foot bath.
Some votaries find the scent and feel of sweaty feet more arousing than that of clean or
perfumed feet. Allow him his little eccentricities; look what pleasures you can get from this
man. The foot massage may be done barefoot or over stockings. Of all the many positions in
which foot massage may be done, the favorite is to have the Mistress seated in a chair, her
vassal kneeling at her feet. Massage should be tender, firm, and thorough.
Foot worship - a term often used for what might better be called boot worship - is the act of
kissing, caressing, licking, and sucking the feet of the Goddess. For some lucky Women, few
sexual acts feel better than having their toes luxuriously sucked. It ranks right up there with
cunnilingus. You will never know until you try, and Female Dominance sessions are the ideal
time to discover this hot new erogenous zone.

Boot Worship. Many of the Female Dominance magazines refer to this practice as "foot
worship," although the sensation to the Mistress is hardly similar. Boot worship has less to do
with the feet than the shoes or boots. Basically it consists of foot worship applied to the
Mistress's footwear, an erotic displacement that many males find incredibly arousing. For the
Lady involved, its erotic stimulus derives from the power involved in making a male bow down
and lick her boots. (For more shoe symbolism, see Chapter 12, under "Costumes.")

Other Fetishes. Noting the extension of actual foot worship into boot worship, the intelligent
Reader can see that the Female Divinity is expressed not only by the beautiful Female body
but also on a Woman's intimate possessions. Even your clothing is saturated with your
essence and therefore holy. The Goddess may choose to extend her power into various
inanimate objects, which she commands her slave to worship. Panties, slips, gloves,
stockings, and (of course) footwear aye traditional; you may amuse yourself by making your
votary worship other articles as well. The important qualities of the garment or possession are,
first, its Feminine nature; second, its intimate contact with the Female Divinity; third, its ability
to absorb the delicate perfumes of her body.

The Pleasures of a Goddess

The Goddess's pleasures are undeniably direct and sensual. Her power is, as always, a
source of great satisfaction, but the lengthy touching and caressing she receives from her
submissive is a central part of her pleasure.

The Needs of a Votary

The votary has the deepest respect and reverence for Feminine power. He knows that
everything pertaining to Womanhood is suffused with erotic and spiritual force. Although the
votary yearns to have the honor of contact with Female flesh, he would be happy simply to
touch her boots, since this honor extends even to her possessions.
As a slave, he is willing to serve his Mistress unstintingly, to provide-her with breathtaking and
bountiful orgasms, and to undergo any ordeal she wishes. He may have to suffer from ritual
cleansing, and he is also, of course, subject to the usual punishments for failing to please his
Mistress. 

Ordeals and Cleansing Rituals. The trial by fire or religious ordeal is a session of
punishment, ranging from simple spanking to lengthy CBT. All the techniques should be
familiar by now; what differs is the meaning of the ordeal. A submissive of any stripe is
punished for naughtiness. A votary (or an Amazon's slave) endures an ordeal to prove his
manhood. A Governess may wish to see her schoolboy's spirit break into obedience and
submission. A Goddess or an Amazon wishes to test her slave for his worthiness - spiritual or
sexual, respectively. If he breaks, he has proved himself unworthy.
The Goddess's ordeal is not much different than the one described in the chapter on Amazons.
However, the Goddess may a o insist upon cleansing rituals to purify her slave. They may be
administered before he is permitted to touch her, after an absence, or after he has spent a
session under the Rule of another Mistress.
Cleansing rituals usually include several forms of punishment, bondage, bathing, and
sometimes golden showers and/or enemas. Plan them carefully to cleanse whatever part of
your votary has been contaminated. For example, if he has been caught masturbating, focus
the cleansing on his wicked fingers and penis. If he spent time with (or even fantasized about)
another Mistress, the liberal application of a paddle, followed by a few strokes with the riding
crop, should begin the process of purification, but you may also need to give him a panty
cocktail (as described in the chapter on the Queen), an enema, and/or a golden shower to
restore him to your complete Domination.
Only when all traces of the impurity are gone should you accept him back into your service.
You may also choose to enact cleansing rituals on a weekly or monthly basis, just to keep him
free of the taint of wicked thoughts.

Enacting the Scene

The classical three-act structure of a scene may apply rather loosely to the Goddess's domain.
Some submissives are happy simply to serve and need little punishment. If you and your slave
fit that pattern, concentrate on Act One, keep the punishment in Act Two to a minimum, and
enjoy Act Three in whatever way strikes your fancy. Other votaries crave punishment, wish to
undergo lengthy ordeals, or need frequent cleansing from impure thoughts. In that case, the
establishment of authority in Act One may be brief, but the punishment of Act Two can be
intense. In all cases, the release of Act Three should include plenty of Goddess worship of
whatever type you most enjoy.
Remember, a happy Mistress is a sexually satisfied Mistress. No slave wants to fail by leaving
his Goddess unfulfilled. Demand and get as many climaxes as you want.

Act One. The activities suitable to this stage of the scene should be familiar to readers who
have been perusing this volume front-to-back. (If you have not, check the other fantasy
chapters for suggestions.) Changing his clothes, placing him in bondage or in a penis restraint,
showing him by voice and word that you are now his Goddess, you establish your absolute
power and his absolute submission. You may wish to Feminize your slave, demand oral
servitude, or receive foot worship. Depending on your script, you may find fault with the
votary's performance (in which case, you proceed to Act Two and his punishment) or simply
enjoy lots of stimulation.
If you Feminize you votary, it is not to punish him but to honor him with the touch of your
Femaleness. He may be ashamed of his Feminine attire, but that shame is not merely the
schoolboy's humiliation at being considered a sissy. It is a shame based in his knowledge of
his own masculine unworthiness. You may follow Feminization with punishment for his temerity
in dressing as the superior sex.

Act Two. Your slave must be punished, cleansed, or subjected to a trial by fire. You may use
every technique from verbal humiliation to golden showers to make your point. If the purpose is
to punish him, make sure he breaks into submission before you stop.
If, however, you are testing his devotion in an ordeal or purging his transgressions in a
cleansing ritual, you can't go on until he breaks. In face, if he does break, he has failed. You
have to know your male's sensitivities very well to do this properly, but it can be exceedingly
satisfying if you do it right.
Tell him exactly what to expect - a dozen strokes of the cane, say, and ten minutes of penis
punishment - and warn him about what behavior will constitute failure on his part. Be specific.
A Governess can get away with saying, "I want you to take this like a man," because she fully
expects her charge to take it like a little boy. But you are not punishing a naughty boy, you are
testing the courage and devotion of a grown male vowed to your service, and you owe him a
clear and complete description of what he must achieve to pass the endurance test. Say, "You
must endure ten lashes without moving or crying out, or I will gag you with these wet panties."
Yes, you should use your descriptive powers to make the coming ordeal seem almost
unbearable, but you may not lie. Say, "Each lash will burn like lightning against your naked
skin. You will long to writhe and moan, but you know you must lie still and take whatever your
cruel Goddess chooses to give you - yes, and thank me for my kindness in punishing you so
severely!" Don't say "I'm going to give you a thousand lashes," and then give him ten. Don't
even promise a dozen and then give him ten. That isn't kindness. The votary needs to test
himself against a known benchmark.

Act Three. Release! All the wonderful activities of Act One may be recapitulated here.
Whatever reward you wish to offer for his manful fortitude through his trial by fire, whatever
intimate rituals he may now performance since he has been cleansed of sin, or whatever
activity he has just been punished for previously bungling, may be done to your satisfaction
and his.
His satisfaction may be taken in a number of ways: masturbating in panties to offer his seed to
the Goddess is quite popular, or you may snap on a vibrating cock ring and give him a handsoff
orgasm, or you may condescend to rub his penis yourself, or mate with him in a ritual
climax. "

Variations on the Fantasy

This fantasy works best with the ,Queen or Amazon fantasies. You can readily combine the
Goddess archetype with the feminization and service of the Queen fantasy or the ordeal and
bondage of the Amazon.
If your submissive male prefers the Nursemaid or Governess fantasies, you may want to work
out a trade-off. You will baby or chastise him to his heart's content, but only after he has
earned it with a lengthy session of foot worship or whatever you please. Do not agree to
postpone your pleasure until after his fantasy, unless you know absolutely that your man is
honorable about such things. Remember, control the cock and you control the man - a pitiable
but accurate assessment of most males' priorities and emotional development. Or you may
agree to alternate between the two forms of fantasy.

TEN RULES
For a Successful Mistress

"The rule of joy and the law of duty seem to me all one." Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

1. Control the orgasm, and you control the male.
2. To make any fantasy work, you must build suspense in your submissive.
3. Stimulation plus frustration equals service and submission.
4. Every submissive will try to test the limits of your Rule. Never let him
get away with anything. He needs you to be both firm and consistent.
5. Physical pain alone cannot satisfy a submissive. (A masochist, yes.)
6. The more aroused your submissive is, the more pain he can take.
7. The more effective your psychological Dominance, the less pain you will need to inflict to
control and satisfy your submissive.
8. All punishment is a balance between intensity and duration. More intense pain should last
less time; if you want to prolong the punishment, use less intense stimulation.
9. Submission increases with time. As long as you maintain firm control, the longer a session
lasts, the more thoroughly submissive your male will become.
10. Your control and pleasure are inextricably intertwined with his submission and pleasure.

























































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